1ST DRAFT - 5/15/1999
REVISED - 9/10/1999
REVISED - 10/13/2000
LEFTOVERS
By
Daniel P. Ward
FILM SUMMARY:
Steve's in his late twenties and still looking for love in the big city clubs. Little did he know he'd find it at his local tavern. Now, between his best friend, the ex-girlfriends, the new girlfriend and the regulars at the bar Steve negotiates the obstacle course called the modern relationship.
FADE IN:
OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE
EXT. PHILADELPHIA CITYSCAPE - DUSK
We take a long shot of the "City of Brotherly Love" and helicopter towards the metropolis along the Ben Franklin Bridge. We cruise over and around buildings and then zoom down to cars on the expressway. We start to follow a white car through the city and off the 95 South Exit. The car turns off on the Columbus Boulevard exit and drives down Columbus Boulevard.
CUT TO:
EXT. URBAN NIGHTCLUB - FRIDAY NIGHT
The car drives up to a nightclub where the passengers exit. We do not see their faces. The driver tosses the keys to the valet. We zoom in behind the men as they walk in to the club.
CUT TO:
INT. URBAN NIGHTCLUB - FRIDAY NIGHT
Loud dance music plays. We see our two main characters, STEVE and DAVE. They stand at the doorway surveying the room. Both are average height and build and dressed casually (khakis and dress shirts). The hallway light shines behind them in bright white while their front is a mixture of darkness and light from the dance floor lighting. They pose like sharks in a pool full of crippled fish. These guys are studs. Then STEVE sneezes turning their coolness into awkwardness. DAVE shakes his head at STEVE and begins to walk in to the club. STEVE hurries his step to catch up to DAVE.
We follow them from the front until STEVE makes a pointing gesture and we follow DAVE’s eyes to see two lovely young ladies. As we turn around we are now following the two from behind as they approach the bar. DAVE orders a Windsor and Coke and a bottle of Yuengling Lager. The bartender gets their drinks, the two turn and continue to survey the bar as they take the first taste of their beverages.
DAVE
Where would you like to start?
STEVE doesn’t say a word and shrugs.
DAVE
No time like the present. (beat) Let's light this candle.
We then see a montage of DAVE and STEVE talking to various women.
FLASH TO:
INT. URBAN NIGHTCLUB - FRIDAY NIGHT
STEVE and DAVE are talking with a HYPER GIRL and her friend at the bar. DAVE is very interested while STEVE doesn’t appear to care.
HYPER GIRL
Yeah, I’m a senior at St. Joe’s.
DAVE
What’s your major?
HYPER GIRL
Psychology (beat) with a minor in French and Political Science.
DAVE
Wow! So what are you doing after graduation? Grad school?
HYPER GIRL
No. I’m going to Africa to do volunteer work. I get such a great feeling from helping people, don't you?
DAVE
Sure. You too don’t you Steve?
STEVE
You kidding me? I hate people, and I wouldn’t go to Africa if you paid me. All those bugs and shit, forget it.
The HYPER GIRL sighs obviously turned off and her friend pulls her away from the bar. DAVE frowns at STEVE and STEVE laughs.
FLASH TO:
INT. URBAN NIGHTCLUB - FRIDAY NIGHT
STEVE and DAVE talking to two very attractive women seated at a table.
STEVE
So what do you do?
DANCER GIRL
I’m a dancer?
STEVE
Wait, let me guess. You dance at Delilah’s Den
The DANCER GIRL gives him an evil stare
STEVE
Club Risque?
The DANCER GIRL grabs here friend and they stand.
DANCER GIRL
I dance with the Philadelphia Ballet you creep.
The girls walk away disgusted. DAVE is in hysterics laughing at his friend.
DAVE
Nice and smooth baby!
STEVE
Yeah and you’re some help! You couldn’t have pushed me out of the way of the bus?
DAVE
Instant Karma man. You could have pretended to care for the Peace Corps chick.
FLASH TO:
INT. URBAN NIGHTCLUB - FRIDAY NIGHT
DAVE and STEVE are about to drink shots with two ladies who are dressed in black leather.
STEVE
So what are we drinking to?
LEATHER GIRL #1
What do you normally drink to?
