1ST DRAFT - 5/15/1999

REVISED - 9/10/1999

REVISED - 10/13/2000

LEFTOVERS

By

Daniel P. Ward

FILM SUMMARY:

Steve's in his late twenties and still looking for love in the big city clubs. Little did he know he'd find it at his local tavern. Now, between his best friend, the ex-girlfriends, the new girlfriend and the regulars at the bar Steve negotiates the obstacle course called the modern relationship.

FADE IN:

OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE

EXT. PHILADELPHIA CITYSCAPE - DUSK

We take a long shot of the "City of Brotherly Love" and helicopter towards the metropolis along the Ben Franklin Bridge. We cruise over and around buildings and then zoom down to cars on the expressway. We start to follow a white car through the city and off the 95 South Exit. The car turns off on the Columbus Boulevard exit and drives down Columbus Boulevard.

CUT TO:

EXT. URBAN NIGHTCLUB - FRIDAY NIGHT

The car drives up to a nightclub where the passengers exit. We do not see their faces. The driver tosses the keys to the valet. We zoom in behind the men as they walk in to the club.

CUT TO:

INT. URBAN NIGHTCLUB - FRIDAY NIGHT

Loud dance music plays. We see our two main characters, STEVE and DAVE. They stand at the doorway surveying the room. Both are average height and build and dressed casually (khakis and dress shirts). The hallway light shines behind them in bright white while their front is a mixture of darkness and light from the dance floor lighting. They pose like sharks in a pool full of crippled fish. These guys are studs. Then STEVE sneezes turning their coolness into awkwardness. DAVE shakes his head at STEVE and begins to walk in to the club. STEVE hurries his step to catch up to DAVE.

We follow them from the front until STEVE makes a pointing gesture and we follow DAVE’s eyes to see two lovely young ladies. As we turn around we are now following the two from behind as they approach the bar. DAVE orders a Windsor and Coke and a bottle of Yuengling Lager. The bartender gets their drinks, the two turn and continue to survey the bar as they take the first taste of their beverages.

DAVE

Where would you like to start?

STEVE doesn’t say a word and shrugs.

DAVE

No time like the present. (beat) Let's light this candle.

We then see a montage of DAVE and STEVE talking to various women.

FLASH TO:

INT. URBAN NIGHTCLUB - FRIDAY NIGHT

STEVE and DAVE are talking with a HYPER GIRL and her friend at the bar. DAVE is very interested while STEVE doesn’t appear to care.

HYPER GIRL

Yeah, I’m a senior at St. Joe’s.

DAVE

What’s your major?

HYPER GIRL

Psychology (beat) with a minor in French and Political Science.

DAVE

Wow! So what are you doing after graduation? Grad school?

HYPER GIRL

No. I’m going to Africa to do volunteer work. I get such a great feeling from helping people, don't you?

DAVE

Sure. You too don’t you Steve?

STEVE

You kidding me? I hate people, and I wouldn’t go to Africa if you paid me. All those bugs and shit, forget it.

The HYPER GIRL sighs obviously turned off and her friend pulls her away from the bar. DAVE frowns at STEVE and STEVE laughs.

FLASH TO:

INT. URBAN NIGHTCLUB - FRIDAY NIGHT

STEVE and DAVE talking to two very attractive women seated at a table.

STEVE

So what do you do?

DANCER GIRL

I’m a dancer?

STEVE

Wait, let me guess. You dance at Delilah’s Den

The DANCER GIRL gives him an evil stare

STEVE

Club Risque?

The DANCER GIRL grabs here friend and they stand.

DANCER GIRL

I dance with the Philadelphia Ballet you creep.

The girls walk away disgusted. DAVE is in hysterics laughing at his friend.

DAVE

Nice and smooth baby!

STEVE

Yeah and you’re some help! You couldn’t have pushed me out of the way of the bus?

DAVE

Instant Karma man. You could have pretended to care for the Peace Corps chick.

FLASH TO:

INT. URBAN NIGHTCLUB - FRIDAY NIGHT

DAVE and STEVE are about to drink shots with two ladies who are dressed in black leather.

STEVE

So what are we drinking to?

LEATHER GIRL #1

What do you normally drink to?

STEVE

(half-serious)

World peace and racial harmony.

LEATHER GIRL #2

Forget that! We’re drinking to nights of drunken passion and mornings of hungover regret.

DAVE

Works for me!

They drink and slam their glasses on the table.

LEATHER GIRL #1

So are you guys into anything kinky?

STEVE

Define kinky.

GIRL #4 leans in and looks at STEVE very seriously.

LEATHER GIRL #2

What she means is will you let us tie you up and beat you?

STEVE is hoping that she's joking

STEVE

That’s funny. Gotta be the best line I've heard all night.

LEATHER GIRL #1

She wasn’t joking. We’re looking for some new slaves.

DAVE

Sorry, we’re staunch supporters of the Emancipation Proclamation.

LEATHER GIRL #2

Too bad, we were starting to like you.

LEATHER GIRL #1 pulls a black leather whip out of her purse and flashes it to the boys. DAVE and STEVE look at each other obviously freaked out. They stand up and walk away without saying a word. We see the LEATHER GIRLS disappointed at first then smiling as the STEVE and DAVE leave the table.

FLASH TO:

INT. URBAN NIGHTCLUB - FRIDAY NIGHT

STEVE and DAVE are standing by the bar finishing their drinks and they see the LEATHER GIRLS still eyeing them up.

STEVE

What do you say we take off before they decide to follow us home?

DAVE

I was thinking of entering witness protection myself, but we’ll see if you’re plan works

They exit the bar.

CUT TO:

EXT. URBAN NIGHTCLUB - FRIDAY NIGHT

The valet brings the car around, STEVE and DAVE get in and drive away.

END OF CREDIT SEQUENCE

fade TO:

EXT. CINEMA MULTIPLEX - THE NEXT NIGHT (SATURDAY)

Establishing shot of the cinema center with 22 theatres. The parking lot is full and there are small groups of people outside waiting for rides, being dropped off, etc..

CUT TO:

INT. MOVIE THEATRE - NIGHT

The lights are coming up as the ending credits roll and we see STEVE and DAVE sitting with a seat between them as the people around them get up and leave.

STEVE

So what did you think?

DAVE

I think I wanted to jam my shoe down the guy-behind-me’s throat. Did he shut up for one minute?

STEVE

Yeah, I really needed him to tell me and everyone else in the theatre that B and E meant breaking and entering.

DAVE

Asshole watches Law & Order re-runs and thinks he’s a legal expert.

STEVE

Okay, annoying audience members aside, what did you think of the movie?

DAVE

It was okay, but why do they cast a thirty-year-old guy and put him in make-up that makes him look 70? Aren’t there enough 70-year-old actors in Hollywood? What pisses me off is that he’ll probably receive an award for that shit.

STEVE

Come on, you didn’t think he was good?

DAVE

Please! Put the rubber face on me and I’ll walk to the corner store with a cane. Would I get 8 million for it? Would I get a nomination? No. Some actor who's on magazine covers every week for the simple fact that genetics has dealt him a better hand than most of us is getting the money, the awards and the women.

STEVE

I’m sensing a sore point here.

DAVE

Ah man, I’m just sick of meeting nothing but psycho chicks like those two leatherheads at the bar last night? Totally wacked!

STEVE

Well, I can see where this is going. Come on, let’s go to Village.

DAVE nods and they get up and leave the frame

CUT TO:

EXT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN PARKING LOT - NIGHT

STEVE’s car pulls into the Village Tavern parking lot and finds a spot right in front of the bar. STEVE and DAVE get out and head for the bar.

STEVE

I Love getting the Kojack spot.

DAVE has obviously heard this many times before.

DAVE

Yeah, I know

The two enter the bar.

CUT TO:

INT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN - NIGHT

STEVE and DAVE enter the bar and are greeted by Terry, the bartender at the front bar who calls them by name, and then proceed to walk into the back room. A band is finishing up a song as they enter. BILL, the bartender in the back room, spots them and begins to pour their drinks. STEVE and DAVE shake hands with a few people as they grab seats at the bar. They are obviously regulars.

BILL puts their drinks in front of them and offers each of them a handshake. BILL is a tall man in his late 40's.

BILL

How are you doing guys?

STEVE

Alright man, got the Kojack spot, got my drink, no complaints.

BILL

What spot?

STEVE

The Kojack spot.

BILL

I don’t get it?

STEVE

Didn’t you ever notice on Kojack that no matter where the guy was driving to there was always an open spot right in front of the building. I mean, the guy could have been pulling into Yankee Stadium during a World Series game to arrest George Steinbrenner and by some unbelievable stroke of luck there would be an open spot right in front of the entrance.

BILL

Yeah, so?

STEVE

Well, I pulled in here and there was a spot right in front of the bar.

BILL

I wouldn’t think it would be too hard the way this band is driving away business. They suck!

DAVE

It helps if you actually listen to a demo tape.

BILL

Hey, the owner booked 'em. Unfortunately his idea of good music is a Gerry and the Pacemakers reunion.

They all grin. STEVE and DAVE drink and BILL goes to pour beers for the band who is now taking a break.

STEVE

So what were we talking about?

DAVE

Meeting nothing but psycho chicks with issues. Man, are there no normal girls around here? Maybe I need to move somewhere else.

STEVE

Oh, come on you had that one, uh what’s her name?

DAVE

Who, Lisa?

STEVE

Yeah Lisa! She was nice, cute, not too many issues.

DAVE

(Sarcastically)

Right! First of all the girl was far too young for me and I should have seen that. I mean a twenty year old girl dating a guy who’s 27? It’s a little too much of a difference, not just in age, but socially. The girl couldn’t walk into a bar with me. It was like returning to high school. You know how relationships that start in high school usually end if one goes to college before the other?

STEVE

Yeah.

DAVE

It’s all social levels. People change and they can no longer relate how they used to. Lisa and I never even related to begin with. She liked dating an older guy and I liked her body. Believe me she was smart as a bag of hammers and that wears thin after a while. She broke up with me but I was more relieved than disappointed.

STEVE

Yeah, but did she pass the door test?

DAVE

With flying colors, I was hoping she would fail so that I could end it. But every time I opened the door for her she reached right over to unlock mine. She must have seen A Bronx Tale or something.

STEVE

It’s a shame to find one that passes and have to end it anyway. That girl Amy I was seeing never passed the door test, but I was stupid and kept going out with her anyway.

DAVE

Let me guess. Not only did she care too much about herself but she had issues too.

STEVE

You kidding me? That girl had more issues than National Geographic. Check this out. The father runs off with the secretary leaving the wife, who supported him through college, uneducated and unemployed while he lives in a 7-bedroom mini-mansion in the suburbs. And because of the financial circumstances the kids have to live with the Dad. I tell you one visit where the Mom & Dad had to be together was worth at least 5 hours of me playing therapist afterwards.

DAVE

Psycho! Were you dumber then or something?

STEVE

Hey, I thought I loved her. (beat) There were a few good things about our relationship.

DAVE

Like what?

STEVE

Well for some reason both times we broke up it was around Thanksgiving which means I didn’t have to deal with her family for that and then we would get back together after Christmas, which means I saved on the presents.

DAVE

Why the hell did you get back together?

STEVE

She always seemed to change her tune after New Year’s. I guess it was the whole family holiday pressure. She couldn’t deal with the family and me during that time. She actually tried to get back together a third time.

DAVE

What did you tell her?

STEVE

Nothing. I never called her back. I ran in to some of her friends at homecoming last year and they said she was looking for me. Lucky for me I didn’t see her.

DAVE

I guess. You could have finally been on the hook Christmas.

STEVE

Man, what are we sitting here bitching for? There’s gotta be some girlies here.

BILL has returned to that section of the bar to pour some drinks and is listening.

DAVE

Nah, this is a great place to drink, but the girls are always a little older here.

BILL overhears DAVE and decides to comment.

BILL

Hey man, don’t look in the mirror now, but nobody’s carding you here. How old are you Dave, 28?

DAVE

27!

BILL

Oh wow, 27! Face it boys you are now the older, un-married crowd. You know (beat) the leftovers.

STEVE

Nice. Hey I got no problems with the girls here.

STEVE Points to DAVE.

STEVE(cont'd)

Talk to the bitch with the biological clock over here.

DAVE

Fuck you man! I just can’t seem to get in to the girls here. All the really cute ones are married or seeing someone. Girls don’t come here to pick-up.

STEVE

Should we go cruise the high schools tomorrow so you can find your next disappointing relationship?

DAVE

Man, I can’t talk to you about this stuff anymore. I’m gonna go check the front bar for ladies.

DAVE stands up and walks out of the frame. STEVE takes a sip of his drink, turns to where DAVE has just walked off and shouts to him.

STEVE

Hey Rob Lowe! Make sure you card them!

STEVE turns back towards the bar as the band begins. BILL stops in place in front of STEVE and listens to the band begin.

BILL

Steve I gotta get some better talent in this place. (beat) Hey, don't worry about all that leftover stuff. I've never been married.

STEVE

Yeah well, look at ya.

BILL abruptly grabs STEVE’s near-empty glass and walks down the bar.

BILL

Just for that I’m charging you for this one!

STEVE

(yelling after him)

What'd I say?

FADE TO:

INT. STEVE'S OFFICE - THE FOLLOWING MONDAY MORNING

STEVE sits at his computer in a cubicle typing and the phone rings.

STEVE

Hello, Systems, Steve Michaels.

BRENDA

(on the phone)

Hey buddy, we still doing lunch today?

STEVE

Oh hey! Yeah, gimme five minutes.

BRENDA

Stop by and get me.

STEVE

Okay, bye

STEVE hangs up the phone and continues with his typing.

FADE TO:

INT. BUILDING CAFETERIA - MONDAY LUNCHTIME

STEVE and BRENDA are sitting down at an empty table with their trays. BRENDA is an attractive girl in her late 20's. She is dressed in a business suit and looks to be in a higher profile position in the company than STEVE.

BRENDA

So what did you do this weekend?

STEVE

Friday night I went clubbing with Dave and we struck out more than an American League pitcher in a National League park.

BRENDA

So what’s new.

STEVE

Thanks for the confidence boost.

BRENDA

Poor baby, and Saturday?

STEVE

Saw a movie with Dave and then we went to the Village.

BRENDA

People are gonna start to talk about you two. If we hadn’t dated I would think you were playing for the other team.

STEVE

(In an effeminate voice joking)

Hey what can I say he’s so cute!

BRENDA

Don’t make me sick during lunch. So, no big happenings?

STEVE

No, the usual, we strike out on Friday and then complain about our horrible past relationships on Saturday.

BRENDA

How did I ever go out with someone so pathetic?

