## Welcome to our Letters Archive.

### Here is some of the mail we received in 1999.

2/04/99

#### RESPONSE TO ONE-SIDED

I was a "victim" of an abusive husband for 11 years. He was verbally abusive, emotionally abusive, and finally physically abusive. I won't go into details, but I assure you that although I had no obvious bruises or broken bones, I had internal injuries and a broken spirit. I might add that my ex-husband was schooled by the "Jesuits", the same as Clinton, and as Clinton, he had his course set for him.

I had 5 pregnancies in 3 years, 3 C-Sections and 2 miscarriages. I nearly died with all three births and was in the hospital for 10 days with all three. I walked out of the hospital weighing 91 lbs. after each birth (Graves Disease). My children were my life, I would have gladly given my life for each one, my last I had an emergency hysterectomy, at the age of 25, I could have no more children.

I knew of my ex-husband's infidelities and ignored them. I didn't believe in divorce, that is until he tried to kill me. I suffered 18 mos. of private investigators following me. I had my phone tapped, an intruder came into my apt. and was chased away by a neighbor (I understood there was a contract out for me). My ex was seeing two women, each from a different state, but lied under oath (guess he thought "seeing" meant something else). The only way he could hurt me was to take my children away from me.

Our divorce was a "test case" for men to gain custody without justifiable reason, for our state. This was in the late 70‚s to early 80's. Our case was "closed door" to the public, but all the judges & lawyers attended the hearings. I was "laughed" at for my accusations of abuse, yet my ex was viewed as a saint. During these 18 mos. my ex often would go 3 mos. without paying child support, I had to pay to go to court, to have his lawyer show up at my lawyers the day of court with a check. It always bounced after the judge declared it a dismissed case, yet I still had to pay court costs. Meanwhile, he was giving all our lawn equipment to his girlfriend and bought her children eye glasses. Many times I would sit in the middle of my kitchen floor, crying and wondering how I was going to buy enough food or give my children money for their lunch, so they wouldn't have to stand in the "special" line for the "free lunches".

At the end, I agreed to do the child custody & divorce (which I refused to file for) all in one. I lost custody of my children on the grounds that I was an "over protective" mother.

It took me 7 years (when I got saved) to finally be able to "forgive" my ex for all the pain that he caused me. I waited 17 years before I remarried. My grown children still carry the scars of being torn away from their mother, and I am feeling the pain all over again, for them.

After my ex took my children, I was given a liberal visitation (my ex married one of his girlfriends and she wanted the children gone as much as possible, but they both used the children as a pon to control me). I still would give my life for any of my children.

In all this, I prayed to my Father, "Why, why O Lord, why did I lose my children"? I was saved for two years when the Lord spoke to me. It was an audible voice, I fell on my knees, crying, as the very presence of Jesus was too much to bare.

The voice said, "Do you remember how much pain you felt when your children left you"?

I wanted to die, I cried from the depth of my soul, "Yes", I answered.

"I hurt 100 times more when my children leave me", He said. "Do you remember how much you hurt when your children blamed you and it wasn't your fault"?

"Yes", I answered.

"I hurt 100 times more when my children blame me and it is not my fault. Do you remember how much you hurt when your children are disobedient to you"?

"Yes"

"I hurt 100 times more when my children are disobedient to me".

I was crying with my face on the floor, when He spoke again.

"You lost your children so that you could come to know me".

You see, without pain and suffering we would have no reason to seek Jesus as our Saviour. To know Him is to know His Words and to "feel" His pain, approval, and love.

Children belong with their mother. Fathers should pay for child support, but if they don't, that will be dealt with by the Lord, in His time. The government should stay out of the family affairs as much as possible.

I have known women that had babies out of wedlock, they worked as hookers or in bars. These women were not the "class" of mothers that one would expect to be raising children. Yet, of the three that I know of personally (one was my childhood friend), their children grew up to be respectable adults, good grades, college scholarships, etc. I would not have raised my children the same way, yet for whatever reason, these children came out normal.

I too was a bit confused by the articles, but the links will take you to several sites, including sites opposed to Fathers taking custody of their children. The Lord will not always do as we ask (or want), because we are to ask that His Will be done. His Will may not be ours. The government, however, should stay away from trying to become God. I do hope that was the purpose of the article on fathers that pay no support.

Cyndi

Editors Response:

It was.