STEVE
(half-serious)
World peace and racial harmony.
LEATHER GIRL #2
Forget that! We’re drinking to nights of drunken passion and mornings of hungover regret.
DAVE
Works for me!
They drink and slam their glasses on the table.
LEATHER GIRL #1
So are you guys into anything kinky?
STEVE
Define kinky.
GIRL #4 leans in and looks at STEVE very seriously.
LEATHER GIRL #2
What she means is will you let us tie you up and beat you?
STEVE is hoping that she's joking
STEVE
That’s funny. Gotta be the best line I've heard all night.
LEATHER GIRL #1
She wasn’t joking. We’re looking for some new slaves.
DAVE
Sorry, we’re staunch supporters of the Emancipation Proclamation.
LEATHER GIRL #2
Too bad, we were starting to like you.
LEATHER GIRL #1 pulls a black leather whip out of her purse and flashes it to the boys. DAVE and STEVE look at each other obviously freaked out. They stand up and walk away without saying a word. We see the LEATHER GIRLS disappointed at first then smiling as the STEVE and DAVE leave the table.
FLASH TO:
INT. URBAN NIGHTCLUB - FRIDAY NIGHT
STEVE and DAVE are standing by the bar finishing their drinks and they see the LEATHER GIRLS still eyeing them up.
STEVE
What do you say we take off before they decide to follow us home?
DAVE
I was thinking of entering witness protection myself, but we’ll see if you’re plan works
They exit the bar.
CUT TO:
EXT. URBAN NIGHTCLUB - FRIDAY NIGHT
The valet brings the car around, STEVE and DAVE get in and drive away.
END OF CREDIT SEQUENCE
fade TO:
EXT. CINEMA MULTIPLEX - THE NEXT NIGHT (SATURDAY)
Establishing shot of the cinema center with 22 theatres. The parking lot is full and there are small groups of people outside waiting for rides, being dropped off, etc..
CUT TO:
INT. MOVIE THEATRE - NIGHT
The lights are coming up as the ending credits roll and we see STEVE and DAVE sitting with a seat between them as the people around them get up and leave.
STEVE
So what did you think?
DAVE
I think I wanted to jam my shoe down the guy-behind-me’s throat. Did he shut up for one minute?
STEVE
Yeah, I really needed him to tell me and everyone else in the theatre that B and E meant breaking and entering.
DAVE
Asshole watches Law & Order re-runs and thinks he’s a legal expert.
STEVE
Okay, annoying audience members aside, what did you think of the movie?
DAVE
It was okay, but why do they cast a thirty-year-old guy and put him in make-up that makes him look 70? Aren’t there enough 70-year-old actors in Hollywood? What pisses me off is that he’ll probably receive an award for that shit.
STEVE
Come on, you didn’t think he was good?
DAVE
Please! Put the rubber face on me and I’ll walk to the corner store with a cane. Would I get 8 million for it? Would I get a nomination? No. Some actor who's on magazine covers every week for the simple fact that genetics has dealt him a better hand than most of us is getting the money, the awards and the women.
STEVE
I’m sensing a sore point here.
DAVE
Ah man, I’m just sick of meeting nothing but psycho chicks like those two leatherheads at the bar last night? Totally wacked!
STEVE
Well, I can see where this is going. Come on, let’s go to Village.
DAVE nods and they get up and leave the frame
CUT TO:
EXT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN PARKING LOT - NIGHT
STEVE’s car pulls into the Village Tavern parking lot and finds a spot right in front of the bar. STEVE and DAVE get out and head for the bar.
STEVE
I Love getting the Kojack spot.
DAVE has obviously heard this many times before.
DAVE
Yeah, I know
The two enter the bar.
CUT TO:
INT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN - NIGHT
STEVE and DAVE enter the bar and are greeted by Terry, the bartender at the front bar who calls them by name, and then proceed to walk into the back room. A band is finishing up a song as they enter. BILL, the bartender in the back room, spots them and begins to pour their drinks. STEVE and DAVE shake hands with a few people as they grab seats at the bar. They are obviously regulars.
BILL puts their drinks in front of them and offers each of them a handshake. BILL is a tall man in his late 40's.
BILL
How are you doing guys?