STEVE

Hey don’t blame me. Dave’s depression has a way of wearing off on you. In fact I’ve decided that I’m not gonna do it anymore. I’m off women. I’m going to become asexual.

BRENDA

Yeah, that’ll last.

STEVE

I’m serious. I’m tired of the games. I need to get in to myself again. I’m gonna spend time on me. I’m gonna work on my music so I can get out of this 9 to 5 life and start treating the women who throw themselves at me like garbage.

BRENDA

You could never do that. You’re far too nice a guy.

STEVE

See, that’s the problem. Girls don’t like the nice guy who treats them well. They like the asshole who beats them and treats them like shit.

BRENDA

That’s not true. I went out with you.

STEVE

Yeah, and it lasted a whole three months. Then you left me and went out with that asshole Tom. He treated you like shit but you stuck with him for a year.

BRENDA

It was only ten months (beat) and he didn’t treat me that bad.

STEVE

Yeah, right. The guy would get drunk every time you went out and he would tell the entire bar your favorite sexual position. Which would have helped me since I didn’t even know you liked doing "the crab."

BRENDA

I had never tried it before him.

STEVE

Then on your birthday the guy threw up at your party.

BRENDA

So, he wasn’t feeling well. It was a bad piece of chicken.

STEVE

Yeah, it wasn’t the seven shots of tequila. Didn’t he throw up on the cake?

BRENDA

Stop. I’ll just say it wasn’t the happiest of birthdays. But look who’s talking, who was your rebound girl?

STEVE

That was the shame of it all, I didn’t even get to piss you off by going out with someone else. I stayed a bachelor for a while after.

BRENDA

Enough with the reminiscing. God, Dave really is rubbing off on you.

STEVE

Sorry, like I said, I’m on the wagon. No more women.

BRENDA

I’m sure you’ll have second thoughts when you get tired of doing your own laundry if you know what I mean.

BRENDA makes "jerk-off" motion with her hand.

STEVE

Yes I do and I’ll tell ya, doing my own laundry is a lot better than having someone else do it for the price of my pride.

BRENDA

Oh, so now you have pride. When did that happen?

STEVE

When I saw that asshole you went out with after me.

BRENDA

Low blow.

STEVE

Is that an invitation?

Brenda gives him a fake smile and a dirty look. STEVE shrugs and smiles at her.

CUT TO:

INT. STEVE'S OFFICE - MONDAY AFTER LUNCH

STEVE is returning to his cubicle and sees the red light is on his phone for voice mail. He hits the "VOICE MAIL" button and we hear...

VOICE MAIL AUTOMATED VOICE

Please enter your password or if you entered the wrong----

STEVE cuts off the message by entering his password.

VOICE MAIL AUTOMATED VOICE

You have one new message. To listen to this message----

STEVE cuts off the message by entering "1."

VOICE MAIL AUTOMATED VOICE

Message one, today at 12:34 pm

MESSAGE

(AMY’s voice)

Hi Steve, it’s Amy. It’s been a long time and I wanted to see how you’re doing. Call me. I miss you and I think we should talk. In case you lost it my number is (215) 555-9854. Please call. I hope I hear from you soon. Bye.

STEVE is frowning as he hears the message and jots down the phone number. He then hits number 7 on the phone.

VOICE MAIL AUTOMATED VOICE

This message has been deleted. There are no more mess---

STEVE hangs up the phone sits down at his desk. He looks at his computer screen and then at the phone number. He waits a beat and then grabs the paper he wrote the number on and crumples it up. He slam-dunks it into the wastebasket and smiles, proud of himself for controlling himself.

CUT TO:

EXT. STEVE'S HOUSE - THURSDAY AT DUSK

Establishing shot of STEVE's two story suburban house with a wooden mailbox and decent landscaping. The flowers are budding in the early spring. You would expect a whole family to be living here, not a bachelor.

CUT TO:

INT. STEVE HOUSE - UPSTAIRS STUDIO - dusk

A bedroom has been turned into a home studio. A soundboard, various gear, speakers, and cables fill the room. A poster of Eddie Van Halen is right above his head on the wall. There is a keyboard-synthesizer and computer in the corner where STEVE is working on a computerized drum pattern. He is finishing up the drum part to a song he is working on. He finishes the part and smiles satisfied. He saves his work and shuts down the PC. He leaves the room. We follow STEVE down the hallway and the stairs. He grabs his leather jacket and turns the outside lights on as he leaves out the front door.

CUT TO:

INT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN - ThURSDAY NIGHT

Just as before STEVE is greeted by Terry at the front bar and proceeds to the back bar. It's a little more subdued from Saturday night. It is Trivia Night at the Village Tavern and 50 people or so are competing with each other in groups to win prizes for knowing the most trivial information. The game is being run by JOHN THE TRIVIA GUY, a tall brown haired man with an extra-medium build. STEVE is greeted by JOHN THE TRIVA GUY who hands him a few answer sheets and a pen knowing that STEVE likes to compete. STEVE finds a seat at the bar near two ladies, JENNIFER and SUZANNE, both in their mid-twenties. They seem to be involved in their own things so STEVE doesn’t pay them much attention. BILL has already poured STEVE’s Windsor and Coke and places it in front of him at the bar.

BILL

Well, if it isn’t the guy who’s too young to hang at my bar

STEVE

Hey that was Dave. I got no problem hanging here you know that.

BILL

Hey, when is your band playing here again? I forgot my calendar.

STEVE

Hello? We're playing here this Saturday. Man, no wonder you get crappy bands here. You forget them by the time they come back.

BILL

I was just wondering if I would need an extra bartender this weekend and it looks like I will since you guys have been drawing a better crowd lately.

STEVE

It was a magical thing we discovered called practice.

BILL

Well, it worked. You guys were slammin’ last time.

STEVE

Thanks man. Hey can I get a Burger and some Onion Rings?

BILL

You got it baby!

BILL turns to put the order into the computer and STEVE begins to participate in the trivia game. We begin to hear the questions.

JOHN THE TRIVIA GUY

(on mic)

Okay, new game. Please make sure your team name is at the bottom of your answer sheet. Question number one. Besides Oxygen and Nitrogen what is the most abundant element in the earth’s atmosphere?

STEVE knows this one and jots it down on his sheet. The girls next to him notice that he is quick with his answer and begin to peer over to his sheet then jot his answer on to theirs. STEVE notices and turns to the girls.

STEVE

Hey if you’re gonna use me like that you should at least buy me a drink.

JENNIFER

Well why don’t you join our team, cause we’re getting killed?

STEVE

(teasing)

Oh yeah, what’s in it for me?

JENNIFER

(returning the favor)

A chance to impress two lovely ladies.

STEVE

I thought I already did that with answer number one.

JENNIFER

Well you can continue to impress us by joining our team.

STEVE is obviously not bothered by the invitation.

STEVE

Okay I guess. Hi, my name’s Steve.

JENNIFER is the more traditionally pretty of the two but her friend has a hidden quality that makes her more attractive.

JENNIFER

Nice to meet you Steve. I’m Jen and my noisy friend is Suzanne.

SUZANNE

Hi!

STEVE is eager to impress the girls and tries to get back in to the game.

STEVE

Did we miss the next question?

JENNIFER

No, he’s just taking his time talking to that young lady over there.

STEVE turns to see JOHN THE TRIVIA GUY talking to an attractive young lady sitting at the end of the bar. He turns back to the girls

STEVE

Yeah, like he’s got any shot.

STEVE turns and shouts to JOHN THE TRIVIA GUY.

STEVE(cont'd)

Hey John, while we’re young!!

JOHN THE TRIVIA GUY turns and gives STEVE a quick look and looks to his clipboard for the next question

JOHN THE TRIVIA GUY

Okay, Question number two. Name the actor who played Thurston Howell the Third and also was the voice of Mister Magoo?

STEVE knows the answer and turns to JENNIFER so that she can write it on the answer sheet. He talks quietly so as not to be overheard.

STEVE

Jim Baccus

JENNIFER

Are you sure?

STEVE

When you grow up in Central New York there’s not much else to do during the winter except watch TV. And of the 4 channels we could get, one of them played Gilligan’s Island 6 times a day.

SUZANNE

You’re from New York?

STEVE

Well, I lived there for a few years. Not long enough to develop an accent. But long enough not to want to see another cow again, unless it’s on my plate of course.

BILL has arrived with Dan’s hamburger and onion rings.

STEVE

Hey, speak of the devil.

The girls laugh and BILL is left wondering if the jokes on him or not.

We see a montage of the team winning 4 prizes (pint glasses with beer logos) for the trivia contest and then pan across the bar at the number of trophies they have accumulated. They are all chatting now that the games have ended. STEVE has begun to take more of an interest in SUZANNE, as she appears to be a little more intelligent than JENNIFER is, and they share more of the same tastes. JENNIFER goes off to talk to someone else leaving SUZANNE and STEVE alone. JENNIFER's empty seat remains between them.

STEVE

Well, as you can see I’m filled with an unbelievable amount of useless knowledge.

SUZANNE

It wasn’t useless tonight.

STEVE

I guess not.

SUZANNE

So I guess you’re a regular here since everyone says hello and goodbye to you.

STEVE

Yeah, it's my Regal Beagle.

SUZANNE

What?

STEVE

You know, Three's company?

SUZANNE

(recollecting)

Oh yeah, you didn't have cable growing up did you?

STEVE

My folks thought it would encourage me to watch too much TV. Instead they encouraged me to watch too much bad TV.

SUZANNE

So you come here often then?

SUZANNE realizes that she just used a cliché. She is embarrassed and puts here hand to her face.

SUZANNE (cont'd)

God, that sounds like a bad pick-up line.

STEVE

That's okay. Well, it’s close to home and my band plays here every month.

SUZANNE

Oh, you’re in a band?

STEVE

It’s no big deal, just a bunch of college buddies who get together to play, drink and get away from their wives.

SUZANNE

Wait a minute, you’re married?

STEVE

Actually I’m the only bachelor in the band. That way I get all the groupies.

SUZANNE is intrigued and amused.

SUZANNE

Oh, you have groupies?

STEVE

No (beat) but when we get some they’re all mine.

SUZANNE

I don’t believe you. Hey Bartender!

BILL approaches from the end of the bar

BILL

What’s up?

SUZANNE

Is Steve here really in a band?

BILL

Yeah, they’re good too.

STEVE

Thanks buddy, looking for that bigger tip tonight?

BILL

Bet your ass.

BILL spots another customer waiting for a drink and walks away. SUZANNE is more interested.

SUZANNE

Cool. So when are you guys playing next?

STEVE

Actually we are playing here this Saturday. You should come out and see some of my other skills, other than useless knowledge.

SUZANNE

Maybe I will.

SUZANNE realizes she has forgotten to be cool for a second. She quickly puts up her guard again.

SUZANNE (cont'd)

I mean maybe Jen and I will come. I think we have another party we're going to but I’ll see if we can stop by.

STEVE

Cool. I hope you'll make it out.

STEVE looks at his watch and it reads 11:32. He realizes that he’ll be worth nothing tomorrow if he doesn’t get home to sleep. He puts down his drink, puts money on the bar for a tip and hops off his stool.

STEVE

Well Suzanne, I gotta get home but it was a pleasure meeting you and I hope to see you Saturday.

SUZANNE

Oh, leaving so soon?

STEVE

Yeah, gotta be somewhat functional in the morning. Take care. Oh, and tell your friend I said goodbye

SUZANNE

Okay, Bye!

STEVE leaves her thinking. And JENNIFER returns.

JENNIFER

Steve left?

SUZANNE is looking off into space thinking about STEVE.

SUZANNE

(looking into space)

Yeah!

JENNIFER

Hey, and he left us all the prizes. Cool!

SUZANNE pauses for a moment still staring into space and then snaps back to reality and turns to JENNIFER.

SUZANNE

What are you doing Saturday?

FADE TO:

INT. STEVE’S HOUSE - LATER THURSDAY NIGHT

We see the door open as STEVE steps into the main hallway, turns to remove his keys, locks the door again and shuts it behind him. He walks into the kitchen, tosses his keys on the table and hangs his coat on a chair. He walks over to the answering machine on the counter and sees that the light is flashing. He hits the button on the machine and we hear the tape rewind. The room is then filled with BRENDA’s voice.

BRENDA

(voice from answering machine)

Hey Steve it’s me. It’s like 8:15 but I guess you’re at the Village for trivia night. God you’re predictable. Give me a call if you don’t get in too late. I wanted to see what you’re doing tomorrow night. I need to get out of my house like normal human beings do. Oh well, call me! Bye!

We hear a triple beep on the machine indicating that this was the last message. STEVE picks up the cordless phone right next to the machine and hits a quick dial button. We hear the ringing of the person he’s calling, then it picks up. BRENDA sounds as if she was awakened by the call.

BRENDA

Hello?

STEVE

Hey baby I’m returning your call

BRENDA was definitely awakened by the call and is a little disoriented. We inter-cut between STEVE on the phone at his house and BRENDA on the phone in her bedroom.

BRENDA

Huh? I said only to call if it wasn’t too late Steve! It’s...

There is a pause as BRENDA looks towards here nightstand for the time.

BRENDA(cont'd)

...11:45!

STEVE

Hey that’s not too late for me. You know you’re really going to have to qualify your statements better when you leave me messages.

BRENDA

God you’re an asshole. Why do I bother calling you!

STEVE

Because I’m the only person you think is more pathetic than yourself and it makes you feel better to see me miserable in my pathetic life or you’re still deeply infatuated with me and long for me to come over and get busy with you all night long. Speaking of that, what are you wearing right now?

BRENDA

Yeah, like I would tell you. Besides, I think it’s more like the first one.

STEVE

Oh, no longer am I the pathetic loser I was earlier this week.

BRENDA

Oh, and why not?

STEVE

Because I just met a girl.

BRENDA

Are you sure she was a girl?

STEVE

100 percent.

BRENDA

What happened to you swearing off women?

STEVE

I’m off the wagon now baby!

BRENDA

Wow, she must be some girl. So talk. What’s her story?

STEVE

She’s nice, smart, not like the traditionally beautiful type but you know the kind of girl that I like.

BRENDA

Big boobs, huh?

STEVE

No, not really that’s the strange thing. She’s exactly not my ideal girl, which is perfect.

BRENDA

Quite a 360 for you!

STEVE

Actually it’s a 180. If it were a 360 I’d be facing the same direction. I hate when people use expressions they don’t understand

BRENDA

Sorry, I’ll work on that. So did you get digits?

STEVE

No.

BRENDA

Did you ask her out?

STEVE

No.

BRENDA

So you have no idea when or where you’re gonna see this girl again?

STEVE

I invited her out to the show Saturday night.

BRENDA

Oh and you expect her to sit at the front table adoring you all night.

