by Angelica Hinojosa
1) If you've fallen down and can't get up, someone will actually help you ... for a considerable sum of money.
2) If you miss a stop sign, someone will actually go out of his or her way to place himself or herself smack in front of you, car and all, to remind you that you were supposed to stop.
3) If you can't remember who came home with you last night, don't worry -- your neighbor does.
4) If you can't find your car after a long day shopping at the mall, don't worry -- someone has located it and is taking such good care of it that you'd never recognize it if you saw it.
5) If you get pulled over by a cop, relax. He's probably your Tia Panchita's neighbor's cousin's ex-boyfriend -- you know the guy!
6) If you go to hell when you die, it's all in good humor: You're already used to the weather.