STEVE

It would be nice, but no. I just wanted to play it a little cool. I always jump right in and look like an ass.

BRENDA

That’s what guys are supposed to do, that’s why it’s so much fun for us.

STEVE

Well, not this time sister. She’s coming to me.

BRENDA

I hope so. So what are we doing tomorrow?

STEVE

I was thinking, dinner, movie and then hot sex.

BRENDA

Well, you’ll get two-thirds of that.

STEVE

Okay, forget the movie, the lines are always too long anyway!

BRENDA is fed up but amused.

BRENDA

I'm sure! I’ll talk to you tomorrow!

STEVE

(laughing)

All right baby, goodnight!

STEVE hangs up the phone still amused and walks towards the camera on his way to the stairs.

STEVE

(to himself)

I thought it was very amusing

STEVE hits the kitchen light and heads towards us on his way to the stairs.

fade TO:

EXT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN - SATURDAY NIGHT

The parking lot is filled with cars. Several people are approaching the building and heading in the door.

CUT TO:

INT. The Village Tavern - Saturday Night

Close-up of a guitarist’s fingers as he plays a bluesy solo. We zoom out to reveal that it is STEVE playing the solo. We cut between shots of the band members playing "Sweet Home Chicago" and shots of the people at the tables and bar talking, drinking and enjoying themselves. The song finishes to a loud round of applause. STEVE addresses the crowd on mic from the stage.

STEVE

Thank you very much. We’re gonna take a little break. But stick around ‘cause we’ll be back. Thanks again!

The applause continues and fades into the din of bar noise. The jukebox kicks on while the band takes a break. STEVE shakes hands with the other band members saying "Nice set" and other small talk. STEVE steps to the end of the stage and gives one more glance while he’s at the heightened position to survey the bar for signs of SUZANNE. He is visually disappointed but not completely bummed out. He notices BRENDA and DAVE at the bar and steps down to join them. BRENDA hands STEVE a drink.

BRENDA

You guys sound great tonight. What happened?

STEVE

Thanks a lot.

STEVE totally ignores here back-handed compliment, turns to DAVE and offers him a handshake.

STEVE

Hey man, I didn’t think you were coming out tonight. I guess there were enough girls your age here tonight, eh?

DAVE

Nah, Brenda dragged me out. I just can’t say no to a woman who’s as desperate as she is.

BRENDA turns to DAVE with severe attitude and smacks his arm. DAVE feigns that he is seriously injured by her attack.

BRENDA

Fuck you! I was doing you a favor, be careful it may be the last.

STEVE

(jokingly)

All right. Don’t make me separate you two. I’ll catch you in a bit. I gotta take care of some business.

STEVE walks past his friends and heads for the bathrooms, which are on the other side of the bar’s main lobby. STEVE continues to search the bar for SUZANNE but there is no sign of her.

FADE TO:

INT. The Village Tavern - LATER Saturday Night

STEVE and the band are on stage playing their last set. STEVE has seemingly resigned himself that SUZANNE will be a "no show" for tonight as is enjoying jamming with his buddies. STEVE is singing a song as he spots SUZANNE and JENNIFER walk in to the back bar area. He makes eye contact with SUZANNE for a split-second, cracks a smile and breaks away from the microphone for a guitar solo. SUZANNE and JENNIFER take seats that have just become available at the bar and order a drink. The band plays a few more songs, which we fade through, and ends the night with a ripping version of the Beatles’ "Hard Day’s Night." The crowd applauds, loudly yelling for more.

STEVE steps off the stage and heads directly for BRENDA and DAVE who are about 10 feet down the bar from SUZANNE and JENNIFER trying to play it cool and avoid SUZANNE for a minute or so.

STEVE

Hey, play it cool, but she’s here.

BRENDA

Where?

STEVE

Five seats down, in the pink sweater.

BRENDA and DAVE totally ignore STEVE’s instructions and turn to look at SUZANNE. Luckily she has turned to talk to JENNIFER. STEVE grabs them both by the soldier.

STEVE

Will you guys calm down please?

DAVE

She’s cute man, but I like the friend better.

STEVE

(Sarcastically)

Great, I’ll see if we can double date sometime.

BRENDA

So, what are you waiting for?

STEVE

Well, she was playing it cool by coming in during the last set, so I’m gonna play it cool and bullshit with you guys for a while

BRENDA

Oh, grow up please.

STEVE

I didn’t make the rules up but I gotta play the game

DAVE

I’m behind you buddy, you sit back here and make her sweat.

BRENDA

Don’t encourage him please!

DAVE

Hey if he’s gonna get me a date with her friend, I’m behind him all the way. (To STEVE) I'll be your wingman any time.

DAVE offers his hand to STEVE. STEVE pauses amused by the situation and then shakes his hand.

STEVE

(sarcastic)

So glad to have your undying support.

STEVE raises his hand and motions to BILL to get his attention.

STEVE

Hey Bill!

BILL

Yeah man!

BILL approaches STEVE at the bar

STEVE

Gimme another and buy those two ladies a round on me.

BILL

You got it man!

STEVE smiles very happy with himself. BRENDA rolls her eyes and DAVE gives STEVE a little "thumbs-up" sign behind her back. STEVE then turns casually and walks towards the girls. He makes his way down the bar dodging a glance from SUZANNE while attempting to sneak up on her. He is just behind them when BILL walks up with their drinks and puts them on the bar in front of them.

BILL

These are from the gentleman.

SUZANNE

Which one?

BILL points past them and we turn to see that STEVE is directly behind them smiling. SUZANNE is trying to be cool and acts as if this is a coincidence.

SUZANNE

Oh, Hi! I forgot your band was playing here tonight.

STEVE looks at JENNIFER a little shocked. But JENNIFER leans in to break SUZANNE's story.

JENNIFER

Yeah right! It’s all you talked about yesterday.

SUZANNE playfully hits JENNIFER in the arm.

SUZANNE

Shut up!

SUZANNE turns back to STEVE

SUZANNE(cont'd)

Okay, so I was looking forward to it.

STEVE

That’s okay, I was thinking you weren’t going to show. Trying to be ultra-fashionably late?

SUZANNE

Well Jen was running late from work and I didn’t want to go without her.

JENNIFER

Sorry, not all of us have those cushy 9 to 5 jobs.

STEVE

Well, that’s all right you’re here now.

STEVE raises his glass, and the girls raise theirs to meet his. They drink.

FADE TO:

INT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN - SATURDAY NIGHT after closing

From overhead we see Bill cleaning up behind the bar. Only STEVE and SUZANNE remain at a table while DAVE and JENNIFER talk at the otherwise empty bar.

SUZANNE

Don’t they normally kick you guys out of here by now?

STEVE

Nah, We’ve helped Bill close this bar more times than I can count.

SUZANNE

What are you an alcoholic?

STEVE

(laughs)

No, alcoholics go to meetings. I'm just a drunk.

STEVE pauses for a reaction, doesn't get the laugh he wanted. SUZANNE is not sure if this is a joke or not.

SUZANNE

That's nice.

STEVE tries to make a quick recovery and laughs off her reaction.

STEVE

Apparently you're not a fan of my addiction humor. Actually I’m usually just waiting around to sober up so I can drive Dave home.

SUZANNE

Some designated driver.

STEVE

Yeah, well I take my job very seriously.

SUZANNE

So tell me about your buddy Dave. Is Jen okay with him?

STEVE

Sure, I mean I got my eye on him to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.

SUZANNE

That’s not what I meant.

STEVE

What did you mean?

SUZANNE

I meant if I was to leave here with you and have your buddy take care of her would she be okay?

STEVE is much more positive now; given the opportunity he has been granted.

STEVE

Sure! You kidding? He’s a total Boy Scout.

SUZANNE

(laughing)

I figured you say that.

STEVE

No, seriously, she'll be fine. (beat) I really like you a lot. But I don’t want to rush in to the whole back to my place thing.

SUZANNE

(Jokingly acting shocked)

What do you think of me? I was just looking maybe to go somewhere else to get a cup of coffee or something.

STEVE

Well, I don’t drink coffee. But I’m sure I can think of something.

STEVE turns towards the bar where DAVE is seated with JENNIFER.

STEVE

Dave!

DAVE turns from his conversation with JENNIFER.

DAVE

Yeah?

STEVE

Jen’s your ride. We’re gonna go hit the Diner.

DAVE

Well, I’m kinda hungry too.

STEVE

Well, maybe you can talk Jen in to bringing your ass to Denny’s.

DAVE looks at JENNIFER and she smiles encouragingly. They turn back to STEVE who is putting on his coat and walking towards them at the bar.

JENNIFER

I think we’ll figure something out.

STEVE and SUZANNE say goodbye to DAVE and JENNIFER at the bar and STEVE turns to BILL.

STEVE

BILL thanks for letting us hang man!

BILL

Anytime buddy! I’ll see you next time!

STEVE

Late!

STEVE grabs SUZANNE’s hand and leads her out through the front bar and out the door.

CUT TO:

EXT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN - SATURDAY NIGHT after closing

STEVE and SUZANNE walk hand-in-hand towards STEVE's car.

SUZANNE

Gee, I think Jen really likes your buddy Dave?

STEVE

What kind of guys does she usually go for?

SUZANNE

She always goes for the guys with low self-esteem who kiss her ass for even talking to them.

STEVE stops in the parking lot and looks at SUZANNE. Then he glances through the front window of the bar and sees Jen and Dave kissing at the bar.

STEVE

Well, maybe she really does like him then.

They share a laugh and approach STEVE’s car. STEVE unlocks her car door and lets her in. He walks around the back of the car and peers through the back window and watches as SUZANNE reaches over to unlock his door.

STEVE

(to himself)

Yes!

STEVE gets in the car and looks at her. He smiles as he puts the key in the ignition and starts the car.

SUZANNE

What?

STEVE

Did you ever see the movie, A Bronx Tale?

SUZANNE

(completely unaware)

No. Why?

STEVE

Nothing, never mind.

STEVE throws the car in to reverse, backs up, and then they drive away.

FADE TO:

EXT. SUZANNE’S APARTMENT - Near SUNRISE, SUNDAY

STEVE and SUZANNE are in the car and they have both become awkwardly quiet.

STEVE

Well, here we are.

SUZANNE

Here we are.

Suddenly, the mood gets a little heavier in the car as STEVE and SUZANNE are anxious about how the night will end. STEVE breaks the silence.

STEVE

We’ve been talking all night without a break. So either this means there’s some new tension in the air or we’ve simply run out of things to say.

SUZANNE

Well, I’ve got something to say.

STEVE

I'm all ears.

SUZANNE

I had a great time tonight and I don’t want it to end. So, do you wanna come upstairs?

STEVE pauses. SUZANNE waits for his answer and appears very nervous. She doesn't wait any longer. She leans in and kisses STEVE. STEVE returns her kiss and they continue to make out. They stop and look into each other’s eyes. STEVE's gaze drops.

STEVE

I’d love to, but...

SUZANNE

But what?

STEVE

I just don’t want to rush it. But I had a really great time tonight.

SUZANNE is disappointed.

SUZANNE

Are you sure?

STEVE

Yes. (beat) I’m sure I’ll kick myself when I get home, but I shouldn’t.

SUZANNE

Okay, I understand.

She leans in again and they begin to make out again. SUZANNE then pulls away and opens her door, stepping out.

SUZANNE

Well, I better go.

STEVE doesn't want to end the night on a down note.

STEVE

Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?

SUZANNE

Today is tomorrow.

STEVE

Okay, what are you doing later today?

SUZANNE

(Breaking a smile)

Waiting for you to call.

STEVE

Well it helps if I have your number.

SUZANNE

Don’t worry you’ll find it. Goodnight!

SUZANNE closes the door giggling and runs up the stairs to her apartment. STEVE is left wondering what she meant by that. He starts searching her seat and on the floor but doesn’t find anything. He sits back in his seat and ponders. He looks up at her visor and sees a little white piece of paper peering out of the visor. He pulls the visor down and finds her business card. He flips it over and it reads, "Congratulations! Call Me (215) 555-9826." STEVE smiles, puts the card in his shirt pocket and drives away. The sun is starting to come out. They have been out all night.

FADE TO:

INT. STEVE's BEDROOM - EarLY SUNDAY AFTERNOON

We pan from STEVE's window to his bed. STEVE is waking up from the sun shining through his window. It is a beautiful day outside but STEVE has missed a lot of it. He sits up in bed and rubs his eyes. He reaches for the remote control and turns the TV in his room on to MTV. The Real World is on but not for long as he changes the channel to VH1. Behind The Music is on.

STEVE

(to himself)

Doesn't anyone play videos anymore?

STEVE finally settles on a news station and gets out of bed. He gets as far as his dresser and reaches over to inspect the card SUZANNE left for him earlier that morning. He can't keep the grin of his face. He then breaks out in to a freestyle dance move, which looks extremely amusing considering he's only wearing boxer shorts and a t-shirt. He stops and puts the card back on the dresser and heads for the bathroom. He throws in another move along the way.

fADE TO:

INT. SUZANNE'S BEDROOM - early SUNDAY afternoon

SUZANNE has already taken a shower and is wearing a bathrobe. She is sitting at her mirror drying and brushing her hair. The phone rings. She smiles thinking that it's STEVE. She turns the blow dryer off and grabs the cordless telephone from the nightstand.

SUZANNE

Hello?

JENNIFER

Good Morning!

SUZANNE

(Disappointed)

Oh, hi.

JENNIFER

Wow, I guess I don't have to ask how you're night was.

SUZANNE

No, it was great. I just thought that you were him calling.

JENNIFER

I thought maybe I'd call and get your machine, if you know what I mean.

SUZANNE

I tried, but he wanted to wait.

JENNIFER

Is he human?

SUZANNE

Apparently not. But I won't let him pull that again. How about you? Are you calling from Dave's.

JENNIFER

No, I figured I'd make him wait. But it took a lot of self-control.

CUT TO:

INT. JENNIFER'S BEDROOM - early SUNDAY afternoon

We start with a medium shot of JENNIFER still in bed.

SUZANNE

I'm proud of you. I wasn't strong enough.

JENNIFER

Well, I try not to make it too easy.

We zoom out to reveal that DAVE is asleep in bed next to JENNIFER. He obviously spent the night. The room is in disarray, clothes are thrown about the room and only one bedsheet covers the two of them in bed.

JENNIFER (cont'd)

So, what are you doing tonight?

SUZANNE

Hopefully, Steve will call and we'll go out. After last night I'm pretty sure he will.

JENNIFER

Well alright! Imagine that, both of us, desperate but unfulfilled. Too bad.

DAVE stirs next to her and can be heard.

SUZANNE

What was that?

JENNIFER

(quickly)

Oh, just the TV. (beat) I'll let you go. Let me know how things go with Steve.

SUZANNE

Okay, bye.

They both hang up. DAVE gets up and looks at JENNIFER.

DAVE

Good morning beautiful.

JENNIFER

More like good afternoon darling.

DAVE leans over and gives JENNIFER a short kiss on the lips.

DAVE

Wow, what time is it?

JENNIFER

I don't know. Somehow we managed to rip the clock out of the wall last night.

DAVE

Really? Well let's see if we can get that plugged in again.

DAVE leans in and kisses her deeply. They start getting more passionate. JENNIFER's tries to resist but her cool is lost. She's in.

JENNIFER

Okay, three times ties the record for me.

DAVE

Records were made to be broken.

They embrace again beginning another session.

FADE TO:

INT. RESTAURANT - SUNDAY NIGHT

STEVE and SUZANNE are sitting at a table finishing their salads in a solarium style eating area. The parking lot can be seen outside the window. Occasionally headlights shine through the window at them.

STEVE

I can't believe Dave and Jen are digging each other. We can all double date now. It's a regular teen drama around here.

SUZANNE

Yes, very Saved By The Bell.

STEVE

Do you see me as Slater or Zack?

SUZANNE

Oh, you're a definite Zack.

STEVE

You'd just rather be Tiffani-Amber Thiessen than Elizabeth Berkley.

SUZANNE

Maybe, especially after Showgirls. At least Tiffani made it to 90210.

STEVE

Yeah, but she was a bad girl.

SUZANNE

How do you know I'm not?

STEVE

I don't, but how do you know I'm not the tough Slater-type.

SUZANNE

I just can't imagine you wearing the baggy pants like he did.

STEVE

Glad to hear it's just the fashion-sense that separates us.

SUZANNE

Well, that and the jock attitude.

STEVE

I played ice hockey for a couple years.

SUZANNE

Well, I played field hockey.

STEVE

Really? I always liked girls in knee socks and plaid skirts.

SUZANNE

I'll remember that.

STEVE

So will I.

The waitress walks up to the table with their entrees.

FADE TO:

BEGIN 1ST DATE MONTAGE SEQUENCE WITH MUSIC

EXT. MOVIE THEATRE - SUNDAY evening

STEVE and SUZANNE are at the ticket counter. STEVE is eyeing the action and comedy movies while SUZANNE is looking for the "chic-flicks." They end up seeing the movie she wants to see. STEVE feigns that he is really excited about seeing this movie.

CUT TO:

INT. MOVIE THEATRE - SUNDAY NIGHT

STEVE is trying to pay attention to the movie. He can't stop looking over to stare at SUZANNE. She notices and looks back, smiles and then gives him a short kiss. Then she turns her attention back to the screen. STEVE smiles then reaches down and slowly creeps to her hand. Before he reaches it, she lifts her hand to brush her hair back then drops her hand back on top of STEVE's grabbing it firmly. She turns and smiles at him again. She knew all along what he was trying to do.

CUT TO:

EXT. MOVIE THEATRE PARKING LOT - SUNDAY late night

STEVE and SUZANNE are walking to his car holding hands. SUZANNE stops and notices her shoe is untied. STEVE looks down and before she can kneel down to tie the shoe STEVE drops to his knee to tie it for her. She is crushed. He stands up and we see her mouth, "Thank you." STEVE says, "Your Welcome." STEVE then turns around and uses the painted white line of the parking lot as a mock tightrope. He pretends to lose his balance and almost fall. SUZANNE laughs and then joins him.

FADE TO:

END 1st date MONTAGE SEQUENCE WITH MUSIC

EXT. SUZANNE'S APARTMENT - LATE SUNDAY NIGHT

STEVE's car pulls up to the apartment and stops at the curb in front of SUZANNE's apartment.

CUT TO:

INT. STEVE'S CAR - late SUNDAY NIGHT

SUZANNE

Well, here we are again.

STEVE

Yep!

SUZANNE

Now, would you like to come up?

STEVE

(playful)

You know it is Sunday, I have to work tomorrow.

SUZANNE

Oh my God! I don’t think I can take continued rejection like this. You’re gonna give me a complex.

STEVE

Well, I guess I could go in just to make sure there aren’t any intruders or anything like that.

SUZANNE is a tired of STEVE's excuses and pokes fun at him.

SUZANNE

(sarcastic)

Right, cause this is a really high crime area

STEVE

Okay, no need for an excuse. I’m coming up!

SUZANNE

(exasperated)

Thank God!

STEVE and SUZANNE get out of the car. STEVE pauses at the back of the car. SUZANNE grabs his hand and leads him up the stairs.

SUZANNE

(playful but seductive)

Come on!

SUZANNE unlocks the door and they enter the apartment. We see lights go on full in the apartment. They stay bright for a few seconds then the lights are dimmed.

FADE TO:

INT. STEVE’S HOUSE - MONDAY MORNING

STEVE is watching TV while sitting on his couch. The phone rings and he answer’s it.

STEVE

Hello.

BRENDA

(on phone)

Hey what’s up, you’re not at work today. Are you sick?

STEVE

Oh, are those maternal instincts kicking in? No, I just didn’t feel like coming in today.

BRENDA

Things didn’t go well with your girl the other night?

STEVE

Actually the reason I didn’t feel like coming in today was that I was over her place real late last night.

BRENDA

You dog! Don’t tell me she surrendered already?

STEVE

I tell no tales! Let’s just say that we have become very close in the past 48 hours.

BRENDA

Oh boy! You’re in love!

STEVE

Let’s not use the L-word just yet okay. I’m just gonna say that I’m currently very pleased with our relationship progress so far.

BRENDA

Wow! I want details!

STEVE

Too bad baby! It’s not gonna happen.

BRENDA

Well, then what’s she like?

STEVE

She’s great! I mean, she’s smart, beautiful and she’s a really good person. You know, she’s everything I’m not.

BRENDA

Listen to you! You must have gotten some cause you’re talking like a chick.

STEVE

You’re just mad cause I never talked that way about you.

BRENDA

Yeah well, you’re a lucky man. How did Dave do after I left?

STEVE

I don’t know. I haven’t talked to him since Saturday. But when I left he was getting pretty close with Suzanne’s friend Jen.

BRENDA

Wow, the two of you scoring on the same night. Must have been a full moon.

STEVE

Looks like you’re the only one who went home alone.

BRENDA

Thanks for reminding me. Well, I guess you’re gonna see her tonight?

STEVE

No, I told her we should take a night off.

BRENDA

Oh good. I’ll pick up some dinner for both of us and stop over later then.

STEVE

Okay, I just got some new movies so you can pick one to watch if you want.

BRENDA

Cool, you know how I love your home theatre.

STEVE

Hey I can’t help that I'm in to my media!

BRENDA

All right, I’ll see you in a couple of hours.

STEVE

Okay, (beat) hey! No Chinese food!

BRENDA

Fine! Goodbye!

STEVE

Bye!

STEVE hangs up the phone, sighs contently and switches the channel with his remote.

CUT TO:

INT. BENNIGAN'S RESTAURANT - SATURDAY AFTERNOON

Kids mill around the waiting area. Their parents sit on the seats waiting for a table. One kid is begging his mother for a quarter to play the video game while they wait.

KID

C'mon Mom, just one game?

MOTHER

No, we're gonna be sitting in a minute and I don't want to be waiting for you.

KID

That sucks!

MOTHER

(sternly)

What did I tell you about using that kind of language?

KID

That only dumb people use those words because they're not smart enough to find better words to use.

MOTHER

That's right. Do you wanna sound like an idiot?

CUT TO:

INT. BENNIGAN'S RESTAURANT BAR - SATURDAY AFTERNOON

STEVE and DAVE are sitting at the bar watching the Philadelphia Flyers hockey game. he bar is busy but not crowded.

DAVE

Man, these guys suck! What happened? Did someone forget their wake up call?

DAVE yells at the TV as if the players could hear him through it.

DAVE(cont'd)

Hit Him!

STEVE

They’re playing like a bunch of little bitches! They should change the standard uniform to a skirt.

DAVE

We gotta get down to a game this year.

STEVE

What, so you can berate them in person for 80 bucks? That's a little too much to pay for a show I can see for free right here.

DAVE

And don’t forget to add in the five-dollar beers.

Dave grabs a handful of popcorn from the basket on the bar and non-chalantly changes the subject.

DAVE

Hey, did you get some off that Suzanne chick last Saturday?

STEVE

Why, did you get some off Jen?

DAVE

I asked you first.

STEVE

She offered, but I told her I wanted to wait.

DAVE

Who’s the bitch now?

STEVE

Fuck you man! I actually care about this girl. I didn’t want to bring up to that level that first night.

DAVE

Man, I don’t know how you do it, or why for that matter. Why wait?

STEVE

It’s called respect dude, and you know me. I’m all about respect.

DAVE

Respect my ass. It’s all part of your game.

STEVE

Oh, like I’m involved in some no first-date-sex conspiracy.

DAVE

I just don’t get that. The girl asks you to have sex. You didn’t even have to beg.

STEVE

Hey, just cause you’re not as fortunate as I am.

DAVE

Who says so?

STEVE

Don’t tell me Jen gave you some lovin’.

DAVE

Damn right!

STEVE

Man, I hope you called her afterwards.

DAVE

Well, I kinda had to.

STEVE turns to look at DAVE not understanding what he means.

DAVE

Because that girl’s body’s like heroine man. I can’t get enough!

DAVE pulls up his sleeve and taps his inner arm mimicking the motions of a junkie preparing to shoot up.

STEVE

What a romantic.

DAVE

Hey just cause I said she's great in bed doesn’t mean I don’t really like her. I just don’t know if she likes me enough.

STEVE

Well how couldn’t she? (beat) So I take it you’ve seen her since Saturday.

DAVE

Every night this week.

STEVE

Holy shit! I was wondering why you didn’t call me. So why aren’t you with her now?

DAVE

She had to work. She said she’d page me when she was done.

STEVE

That must be some good lovin’. That girl’s got the pager number so she can summon her boy whenever she wants. So why don’t you get serious with this girl?

DAVE

We just haven’t had time to talk about it. I never had a relationship with a girl who loves sex as much as I do. The girl needs it man.

DAVE makes a fist to emphasize that Jen "loves sex."

STEVE

Well I’m happy for you, (beat) for both of you. (beat) So if you've got a girl why are we watching the game here instead of the Village?

DAVE

Well, I know Hobie will be there.

STEVE

Yeah, so?

DAVE

I owe him money.

STEVE

He schooled you on the video golf game again didn't he?

DAVE

Nah, that machine's fucked up. One putt cost me twenty bucks.

STEVE

So, I'm watching the Flyers at some lame theme restaurant because you can't sink a putt on a video game.

DAVE

Sad to say. (beat) So where’s Suzanne tonight? She dump you when you rejected her?

STEVE

Nah, she said she had a previous engagement tonight.

DAVE

What kind of engagement?

STEVE

I don’t know. She said she had to do something for her mother.

The crowd all cheers and rises as the Flyers score a goal on TV. The bartender is going down the bar "high-fiving" patrons.

STEVE

Finally!

DAVE

Yeah baby, Love John LeClair!

STEVE

One - Nil, One - Nil!

We see DAVE look down to his belt as his beeper is going off. He grabs it off his belt and looks at the number. A smile comes to his face.

DAVE

School’s out baby!

STEVE

Nice! Well you better run, you don’t want to miss a chance at getting your fix.

DAVE

Damn right! I’ll be back in a minute!

DAVE heads out of frame to the pay phone to call JENNIFER.

STEVE

(shakes his head)

That’s a damn shame!

STEVE is finishing his drink and looks down the bar. From his seat he can see the restaurant lobby where he sees SUZANNE with another man being lead by the hostess to a table in the restaurant section. He gets up and walks in to the lobby where DAVE is making his phone call. DAVE sees STEVE and seems to empathize with him with his facial expression. He saw SUZANNE but she did not notice him. STEVE walks down the hall and peers around the corner to see SUZANNE sitting with another man ordering drinks from the waitress. He looks for a second and then turns away, walks past DAVE, who is just finishing his call, and heads directly in to the men’s room.

DAVE

(on the phone)

I'll see you in a little bit.

DAVE hangs up the pay phone and follows STEVE in to the bathroom.

CUT TO:

INT. BENNIGAN's BATHROOM - SATURDAY AFTERNOON

STEVE is leaning on the sink with his head down. DAVE enters.

DAVE

All right Steve, take it easy. We don’t know the situation here.

STEVE

Well, my mother never asked me to take some guy out as a favor, so I’m thinking she lied to me.

DAVE

How do you know that’s not her brother out there? You don’t know the situation, so don’t jump to conclusions here.

STEVE stands up, looks in the mirror and then looks to DAVE.

STEVE

You’re right. I’ll just walk out there and ask her what’s going on.

STEVE starts to head to the door. DAVE grabs his arm to hold him back.

DAVE

Hold on! That ain’t the move man. You have to calm down and get out of here. Go home. Go the Village. But don’t cause a scene like that could create. You’ve only known this girl a week.

STEVE comes to his senses, seemingly liberated by DAVE's last statement and looks at himself in the bathroom mirror.

STEVE

You’re right. We’re not exclusive. She can go out if she wants to.

DAVE encourages his mood change.

DAVE

Right. It’s not like you slept with her?

This breaks the momentum. STEVE turns to DAVE

STEVE

I did sleep with her.

DAVE is taken aback.

DAVE

What, you said you didn’t.

STEVE

We went out Sunday night too. We ended up back at her place.

DAVE

Oh. (beat) Well, it’s still not like marriage or anything

STEVE

Yeah, and I can go out and hook-up if I want to.

DAVE

(more encouraging)

Right.

STEVE

I could go out...

A male patron opens the bathroom door and begins to enter.

STEVE(cont'd)

...and fuck anything that moves!

DAVE

Right!

The man doesn't even have both feet in to the room. He looks at the two of them, says nothing, and then turns and walks back out. They both look to the door and then at each other. They break out in laughter at the hilarity of the situation.

STEVE

(getting serious)

Thanks man, you’re a good friend. Let’s get outta here and go to the Village. I'll cover you if we run in to Hobie.

DAVE

Uh, sorry. I’m going to see Jen. Gotta get my fix.

DAVE slaps his arm again like a junkie tapping for a vein.

STEVE

Way to be there for me.

DAVE

Hey, I came in here after you didn’t I.

STEVE smiles and they walk out of the bathroom towards the bar.

DAVE

If you run in to Hobie could you still cover me?

His smile fades as he glances back towards the dining room. We can see SUZANNE in the background with her date talking to the waitress.

FADE TO:

INT. STEVE’S HOUSE - STEVE's BEDROOM LATER THAT NIGHT

STEVE is in bed watching TV. The phone rings and STEVE checks the caller ID. It's SUZANNE. He pauses and then picks up the phone.

STEVE

(unenthusiastic)

Hello.

SUZANNE

(on the phone)

Hello, how you doing?

STEVE is trying to restrain himself.

STEVE

Fine, how was your mother?

SUZANNE

My mother? Oh, that was fine.

STEVE

Really, what kind of favor did you have to do for her, babysit?

SUZANNE

No, she needed help with, uh, church stuff?

STEVE can't hold back.

STEVE

Look, Suzanne I know we’ve only being seeing each other for a week now, but I hate when people lie to me. Especially someone I'm dating.

SUZANNE

What do you mean?

STEVE

I saw you at Bennigan's with that other guy!

SUZANNE

Oh, God.

STEVE

Now I know we never talked about being anything exclusive, but I was hoping that you were feeling like I was. Obviously I was wrong and that’s a shame.

SUZANNE

Wait, let me explain.

STEVE

Promise you won’t lie? If you’ve got an explanation, please I want to hear it. But don’t lie to me.

SUZANNE

Technically I didn’t lie.

STEVE

Oh, technically!

SUZANNE

Let me finish. My mother set me up with this guy a month ago. He goes to her church and she thought he was a nice guy. I agreed to go out with him to get her off my back. I totally forgot about it until yesterday when she called and she didn’t let me get a word in to tell her about you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the other day, but things were going so well, I didn’t want to ruin it.

STEVE

Well, you did ruin it. Trust is very important to me. People throw the word love around so much these days that it almost doesn’t mean anything. But, trust isn’t a word that people use that way. That’s because it’s more important.

SUZANNE

What are you saying?

STEVE

I’m saying I don’t know what to do here. I like you a lot Suzanne, but you’ve already lied to me. I want to be able to trust you.

SUZANNE

I’m sorry. This was a one-time thing I couldn't get out of. Look, I really care about you Steve and I don’t want to stop this. Can you forgive me?

STEVE is relieved and is lightening up.

STEVE

I guess. You mother didn’t hook you up with any other guys did she?

SUZANNE

No!

STEVE

And I’m guessing that this guy didn’t charm the pants off you?

SUZANNE

Sure he did, but he wasn’t that good in bed, so I want to stay with you.

STEVE

What?

SUZANNE

I’m kidding. The guy was a total square. He was telling me about his bible study classes and all that stuff. The guy gave me a lecture about the evils of alcohol when I ordered a beer.

STEVE

Well, he’s right. That beer is the devil’s handiwork.

SUZANNE

I drank it just to spite him. I should have ordered a shot. Did you see what he was wearing?

STEVE

Okay, enough about this guy. Look, I’m tired and I was going to go to sleep.

SUZANNE

You want some company?

STEVE

(playfully)

I don’t know I’m kinda tired.

SUZANNE

I see. You want me to beg.

STEVE

Like a dog.

SUZANNE

Steve, can I please come over there and let you have your way with me all night long?

STEVE

Well, (beat) you did say please.

SUZANNE

Yes I did.

STEVE

All right, get your ass over here.

SUZANNE

Is that the only part you want?

STEVE

No, but I figured the rest of you would be attached. And wear something nice.

SUZANNE

Ooh, jealousy brings out the pervert in you. So what do you want? Rubber? Vinyl? Leather?

STEVE

Didn’t you tell me you went to catholic school?

SUZANNE

Yeah, why?

STEVE

You still got your uniform?

SUZANNE is a little shocked by the request.

SUZANNE

Hello!

She then sounds intrigued.

SUZANNE (cont'd)

You know I think I do. Penny loafers or saddle shoes?

STEVE

I’m all about the saddle shoes.

SUZANNE

I would have never thought you’d go for that.

STEVE

I would have never thought you had a choice of rubber, vinyl or leather outfits. What can I say? Four years at parochial school can do strange things to a man.

SUZANNE

Gimme a half-hour.

STEVE

Baby, if you look right in that outfit I’ll only need half a minute.

SUZANNE

I like knowing your weaknesses.

STEVE

Hey, every man has his kryptonite.

SUZANNE

I’ll see you soon.

STEVE

Bye!

STEVE hangs up the phone and immediately calls DAVE. The phone rings three times and the answering machine picks up.

DAVE

(voice on machine)

Hi! I’m not home now. So, leave a message after the tone and I’ll call you back... if you’re worthy!

The greeting ends with a beep and STEVE leaves his message.

STEVE

Dave! It’s Steve. Everything’s cool man it was all a misunderstanding. Man I think I could love this girl.

CUT TO:

INT. DAVE’S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

DAVE is having sex with JENNIFER in the bedroom. We focus on the answering machine but we can see them out of focus in the bedroom. DAVE is on top of JENNIFER doing the deed. The door is open and they can hear the message in his room. STEVE's voice emits from the answering machine speaker.

STEVE (cont'd)

The stiff at Bennigan's was some date her mother set her up with. This girl is so into me she’s coming over here in a Catholic School uniform for me.

CUT TO:

INT. DAVE'S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - NIGHT

Close-up of DAVE face who stops what he’s doing and looks at the machine.

DAVE

That lucky bastard!

STEVE (cont'd)

(off-camera answering machine)

Just wanted to keep you updated man. See ya!

We hear STEVE hang-up and the machine shut off. DAVE’s face still in disbelief is looking at the machine. JENNIFER’s hand comes in to frame to grab DAVE’s face and turn his attention back to her.

JENNIFER

(voice off camera)

You know, I have one of those outfits too.

DAVE smiles and goes back to work, dropping out of frame. We zoom into a picture on DAVE’s wall of his high school class. It is a Catholic School picture with boys in shirt and tie and the girls wearing white shirts and plaid skirts.

JENNIFER (cont'd)

(voice off camera)

God, you men are so easy!

FADE TO:

INT. STEVE’S HOUSE - DEN - THE NEXT DAY (SUNDAY)

STEVE is on the couch and SUZANNE sits on the floor with her body between STEVE's legs. STEVE is wearing sweatpants and a Lycoming College sweatshirt. SUZANNE is wearing one of STEVE’s t-shirts and boxer shorts, which we can't see because of the blanket she has wrapped around her legs. STEVE is playing with her hair while they watch TV. They are much more comfortable with each other. Off camera someone is knocking on the front door.

STEVE

Who is it?

We hear BRENDA through the door.

BRENDA

Avon calling!

STEVE

Hey, come on in!

BRENDA walks in through the kitchen.

BRENDA

Hey Steve!

STEVE

Hey!

BRENDA then steps in to the room and notices that SUZANNE is there. She is suddenly uncomfortable.

BRENDA

Oh, hi! I’m sorry I didn’t know you had company.

STEVE

Brenda, you remember Suzanne from last weekend.

BRENDA

(very uncomfortable)

Yeah, hi!

SUZANNE

Hello.

STEVE

So what’s up?

SUZANNE

Nothing, I was just heading over to the driving range and wanted to know if you wanted to join me. I guess you’re busy.

STEVE

Yeah, I think so.

SUZANNE smiles at BRENDA. BRENDA tries not to act upset.

BRENDA

Okay, well, I gotta go practice. Spring league starts next week. I’ll see you tomorrow at work.

BRENDA turns to SUZANNE with a slight but noticeable attitude.

STEVE

Okay, I'll see ya!

SUZANNE

Nice to see you again.

BRENDA

Yeah, you too. Bye!

SUZANNE

Bye.

BRENDA walks out and we hear the door close behind her. SUZANNE turns to STEVE.

SUZANNE

So what exactly is your relationship with Brenda?

STEVE

We’re friends, why?

SUZANNE

Just friends, that’s it?

STEVE

We dated for a couple months two years ago. Now we’re friends.

SUZANNE

Don’t you think that’s a little strange? Being friends after a relationship.

STEVE

We were friends before the relationship, why not after?

SUZANNE

I don’t know. Things usually change. I’m not friends with any of my ex-boyfriends.

STEVE

Am I sensing jealousy here?

SUZANNE

No, but I was. She really clammed up when she saw that I was here.

STEVE

It just caught her off guard I guess. Don’t worry, she’s fine.

SUZANNE

Is she dating anyone now?

STEVE

No, why?

SUZANNE

Nothing.

STEVE

Could you drop this then? I’m with you, Brenda is a friend, that’s all there is. Okay?

SUZANNE

Okay. I just wanted to hear you say it.

STEVE

Say what?

SUZANNE

That you’re with me.

STEVE

Well, here I am and there you are.

SUZANNE

Not for long!

SUZANNE turns around and climbs on top of STEVE. They begin kissing.

SUZANNE

Now I’m here too!

FADE TO:

BEGIN DATING MONTAGE - MUSIC OVER CLIPS

EXT. PUTT-PUTT GOLF COURSE - NIGHT

STEVE and SUZANNE play putt-putt golf. STEVE is at a hole, which is marked with different turns for "He" and "SHE." STEVE accidentally hits his ball up the shoot marked "SHE." SUZANNE then purposely hits her ball up the shoot marked "HE." SUZANNE sinks a six-foot putt. STEVE then tries to tap an easy one-footer in. He misses. He looks over to see the KID who was in the restaurant lobby earlier laughing at him. Quickly his MOTHER hits his arm lightly and pulls him away. STEVE is burned. SUZANNE laughs with him.

CUT TO:

EXT. DRIVING RANGE - DAY

STEVE is whacking drives out in to the range. SUZANNE is continuously topping balls and hitting them only a few yards out. STEVE is about to walk over and help but ducks at the last minute to avoid SUZANNE's backswing. This ball she has hit well. STEVE walks back to his stall and continues hitting balls.

CUT TO:

EXT. BEACH - DAY

STEVE and DAVE exchange Frisbee throws while SUZANNE and JENNIFER lay on a blanket tanning. DAVE's toss goes over STEVE's head and lands in the area of a beautiful young SUNBATHING WOMAN. STEVE walks over to retrieve the Frisbee and the SUNBATHING WOMAN stands up and talks to STEVE for a moment while he picks it up. STEVE glances over at SUZANNE and realizes that she has not missed this event. He smiles at SUZANNE turns to the SUNBATHING WOMAN says a few words then walks away. STEVE throws the Frisbee back to DAVE who is making the "whipped" motion with his hands, busting on STEVE.

CUT TO:

INT. STEVE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

SUZANNE lays in bed watching as STEVE, wearing only his boxer shorts, sits on the side of the bed singing her a song with his acoustic guitar. She smiles and they laugh together.

CUT TO:

INT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN - NIGHT

The whole gang, DAVE, JENNIFER, STEVE, SUZANNE and BRENDA, are competing at trivia night and winning prizes. They all appear to be having fun but BRENDA remains uncomfortable, feeling like a fifth wheel.

CUT TO:

INT. STEVE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

STEVE is watching TV in bed while, next to him, SUZANNE is reading a book. He laughs at something on TV. She stops, puts a bookmark in her book, takes off her reading glasses and sets them on the nightstand. Then she reaches for the remote, turns of the TV and rolls over on top of STEVE. They begin to kiss and SUZANNE reaches over and turns out the light. She is in love.

END DATING MONTAGE - MUSIC OVER CLIPS

FADE TO:

EXT. STEVE’S FRONT YARD - THREE WEEKS LATER - afternoon

We begin with the view from above. The screen door closes behind STEVE and SUZANNE as they exit the house. We crane down as they are walking across the front yard towards her car, which is parked on the street in front of STEVE's house. We begin to hear their voices getting clearer as they approach the camera which is now behind SUZANNE’s car and panning as they cross the back of the car so that she can open the driver’s side door.

STEVE

So is this some big relationship test? Dinner at your mother’s house?

SUZANNE

It’s not a test. It’s dinner.

STEVE

Yeah, but this is the official introduction to the family. This means something.

SUZANNE

Steve, we’ve been going out for a month. My mother is curious about whom I’ve been spending my time with. She’s very protective and very religious!

STEVE

So no satanic propaganda at the table, huh?

SUZANNE

God no, and please don’t take this opportunity to extol your theory that the church is largest money making organization in the world and that the Pope is just a CEO in a really funny hat.

SUZANNE gets in the car and closes the door. The window is open and their conversation continues as STEVE crouches down to talk to her

STEVE

Well he is. It’s all a sham. They beg for donations and then when I go to church the priest is up there with more gold in the cups and candelabras than MR. T wore around his neck. It’s so phony.

SUZANNE

Well it may be, but tomorrow you are a good church boy who receives communion every Sunday and thinks the Pope is the spiritual leader of the world.

STEVE

I’ll try my best...

STEVE puts his hand around the back of her head massaging her neck and playing with here hair.

STEVE (cont'd)

...but you just bring out the devil in me.

SUZANNE

You fuck up and that devil...

SUZANNE points down towards STEVE’s crotch.

SUZANNE(cont'd)

...won’t be coming out for a while.

STEVE

(giving up)

Okay. I’m a choirboy who likes to help old ladies across the street.

SUZANNE kisses him with a little peck through the window. She then turns the key and starts the car.

SUZANNE

(Talking louder over the engine)

That’s boy scouts, but close enough. I’ll see you tomorrow night.

STEVE

Okay. I can’t wait.

STEVE watches as she puts the car in drive and pulls away. He walks to the mailbox and gets his mail and then walks back towards the house.

CUT TO:

INT. DELI RESTAURANT - LUNCHTIME THE NEXT DAY (MONDAY)

STEVE, DAVE and BRENDA have just ordered their lunch and the WAITRESS is gathering their menus.

WAITRESS

Okay, I’ll be back with you drinks in a second.

STEVE

(handing the WAITRESS his menu)

Thanks!

The WAITRESS walks away and the three of them look at each other without talking for a few seconds. STEVE interrupts the awkward silence.

STEVE

So what’s up with you guys?

BRENDA

Same old, same old. Work, sleeping and eating.

STEVE

Woo- you need a life!

BRENDA

Well, you apparently have one to lend me.

STEVE

What do you mean?

BRENDA

(sounding pathetic and jealous)

You’ve got work, your music and your girly.

STEVE completely misses her attitude.

STEVE

Yeah, I guess you’re right I do have a life. (To DAVE) So how are things with Jen?

DAVE

Good. I think she’s a keeper!

STEVE

You should feel lucky she didn’t throw you back.

BRENDA

I can’t take it. Even you have a girlfriend. Is there something wrong with me?

STEVE

Wow, you don’t need a life. You need some self-esteem! Don’t talk like that. You’ve got a lot to offer a guy. You just have to get out there and grab one.

BRENDA

Yeah, what do I have to offer?

STEVE

Oh, shut up. You’re pretty, you’re smart, you’re funny.

DAVE

(adding to the list)

You don’t have serious issues. Any guy would be happy to date you. You gotta get out there.

BRENDA

Yeah, I guess. It’s been too long. I swear if something doesn't happen soon I’m gonna have to dust off my vibrator.

Just as BRENDA says the last line the WAITRESS has arrived with their drinks. The WAITRESS is shocked by what she just heard, but smiles and puts the drinks down and then walks away without saying anything. Her facial expression says it all. DAVE and STEVE cannot hold in their laughter as the WAITRESS leaves the table. BRENDA puts her hand over her eyes and blushes.

BRENDA

Look guys, it’s bad enough I’m not getting any but could you not laugh at me.

STEVE

(still laughing)

Sorry, but that’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time. Talk about timing.

DAVE

So what kind of vibrator are we talking about here? Is it a magic finger or are we talking like a John Holmes replica?

BRENDA

Drop it, I’m not talking about it with you.

STEVE

Hey you brought it up. And since you did, I’ve got a joke.

BRENDA

Let me guess. A vibrator joke.

STEVE

Yep! A lady walks into an adult gift store and goes to the guy at the counter, "I need a vibrator." The guy at the counter goes, "Okay lady, they’re over here."

STEVE wiggles his index finger as someone would to ask someone to follow them.

STEVE(cont'd)

"Come this way." The lady turns to him and says, "Hey buddy, If I could come that way I wouldn’t need a vibrator."

DAVE is amused and laughs. BRENDA is still pissed that she embarrassed herself and smiles.

BRENDA

Very funny.

STEVE

I thought so.

BRENDA

Enough about me, what’s up with your girl?

STEVE

Suzanne hasn’t asked me to use a vibrator on her yet.

STEVE laughs at his own comment

BRENDA

Not that you asshole! Can we drop this?

STEVE

Okay, um, things are going well. In fact, tonight I meet the mother.

DAVE

Wow! Big step.

BRENDA

Really, are you ready?

STEVE

Sure, but Suzanne says she’s a real religious lady so I have to behave myself.

DAVE

Yeah right, I'll bet the over/under on you pissing her off. Set the line at maybe (beat) 15 minutes.

BRENDA

I’ll take the over on that action. Steve’s got enough charm to keep from pissing her off for at least 16 minutes. (laughs)

STEVE

Yeah, laugh all you want. What are you doing tonight?

DAVE

She’s got a date with a blender, you know how she likes those electrical appliances (smiles at BRENDA).

BRENDA

Fuck you!

DAVE

I thought that’s what the Quisonart was for?

STEVE laughs and we cut back to a wide shot as the WAITRESS is just bringing their order to the table.

CUT TO:

EXT. SUZANNE’S MOTHER’S HOUSE - MONDAY NIGHT

STEVE and SUZANNE get out of STEVE's car and are walking up the front walk.

SUZANNE

Are you ready for this?

STEVE

Honey, I deal with people everyday and I’ve yet to be killed or even badly maimed for that matter, so I’m sure I’ll be fine. I think you’re more nervous than I am.

SUZANNE

Well, I want her to like you.

STEVE

(realizing his position)

Boy, you really got it bad for me. I must be one hell of a guy. How many guys have you brought home to Mom for dinner?

SUZANNE

One.

STEVE

Oh yeah, what was his name?

SUZANNE

Steve.

STEVE

Now there’s a coincidence.

SUZANNE

His name is Steve Michaels. You, dummy!

STEVE

(Shocked)

I’m the first?

SUZANNE nods her head looking uncomfortable. STEVE is still reeling but comes back to gather himself.

STEVE

All right, no problem. Wow, you must really like me a lot.

SUZANNE

(hurrying toward the house)

Oh get over yourself, and don’t embarrass me.

STEVE

Wait a minute. Come here.

STEVE pulls her towards him and holds her around the waist. He kisses her to calm her down.

STEVE

(Trying to calm her)

Now I truly appreciate this situation. And you should not be afraid. Parents always love me. It cursed me in the past with all those girls who wanted to be rebellious and piss off their Dad. Once the parents liked me I was out the door. So don’t worry. And besides, I love you.

SUZANNE

Yeah, but do you trust me? You’re the one with the trust is more important than love speech.

He kisses her again.

STEVE

Yes, I love and trust you.

SUZANNE

(relaxing and smiling)

Good, because if you make it through this dinner I’m going to show you how much I love and trust you.

STEVE

(joking)

What, are you gonna take a bullet for me?

SUZANNE

(exhausted)

Does everything have to be a joke?

STEVE

Seriousness is overrated. Now let’s go meet your mamma!

STEVE kisses her again and grabs her hand leading her to the front door. She sighs and then smiles resigning herself to go along with him. He stops and opens the screen door, SUZANNE opens the front door and he follows her in to the house.

CUT TO:

INT. SUZANNE’S MOTHER’S HOUSE - MONDAY NIGHT

STEVE and SUZANNE have just walked in the house. SUZANNE calls out for her mother.

SUZANNE

Mom! We’re here!

SUZANNE’S MOTHER

(ARLENE off camera)

I’ll be there in a second!

We go to STEVE’s point of view. We pan the house from left to right. To the left is the main den area with a couch, a barco lounger, a coffee table and an entertainment center. A cross is on the wall above the entertainment center. You can tell you’re in a Christian household but it’s not overly decorated with religious items. Straight ahead of him is the stairway. On the hallway wall is a small banner, which STEVE focuses on. It reads, "The pain of becoming is essential to the joy of being." STEVE then pans over toward the dining room on the right just as SUZANNE’s mother comes from the kitchen in to the dining room.

ARLENE

(excited)

Hello!

SUZANNE

Hi Mom!

SUZANNE and her mother hug as the camera returns to a three-shot of them at the door. SUZANNE and her mother stop their embrace and SUZANNE turns to introduce STEVE.

SUZANNE

Mom, this is Steve.

STEVE

It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Turner.

STEVE extends his hand to shake hands with her. She simply stares at his hand and leans forward to hug him instead.

ARLENE

You can call me Arlene dear. And it’s a pleasure to meet you too.

STEVE smiles as she backs away from the embrace. They stand there for a second not saying anything, smiling.

ARLENE

Well, dinner will be ready in about 10 minutes. Would you like something to drink?

STEVE

Sure, what do you have?

ARLENE

I have soda, iced tea, and water.

STEVE

Iced tea will be fine.

ARLENE

Well, have a seat and I’ll be back in a second.

STEVE

Okay.

SUZANNE

Mom, I’ll help you.

SUZANNE and ARLENE head towards the kitchen and we follow STEVE in to the den where he surveys the room. It's decorated with little knick-knacks and 5X7 family photos. STEVE looks closely at some pictures of SUZANNE at a younger age with her mother and father. He takes a seat on the couch and picks up a magazine titled "Catholic Digest" from off of the coffee table and begins leafing through it. SUZANNE walks in with STEVE’s iced tea and a drink for herself.

SUZANNE

A little light reading?

STEVE

This is actually kind of a cool article.

SUZANNE

(nervous)

Oh yeah? Well, I’ll get you a subscription.

SUZANNE smiles, grabs the magazine and puts it back on the table. ARLENE walks in the room and sits down in the barco lounger.

ARLENE

We have a little more time before the meatloaf is done. So Steve, my Suzanne tells me you’re a musician.

STEVE

Well, part time. I work as a computer analyst. But I do some songwriting and play in a band. I’m trying to get the music to happen but the job pays the bills.

ARLENE

Do you like it though?

SUZANNE

Mom!

STEVE

No, it’s okay. (beat) It’s a good job and it’s challenging. I enjoy it but I’ve always loved music.

ARLENE

I didn’t mean to push, I’m just trying to get all the dirt.

STEVE

I have nothing to hide, ask away. Do you have a questionnaire?

ARLENE

Yes, but it’s all in my mind.

SUZANNE

(laughing)

Should I go get the lie detector out of the closet?

ARLENE

Oh, hush, this isn’t an inquisition. Steve said I could ask whatever I like.

STEVE

(to SUZANNE)

It’s fine.

ARLENE

So, give me the full resume. Education? Family?

STEVE

Well, I went to about six different schools between Kindergarten and 12th grade...

FADE TO:

INT. ARLENE’S DINING ROOM - LATER MONDAY NIGHT

ARLENE, SUZANNE and STEVE are just finishing dinner in the dining room.

STEVE

That was one excellent dinner Mrs. Turner.

ARLENE

Please, Steve.

STEVE

Sorry, Arlene, the dinner was great.

ARLENE

Thank you dear.

SUZANNE

Yeah, I forgot how good a home-cooked meal can be Mom.

ARLENE is getting up to begin clearing the table.

ARLENE

Thanks honey. Maybe you could stop by more often for the experience.

SUZANNE does not appreciate her backhanded criticism.

SUZANNE

Mom!

ARLENE

I'm joking dear. I'm just happy to have you here (beat) and you too Steve.

STEVE

Well, I'm happy to be here. Do you need a hand with anything?

ARLENE

No, it's fine I'll get it

ARLENE grabs their plates and heads back in to the kitchen. STEVE and SUZANNE start helping to clear the table. They follow ARLENE in to the kitchen. ARLENE is in front of the sink staring out the window motionless. SUZANNE notices that her mother is not paying attention. She walks up to her at the sink.

SUZANNE

Mom, are you okay?

ARLENE snaps back to reality.

ARLENE

Oh, I’m fine honey I thought I saw something in the back yard.

SUZANNE

You sure? You seemed to leave us for a second there.

ARLENE

(joking)

Hey, I’m old, I’m allowed to zone out every now and then.

ARLENE turns from the sink.

ARLENE

So, who wants dessert?

STEVE

Oh, Arlene I don’t think I could eat another bite.

ARLENE

Suzanne?

SUZANNE

No, I’m okay Mom.

ARLENE's mood suddenly changes to down.

ARLENE

Well, I guess you’ll want to be going then.

STEVE

(reassuring)

No, I thought we were going to sit and talk some more. Maybe even break out some embarrassing photo albums.

ARLENE

Oh, nobody wants to sit with an old woman.

SUZANNE

Mom, that’s not true. Come on, you go have a seat. Steve and I will clean up.

ARLENE

Okay, I’m sorry. I just don’t see enough of my baby anymore.

ARLENE kisses SUZANNE and walks in to the living room. STEVE and SUZANNE begin putting dishes in the dishwasher and putting the food away. They talk quietly.

STEVE

Is she okay?

SUZANNE

Yeah, I’m surprised she lasted this long without this coming out. Steve, she’s a lonely woman. Since I moved out all she’s got is her church groups and her TV. I wish she would start dating for as much as she pushed me to.

STEVE

We never talked about this, what happened to your Dad?

SUZANNE pauses for moment before answering his question.

SUZANNE

He left when I was twelve. He was a Catholic deacon but he lost his faith after he lost his leg in an auto accident. Mom didn’t. So they kind of grew apart. I haven’t seen him in years. Last I heard he was working in Las Vegas.

STEVE

That’s hard. She hasn’t seen anyone since?

SUZANNE

She’s a Catholic and doesn’t believe in divorce or remarriage.

STEVE

You mean they are still married?

SUZANNE

Well, legally they are divorced. But, Mom won’t have it annulled by the church. So in her eyes and God’s they are still man and wife.

STEVE

Wow, does she have spells like that a lot?

SUZANNE

I don’t know. That’s only been over the past year or so. She said she went to the doctor and they couldn’t find anything wrong with her.

STEVE

Can I do anything?

SUZANNE

Not really. You could finish up putting these in the dishwasher? I have to use the bathroom.

STEVE

Sure go ahead.

She kisses him softly. STEVE continues putting dishes in the dishwasher as SUZANNE walks towards the den which is attached to the dining room near the front door and to the kitchen on the other end. She sees her mother is reclined in the barco lounger watching television. She opens the bathroom door, which is between the kitchen and den, and enters. STEVE is finishing up the dishes and wipes off the counter.

CUT TO:

INT. ARLENE’S BATHROOM - NIGHT

SUZANNE is washing her hands at the sink and spies her mother’s pill basket. Along with the vitamins there is a prescription bottle. She hesitates and then picks up the bottle and stares at the label. SUZANNE thinks for a minute and puts it back.

CUT TO:

INT. ARLENE’S DEN - night

STEVE enters the den from the kitchen. ARLENE is still watching television.

STEVE

Mrs. Turner, uh, I mean, Arlene, can I get you anything?

ARLENE

No, I’m okay. I’m just tired. I’ve been going to bed earlier and earlier these days.

STEVE

Well, don’t stay up on our account. If you’re tired you should rest.

ARLENE

Maybe you’re right.

ARLENE brings the chair forward from its reclined position and stands up.

ARLENE(cont'd)

Tell my daughter I went to sleep. And tell her I really liked you and I hope you stick around.

STEVE

I’m not going anywhere.

She hugs STEVE tight and kisses him on the cheek.

ARLENE

Make my daughter happy, please.

STEVE

I will do my best Arlene.

She smiles at him and then turns to head upstairs.

STEVE

Goodnight!

ARLENE

Goodnight.

ARLENE disappears up the stairs. SUZANNE walks out of the bathroom and turns out the light. She looks in to the den and sees STEVE standing in the middle of the room staring at the door. She looks in the kitchen and sees no one. She approaches STEVE from behind.

SUZANNE

Where’s my mother?

STEVE turns to face her.

STEVE

Uh, she decided to go to bed.

SUZANNE looks at her watch

SUZANNE

So early?

STEVE

She said she was feeling tired.

SUZANNE

I hope she’s okay. I saw some new prescriptions in the bathroom.

STEVE

Snooping on your mother?

SUZANNE

It’s not snooping. It’s concern.

STEVE

Well, why don’t you ask her about it?

SUZANNE

She’s a stubborn woman, she would never admit there was something wrong. Did she say anything else?

STEVE

Yes, she said that I was no good for you and that I should stay away from her daughter.

SUZANNE

(laughing)

Liar!

STEVE

Okay, she said that she likes me a lot and we should go back to my place for a torrid night of passion.

SUZANNE

Another lie.

STEVE

Only half a lie, she didn’t say she liked me.

SUZANNE laughs as STEVE hugs her. Her smile fades to a face of concern as we close-up on her in STEVE’s arms.

CUT TO:

INT. ARLENE’S BEDROOM - LATER THAT NIGHT

ARLENE is lying in bed watching a M.A.S.H. rerun on TV. Only the TV and a small lamp on the nightstand light the room. She is lying on one side of the double bed as if there is someone expected to be on the other side. The room appears warm with an older look than the rest of the house. There is a long dresser with a mirror on the wall to the left of the bed. The TV is on a dresser of drawers directly across from the bed and the other wall has a closet. There is a metal cross hanging directly above the headboard. There is one picture on the closet-side wall of Jesus' open hands with some writing below. Small picture frames filled with family photos adorn the flat surfaces in the room.

We hear a knock on the door shortly before it is opened. ARLENE looks towards the door and we see SUZANNE enter with the hallway light shining in behind her. ARLENE smiles and turns back to the TV and turns it off with the remote.

ARLENE

I thought you left with Steve.

SUZANNE

I told him I wanted to stay and talk with you.

ARLENE

What do you want to talk about sweetheart?

SUZANNE

I’m worried about you. You don’t seem like yourself.

ARLENE

Oh, I’m fine honey.

ARLENE pats the empty side of the bed next to her asking SUZANNE to sit on the bed next to her. SUZANNE sits on the bed and faces her mother.

ARLENE

I’ve just been a little tired lately. I think it’s the new medication my doctor gave me.

SUZANNE

I saw the prescription bottles in the bathroom. What’s wrong?

ARLENE

Oh, snooping on your poor mother?

SUZANNE

You sound like Steve. It’s not snooping. It's concern.

ARLENE

Oh, it’s okay honey. I appreciate your concern but my doctor wanted me to try a new medication for my heart. There’s nothing wrong, he just thought it was better than the old drug I was on.

SUZANNE

Well it’s apparently affecting you. You seem a little depressed.

ARLENE

That’s not the drug that's just me. Honey, with you out of the house it's gotten very lonely around here.

SUZANNE looks like she’s feeling guilty. ARLENE notices here daughter's reaction.

ARLENE(cont'd)

Oh, it’s not your fault honey. You’ve got to get on with your life. You’ve got a lot of years ahead of you. You’ve got a great guy in your life. You seem happy.

SUZANNE

I am happy Mom. But, maybe you should take some of your own advice.

ARLENE

What do you mean?

SUZANNE

Mom, you don’t have to be lonely. You’ve got a lot of life ahead of you too and you shouldn’t waste it waiting for Dad to come back.

ARLENE

(dismissive)

Suzanne please.

SUZANNE

Oh, come on Mom. Look at this room. It hasn’t changed in twenty years outside of a new TV, which I had to buy you. Did you throw out his clothes yet? Is his comb still on the bathroom sink? Look, you’re still sleeping on one side of the bed. Mom, he left 15 years ago. Don’t you think it’s time to realize that he’s not coming back?

ARLENE

I know honey, but I don’t know how.

SUZANNE

Well, you could start by getting rid of all of this stuff. Some of Dad’s clothes are so old they’re back in style again. Mom, you need to take these things in steps and getting rid of his stuff would be a good first step.

ARLENE

I’ll think about it.

SUZANNE frowns at her.

ARLENE(cont'd)

I will, I promise. Now come here.

ARLENE opens her arms and SUZANNE hugs her. They hold each other for a while.

SUZANNE

I just want you to be happy Mom.

ARLENE

I’m happy for you dear, that’s enough.

SUZANNE

I want you to be happy for you. You’ve done enough for me.

ARLENE

I could never do enough for you.

SUZANNE

I love you Mom.

ARLENE

I love you too sweetheart.

We pull out as they are still embraced.

FADE TO:

EXT. STEVE’S HOUSE - THE FOLLOWING SATURDAY AFTERNOON

Close-up of BRENDA sitting in her parked car in front of STEVE’s house. It is a sunny day and she is wearing jeans and a tight T-shirt. She turns off the car, pulls the keys out of the ignition and steps out of the car. We follow her up to the house until she is at the door. She stops to take a breath.

CUT TO:

INT. STEVE’S HOUSE - SATURDAY AFTERNOON

STEVE is watching TV on his couch. Three knocks are heard on the door. STEVE gets up and heads towards the door.

CUT TO:

EXT. STEVE’S FRONT PORCH - SATURDAY AFTERNOON

BRENDA is fixing her hair in the reflection and sees STEVE pull the window blinds to the side to see who is at the door. We see STEVE smile at catching BRENDA being vain. The door opens.

STEVE

Hey, what’s up?

BRENDA

Hey, I was in the area and figured I’d see what you were up to.

STEVE steps aside so that BRENDA can step in to the house and closes the door behind him.

CUT TO:

INT. STEVE’S HOUSE - SATURDAY AFTERNOON

BRENDA walks through the kitchen and into the den followed by STEVE. The conversation begins as they are walking.

STEVE

So what’s going on?

BRENDA

Not a lot, you know the usual. And you?

STEVE

Things are going well. No complaints.

BRENDA

Where’s your girly?

STEVE

Suzanne’s out of town this weekend. Some sorority thing.

BRENDA

Sorority?

BRENDA sits at the end of the couch furthest in to the room. STEVE bypasses the seat next to BRENDA and sits on the love seat. She is disappointed.

STEVE

Yeah, you know alumni shit. I think it’s all a hidden lesbian cult.

BRENDA

I’m sure you have no problem with that.

STEVE

(smiles)

You kidding, I tried to get her to take me.

BRENDA

So then what are you doing tonight?

STEVE

I was planning on a night in front of the TV. I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t had a chance to catch up on all the new releases.

BRENDA

Do you mind if I join you?

STEVE

What, no hot date tonight?

BRENDA

I am not as fortunate as you or Dave.

STEVE

Yeah, who would have figured that? Dave in love, I can’t believe it.

BRENDA

It makes me sick. He finds someone and I’m here alone.

STEVE

Oh, don’t worry baby, you’ll find someone. It takes time. Look at me.

BRENDA

I was thinking about that Steve. Why exactly did we break up?

STEVE

Well, as I recall I was just too nice a guy and didn’t treat you like shit. At the time you couldn’t deal with that.

BRENDA

Was I that bad?

STEVE

You were fine, just not as mature as you are now.

BRENDA

Mature is another word for old.

STEVE

Hey, like I said, sometimes it takes time.

BRENDA

It just hurts, ya know?

STEVE

Yeah, I know.

He smiles at her and grabs her hand reassuring her. She forces a smile.

CUT TO:

INT. STEVE’S DEN - SATURDAY NIGHT

STEVE and BRENDA are on the couch watching a movie. They are sitting close. BRENDA sits up and heads towards the kitchen. She is walking funny, obviously intoxicated.

BRENDA

Do you want another drink?

STEVE

No I’m okay.

BRENDA

Are you sure?

STEVE

Yeah, I’m really starting to feel it.

BRENDA

Okay!

STEVE continues to watch the movie as BRENDA gets another drink. BRENDA returns with a glass of wine and sits down closer to STEVE.

STEVE

Girl, you better take it easy.

BRENDA

No way, It’s been a while since I’ve felt this good.

STEVE

Are you drunk?

SUZANNE attempts to hold her amusement in but can't. She breaks out in a small laugh.

BRENDA

Just a little.

STEVE gets a whiff of her breath as she laughs and makes a face.

STEVE

Well, that’s it. You’re crashing here tonight.

BRENDA

No, I’ll be okay.

STEVE

You're bombed and I’m not letting you drive home.

BRENDA

Okay. But I don’t have anything to wear to bed.

STEVE

I’ll get you a T-shirt okay?

BRENDA

And a pair of boxers.

STEVE

Okay. Give me a minute.

STEVE leaves the room and BRENDA smiles to herself. She takes off her shoes and socks, throwing them across the room. She then takes off her belt and throws it. She takes off her jeans and puts them next to her on the couch. STEVE returns and looks at her funny, but figures that she is drunk and doesn’t know what she’s doing. He throws the T-shirt and boxers on the couch.

STEVE

Here you go!

BRENDA looks at the shirt and boxers and then smiles at STEVE.

BRENDA

Steve, come here.

STEVE

What?

BRENDA

Come here and sit down next to me.

STEVE

(hesitantly)

Okay.

BRENDA

Steve, I miss hanging out with you. This new girl is taking too much of your time.

STEVE

Well, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to leave you out.

BRENDA

I wanna show you how much I miss you.

STEVE

That’s okay!

BRENDA

No, I want to show you.

BRENDA removes her shirt. She is not wearing a bra and is naked aside from a thong. She leans in and kisses STEVE on the lips. STEVE is shocked and allows her to finish but then backs off.

STEVE

Look, Brenda, you’re drunk and I know you don’t know what you’re doing.

BRENDA grabs her shirt and covers herself.

STEVE (cont'd)

So, why don’t you just go to sleep and we’ll forget this happened.

BRENDA

(embarrassed)

Steve, don’t you think I’m pretty?

STEVE touches her head trying to be gentle figuring that BRENDA is just really drunk.

STEVE

Yes, I do. You are a very beautiful woman but I am in love with Suzanne. I’m sorry. Goodnight.

STEVE kisses her on the forehead and walks out of the room. BRENDA begins to cry.

FADE TO:

EXT. STEVE’S HOUSE - THE NEXT MORNING

We crane down as we see SUZANNE’s car pull in to frame and park behind BRENDA’s in front of the house. SUZANNE steps out of the car, gives BRENDA's car a funny look and approaches the front door. She knocks and waits. We see motion in the kitchen coming towards the front door. The door opens and it is BRENDA in STEVE’s T-shirt and boxer shorts. She has obviously just gotten up.

SUZANNE

Brenda?

BRENDA

(Very uncomfortable)

Hi, Suzanne. Steve told me you were out of town.

SUZANNE

I left early this morning. I wanted to surprise him.

BRENDA

Oh, I’m sure he’ll be surprised.

SUZANNE

What do you mean? What are you doing here?

BRENDA

Can you keep it down? Steve’s still asleep.

SUZANNE

I don’t care. What are you doing here? Did you spend the night with him?

BRENDA

It’s no big deal. We used to go out.

SUZANNE

Yeah, but I’m going out with him now. Did you spend the night with him?

BRENDA

(pauses)

Yes.

SUZANNE

Fine. Tell him I said, Have a nice life.

SUZANNE storms off and gets in her car. Just as she’s driving away STEVE comes down the stairs.

STEVE

Who was that?

BRENDA

That was Suzanne, she didn’t seem too happy about finding me here in the morning.

STEVE

What? What did she say?

BRENDA

I told her the truth Steve (beat) That we had a fun night last night.

BRENDA starts to hug and then kiss STEVE. STEVE pushes her away.

STEVE

Are you nuts? Get the fuck away from me. I can’t believe you lied to her about me.

BRENDA

She's no good for you. Come on, give me another chance.

STEVE

Oh shit, I thought it was the booze last night. But, you’re really jealous. She was right and I didn’t listen to her.

BRENDA

I’m sorry, but I want you back.

BRENDA approaches him again and he walks away. He then turns back to her.

STEVE

Consider this friendship over. Get your shit and get the hell out of my house.

BRENDA

Steve, don’t be like that.

STEVE

Be like what? Be like pissed because you just completely fucked my relationship with the woman I love. Because you just threw away every bit of trust I had in you. I don’t even want to look at you right now. Please, leave.

BRENDA

Okay, I’ll go.

She walks towards STEVE in the kitchen, looks at him. He tries to look at her and then looks away. She walks in to the den. We close up on STEVE and he puts his head in his hands not believing what has happened this morning.

CUT TO:

INT. SUZANNE’S APARTMENT - THAT AFTERNOON

We see a close-up of the answering machine and SUZANNE is out of focus in the background crying.

STEVE

(on answering machine)

Suzanne! If you’re there pick-up. Look, you were right about Brenda and I don’t know what she said to you but nothing happened! I swear! Please call me, I want to talk to you.

CUT TO:

INT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN - DAY

STEVE sits at the bar alone drinking and talking to BILL. BILL grabs his glass to get another, fills it and puts it in front of him.

BILL

That one’s on me brother.

STEVE

Thanks man

CUT TO:

INT. SUZANNE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

SUZANNE is watching television and we see the answering machine in the foreground.

STEVE

(on answering machine)

Suzanne! Please pick-up! I miss you and I want to talk. Look, we have to straighten this out. Nothing happened. Please pick-up! All right maybe you’re not home. I love you, call me.

CUT TO:

INT. STEVE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

STEVE is playing his guitar on the couch and hears a knock on the door. He runs to the door and it’s BRENDA. He opens the door, looks at her and then closes the door in her face.

CUT TO:

INT. DAVE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

JENNIFER is lying down on the couch with her head resting on DAVE's leg.

DAVE

Can’t you talk to her? I mean, the guy is innocent.

JENNIFER

I believe him, but she won’t listen to me. The girl is paranoid that a guy would cheat on her and leave her just like her Dad did to her mother. She won’t even talk about it.

DAVE

Well, see what you can do. It’s tough seeing your best friend fall apart and you can’t do anything about it.

CUT TO:

INT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN - NIGHT

Multiple shots faded together. STEVE is playing with his band but is miserable. He sits with guys after the show and is straight faced while they are all laughing. He snaps out of it and fakes a smile.

CUT TO:

INT. ARLENE’S HOUSE - day

SUZANNE and ARLENE are cleaning her husband's things out of the closet. ARLENE places a large bag in to the hallway. SUZANNE then cleans out the bathroom of her father’s things. ARLENE smiles but is uncomfortable with all the change.

CUT TO:

INT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN - NIGHT

DAVE and STEVE sit at the bar surrounded by some older regulars.

STEVE

I’ve been calling her every day man. I don’t know what else to do. She won’t talk to me.

DAVE

Did you try stopping by her work?

STEVE

No, I’m not going bring this type of situation to her job. I won’t do that to her.

DAVE

I wish I knew what to say man. Jen says that she won’t listen to her either. The girl has issues with her Dad cheating and leaving her mother.

STEVE

I didn’t even cheat, man this sucks. I should have just driven Brenda home that night.

DAVE

Hey, how were you to know man.

STEVE

She made a pass at me that night, but I figured it was because she was drunk. Then the next morning she tells Suzanne that we slept together. I never thought she would psycho out on me.

DAVE

Bitch.

CUT TO:

INT. CHURCH MEETING ROOM - night

SUZANNE and ARLENE are at the church's Bingo Night. An older gentleman sits next to ARLENE and is talking to her. ARLENE is uncomfortable like a girl on a first date. SUZANNE smiles at her and then turns and looks in to the distance unemotional.

CUT TO:

INT. SUZANNE’S APARTMENT - night

SUZANNE is reading a magazine on the couch. The TV is on but she's not watching it.

CUT TO:

EXT. SUZANNE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

STEVE is knocking on the front door.

STEVE

Suzanne, I know you're home. Will you at least hear me out? I can't take this much longer.

We pan through the wall and see SUZANNE walking towards the door and looking through the peephole but not answering the door. She walks away from the door and we pan back through the door at STEVE leaning his head against the door.

STEVE

Please, God why won’t she talk to me?

We zoom out as STEVE turns with his back to the door. He's defeated.

FADE TO:

INT. THE OFFICE CAFETERIA - LUNCHTIME

DAVE is sitting with BRENDA at lunch.

DAVE

What were you thinking?

BRENDA

I don’t know. I saw how happy he was and I wanted him back. I want to be that happy.

DAVE

It was a real bitch move. Suzanne still won’t talk to him. The guys more depressed than I’ve ever seen him. And it’s entirely your fault. He’s not that happy guy any more thanks to you. Is that what you wanted?

BRENDA

No.

DAVE

What did you think was going to happen? Did you think he was secretly pining for you all this time? Did you think she was just an attempt to make you jealous? It was love, the real thing. Not the way you think of love. Not someone to put up with your shit and maybe have sex with. You’re gonna have to fix this now. I tried. Steve’s still trying. (beat) This is all on you now.

BRENDA

What should I do?

DAVE

You might want to try talking to Suzanne. Start by telling her that you’re a lying bitch. Hopefully she’ll believe you.

DAVE gets up from the table and walks away. BRENDA stares out the window trying not to cry.

CUT TO:

INT. ARLENE’S BEDROOM - EARLY EVENING

SUZANNE sits on the bed as her mother is getting ready to go out for the night. She is trying on different earrings, unhappy with any of her selections.

ARLENE

I don’t know what I’m doing. How about these?

ARLENE turns to SUZANNE to look at the earrings.

SUZANNE

They’re fine Mom. God, you really are nervous.

ARLENE

Well, considering I haven’t been on a date in about 30 years, I think I’m extremely calm.

SUZANNE

You’ll be fine. Mom...

SUZANNE stands up to face her.

SUZANNE

I’m very proud of you.

They hug.

ARLENE

Thank you dear. I owe it all to you.

SUZANNE

I just want you to be happy.

ARLENE

I am. How about you?

SUZANNE sits back down on the bed. ARLENE takes a deep breath knowing that she's about to touch on a tough subject.

ARLENE(cont'd)

Honey, I've really liked that we've been spending more time together, but I know it's not because it's so much fun.

SUZANNE

I don’t know. I don’t know what to do about Steve. I mean I love him but I don’t know whether I can trust him or not.

ARLENE sits down next to her and grabs her hand.

ARLENE

Have you talked to him yet?

SUZANNE

No, I don’t know what I’d say.

ARLENE

Well, I think you should talk to him face to face before you make any decisions.

SUZANNE

I’m afraid I’ll either kill him or marry him.

ARLENE

Well, listen to his side first. If he didn’t do anything marry him, but if he did (beat) don’t you stand for that. Kill him!

SUZANNE

(smiles)

Thanks Mom, great advice.

ARLENE

They can’t all be gems sweetheart. But I’m right.

SUZANNE

I know. Maybe I’ll make him suffer a little longer.

ARLENE

Take it easy on him dear. He’s innocent until proven guilty.

SUZANNE smiles and hugs her mother.

SUZANNE

Good luck tonight Mom!

ARLENE

Thank you honey.

CUT TO:

INT. SUZANNE’S APARTMENT - THAT NIGHT

SUZANNE is in the kitchen pouring water into a pot when she hears a knock on the door. She puts the pot down in the sink.

SUZANNE

(yelling to the door)

Who is it?

VOICE THROUGH DOOR

It’s Jen.

SUZANNE gets up and heads towards the door. She opens it and we see that it is really BRENDA. SUZANNE is instantly pissed off.

SUZANNE

Oh, what do you want?

BRENDA

I didn’t think you’d answer if I said it was me. I’m sorry.

SUZANNE

You’re damn right.

SUZANNE starts to close the door and BRENDA stops it with her hand.

BRENDA

Wait, I need to talk to you.

SUZANNE

You did all the talking the other morning. I’m sure you’re happy now.

BRENDA

No, I’m not cause Steve loves you. Look, I’m a bitch. I tried to get him back. I threw myself at him, but he didn’t do anything. He loves you. I was just trying to bring back the past.

SUZANNE

Right, then why were you still there in the morning?

BRENDA calms as she explains further.

BRENDA

Well, you know Steve. He’s such a nice guy he wouldn’t let me drive home. I was pretty drunk. I’m sorry, but please don’t take this out on him. He did nothing wrong. The guy loves you.

SUZANNE

(still pissed)

Well, thanks for stopping by. Forgive me if I don’t invite you in.

SUZANNE closes the door and BRENDA stands there for a few seconds before sighing and leaving.

CUT TO:

INT. STEVE’S HOUSE - NEXT DAY (SUNDAY)

The phone rings and STEVE picks up.

STEVE

Hello?

BRENDA

(on phone)

Hey, it’s Brenda. Please don’t hang-up. I stopped by to see Suzanne to tell her the truth. I don’t know if it did any good, but I tried. I guess I’m trying to say I’m sorry. I fucked up and I hope you can forgive me. I know you won’t forget, but I still want you in my life. I’m trying to make this right again.

STEVE

Brenda, I appreciate that you’re trying. But, it’s going to take some time before I can talk to you without thinking about what you did to me.

BRENDA

I know, I’m sorry. I’m an idiot. I hope Suzanne gets back with you. I really liked seeing you so happy.

STEVE

Yeah, I wish I could believe that. (beat) Well, I gotta go. Bye!

BRENDA

Bye Steve.

STEVE hangs up the phone and sits down at the kitchen table. We pan around the room as he sits and thinks. Finally he gets up, grabs his jacket and heads out the door.

CUT TO:

INT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN - SUNDAY AFTERNOON

STEVE is sitting at the bar with a bunch of tavern regulars. HOBIE, a 30-year-old with a medium build, is a single guy with a gambling habit. He is constantly looking at the different TV's to see scores of the games he has money on. PAT, a mid-50-year-old, is a little chunky and bald. He is living off disability even though he looks completely healthy. FRANK, a late-40-year-old is an obvious alcoholic. BILL, the bartender, is a casual observer as he fills drink orders for the restaurant. As we enter the scene a team on the TV has just scored and HOBIE is excited since he has money on the game.

HOBIE

Yes!

(to the tune of the School House Rock song, "Interjection")

Interception, for excitement, and the touchdown, and the cover, and the over and five-hunny, Alleluia, Alleluia!

STEVE

I can't believe you bet on European League Football.

HOBIE

When it's the only action around you take it. How else are you gonna make these hacks interesting?

STEVE

I see your point.

HOBIE notices that STEVE is not in a great mood.

HOBIE

You been here a lot lately man. You're gonna end up drinking your dinner like Pat and Frank if you don't watch it.

PAT takes offense to this.

PAT

Hey, speak for yourself. I happen to like the food here.

HOBIE

Yeah, you order the same two double cheeseburgers every time. How come you haven't collapsed from a coronary yet?

PAT

Good genetics.

Both HOBIE and STEVE cannot help but laugh at that since PAT looks like he got every bad genetic trait (baldness, weight problem, etc.)

HOBIE

(to STEVE)

Really man, what's up with you?

STEVE

Ah, girl trouble.

HOBIE

Oh yeah, Dave was saying something about that to me. Caught you cheating huh?

STEVE

I wasn't cheating man. I am completely innocent. (beat) Problem is she won't believe me.

FRANK interjects in to the conversation.

FRANK

Steve, you have to find yourself a different woman. My wife is the best.

HOBIE

Frank, she goes to the liquor store for you and drives your ass home when you're too drunk. Of course you think that.

FRANK

No, that just shows that she loves me and will do anything for me.

HOBIE

Yeah, that's love. I think they call it enabling. Wait, does she have a big insurance policy on you? I've seen this on 60 minutes I think.

STEVE and PAT laugh.

FRANK

Nah, I had trouble getting insurance. I've got this neurological disorder that causes me to talk and walk a little strange sometimes.

BILL

What's it called Vodka Tonic-nosis?

They all laugh except for FRANK. FRANK finishes his drink.

FRANK

Well, I'm not gonna sit here for this. I'm out of here.

Frank leaves.

BILL

Some people can't take a joke.

BILL walks up to where FRANK was sitting to grab his glass and collect the tip. BILL holds up a one-dollar bill.

BILL(cont'd)

Now, this is a joke.

BILL drops the dollar in to his tip jar and exits the frame to clean FRANK's glass.

PAT

So, Steve, you've got woman trouble huh?

STEVE

Yeah, it sucks.

PAT

I don't have that problem. When you're paying for it you cut through all the bullshit.

STEVE turns to HOBIE.

STEVE

I don't want to hear where this is going.

HOBIE

I do.

PAT

All I'm saying is all they want is money and all you want is sex. Strip bars and prostitution are the only truly honest relationships between men and women.

HOBIE

(dry-joking)

The man's a visionary.

STEVE

I really need to stop coming here.

PAT rises from his seat and drops a tip on the bar.

PAT

Hey, live your life pal. All I'm saying is that I've been in love and I've been in pain. One always leads to the other.

PAT walks out of the bar. HOBIE finishes his beer and puts the empty glass on the bar. BILL grabs the glass and fills it from the tap.

HOBIE

When did this place turn in to the Ricky Lake show?

STEVE

I really need to stop coming here.

HOBIE

Hey cheer up. You wanna play me in Video Golf. Dollar a skin?

STEVE

That's okay man I'll keep my money.

HOBIE

Dave's a lot more fun than you are.

HOBIE walks to the end of the bar where the video golf machine is. STEVE is now sitting at the bar alone. He is sipping on his drink and watching a game on the television. A few tables are filled with the Sunday dinner crowd. We close-up on STEVE drinking and we see someone come up behind him.

VOICE (O.C)

Hey. You're shoes untied.

STEVE looks down at his shoe and notices that it is untied. He looks over to the person asking and realizes it is SUZANNE. He smiles at her, thankful that she has come to see him. She kneels down and ties his shoe for him. He is happy with the initial signals but is cautious.

STEVE

Suzanne, oh my God! I didn’t think you’d ever talk to me again.

SUZANNE sits down at the seat next to him.

SUZANNE

Well, I wasn’t until I got a visit from your friend Brenda.

STEVE

Hey, she’s not my friend anymore.

SUZANNE

Don’t be so hard on her. I can’t blame her for wanting you.

Steve likes how this is going. He knows she's back but he's still a little cautious.

STEVE

Really? So, what do we do now?

SUZANNE

Well, I guess I could get back together with you.

STEVE

You guess? Come here.

STEVE grabs her and hugs her tight.

STEVE(cont'd)

Oh, I missed you.

SUZANNE

(getting upset)

I missed you too. I’m sorry I didn’t listen.

STEVE

It’s my fault. I should have seen it coming.

Their hug loosens so that they can kiss.

STEVE(cont'd)

I love you.

SUZANNE smiles.

STEVE(cont'd)

Thanks for coming back.

They kiss again. As they are kissing, BILL the bartender walks up with another drink for STEVE and a drink for SUZANNE.

BILL

That’s what I like to see. Guys, this rounds on me.

STEVE

I don’t know how he stays in business. I could have become an alcoholic with all the freebies he gave me when you left. He’s probably glad he doesn’t have to buy me anymore drinks.

SUZANNE

It’s kind of nice to see that you fall apart without me.

STEVE

And you had no problems without me?

SUZANNE

None at all.

SUZANNE pauses watching STEVE's slightly shocked reaction.

SUZANNE (cont'd)

I’m kidding. I was dying. And my mother, if you’re number wasn’t unlisted I’m sure that she would have called you to give you hell.

STEVE

Maybe you should tell her what really happened before Thanksgiving dinner then.

SUZANNE

(laughs)

Maybe.

They kiss deeply, oblivious of the other people in the bar.

FADE TO:

EXT. CHURCH - FALL DAY

People mill around the front of the church.

CUT TO:

INT. CHURCH back room - day

STEVE is wearing a tuxedo and pacing slightly. DAVE walks in the door also wearing a tuxedo.

DAVE

They’re almost ready.

STEVE

Okay. How do I look?

STEVE strikes the pose. DAVE reaches up to straighten STEVE's bowtie.

DAVE

God you’re so vain. I bet you think this song is about you.

STEVE

Well, there are no mirrors back here.

DAVE finishes with the bowtie.

DAVE

Well, Snow White you are the fairest in the land.

STEVE

Thanks dear.

DAVE

Come on, let’s not keep the audience waiting.

STEVE

Okay, hey are you ready Mr. Matthews?

We turn to see that this is actually a wedding for MR. MATTHEWS, the man seen earlier at the Bingo night with ARLENE)

MR. MATTHEWS

Steve, please call me Jim.

STEVE

Okay. Jim, are you ready?

MR. MATTHEWS

As ready as I’ll ever be.

STEVE

You’ll be fine.

They follow DAVE out the door to the main church chamber.

CUT TO:

EXT. CHURCH - AFTER THE CEREMONY - fall day

JIM and ARLENE are walking out of the church being pelted with birdseed as they make their way to the limousine. Everyone is waving as they drive away. STEVE and SUZANNE hug each other.

SUZANNE

I can’t believe it. My mother actually married before me.

STEVE

What are you trying to say?

SUZANNE

Oh nothing.

STEVE

Right.

STEVE kisses her and smiles looking at her and then to the direction the limousine drove off to. DAVE then leans in to invade their space.

DAVE

Well, what are you waiting for? (beat) Let’s get to the reception! (to SUZANNE) It’s open bar right?

SUZANNE gives DAVE a look.

STEVE

(to SUZANNE)

Some things never change.

DAVE

What?

JENNIFER leans in to grab DAVE and pull him away.

JENNIFER

I’m trying my best to improve you!

DAVE

There are no improvements to be made.

STEVE walks away with SUZANNE looking at DAVE.

STEVE

Right.

JENNIFER hits DAVE with her purse playfully. DAVE turns to her as to say, "What?"

CUT TO:

EXT. THE SIDEWALK of THE CHURCH - fall day

STEVE and SUZANNE walk hand in hand away from the church heading towards STEVE's car. We see them from behind as they walk away.

SUZANNE

I must say, I love how you look in a tuxedo.

STEVE

You kidding me? If everyday was prom night I’d be a mad chic-magnet.

SUZANNE

God, can’t you ever take a compliment without inflating your ego.

STEVE

Oh, you love it. That’s why you always compliment me.

SUZANNE

Oh, is that why?

STEVE

That and because no one could resist giving me props for this get-up.

SUZANNE

You’re so sexy when you talk street like that. Didn’t you grow up in the burbs?

STEVE

Yes, but in a very tough neighborhood.

SUZANNE laughs and grabs on to STEVE's arm with both hands pulling him closer to her as they walk. They turn the corner and we stay focused on the street as the credits roll. People causally stroll down the street from the wedding.

FADE OUT:

THE END