STEVE
Alright man, got the Kojack spot, got my drink, no complaints.
BILL
What spot?
STEVE
The Kojack spot.
BILL
I don’t get it?
STEVE
Didn’t you ever notice on Kojack that no matter where the guy was driving to there was always an open spot right in front of the building. I mean, the guy could have been pulling into Yankee Stadium during a World Series game to arrest George Steinbrenner and by some unbelievable stroke of luck there would be an open spot right in front of the entrance.
BILL
Yeah, so?
STEVE
Well, I pulled in here and there was a spot right in front of the bar.
BILL
I wouldn’t think it would be too hard the way this band is driving away business. They suck!
DAVE
It helps if you actually listen to a demo tape.
BILL
Hey, the owner booked 'em. Unfortunately his idea of good music is a Gerry and the Pacemakers reunion.
They all grin. STEVE and DAVE drink and BILL goes to pour beers for the band who is now taking a break.
STEVE
So what were we talking about?
DAVE
Meeting nothing but psycho chicks with issues. Man, are there no normal girls around here? Maybe I need to move somewhere else.
STEVE
Oh, come on you had that one, uh what’s her name?
DAVE
Who, Lisa?
STEVE
Yeah Lisa! She was nice, cute, not too many issues.
DAVE
(Sarcastically)
Right! First of all the girl was far too young for me and I should have seen that. I mean a twenty year old girl dating a guy who’s 27? It’s a little too much of a difference, not just in age, but socially. The girl couldn’t walk into a bar with me. It was like returning to high school. You know how relationships that start in high school usually end if one goes to college before the other?
STEVE
Yeah.
DAVE
It’s all social levels. People change and they can no longer relate how they used to. Lisa and I never even related to begin with. She liked dating an older guy and I liked her body. Believe me she was smart as a bag of hammers and that wears thin after a while. She broke up with me but I was more relieved than disappointed.
STEVE
Yeah, but did she pass the door test?
DAVE
With flying colors, I was hoping she would fail so that I could end it. But every time I opened the door for her she reached right over to unlock mine. She must have seen A Bronx Tale or something.
STEVE
It’s a shame to find one that passes and have to end it anyway. That girl Amy I was seeing never passed the door test, but I was stupid and kept going out with her anyway.
DAVE
Let me guess. Not only did she care too much about herself but she had issues too.
STEVE
You kidding me? That girl had more issues than National Geographic. Check this out. The father runs off with the secretary leaving the wife, who supported him through college, uneducated and unemployed while he lives in a 7-bedroom mini-mansion in the suburbs. And because of the financial circumstances the kids have to live with the Dad. I tell you one visit where the Mom & Dad had to be together was worth at least 5 hours of me playing therapist afterwards.
DAVE
Psycho! Were you dumber then or something?
STEVE
Hey, I thought I loved her. (beat) There were a few good things about our relationship.
DAVE
Like what?
STEVE
Well for some reason both times we broke up it was around Thanksgiving which means I didn’t have to deal with her family for that and then we would get back together after Christmas, which means I saved on the presents.
DAVE
Why the hell did you get back together?
STEVE
She always seemed to change her tune after New Year’s. I guess it was the whole family holiday pressure. She couldn’t deal with the family and me during that time. She actually tried to get back together a third time.
DAVE
What did you tell her?
STEVE
Nothing. I never called her back. I ran in to some of her friends at homecoming last year and they said she was looking for me. Lucky for me I didn’t see her.
DAVE
I guess. You could have finally been on the hook Christmas.
STEVE
Man, what are we sitting here bitching for? There’s gotta be some girlies here.
BILL has returned to that section of the bar to pour some drinks and is listening.
DAVE
Nah, this is a great place to drink, but the girls are always a little older here.
BILL overhears DAVE and decides to comment.
BILL
Hey man, don’t look in the mirror now, but nobody’s carding you here. How old are you Dave, 28?
DAVE
27!
BILL
Oh wow, 27! Face it boys you are now the older, un-married crowd. You know (beat) the leftovers.
STEVE
Nice. Hey I got no problems with the girls here.
STEVE Points to DAVE.
STEVE(cont'd)
Talk to the bitch with the biological clock over here.
DAVE
Fuck you man! I just can’t seem to get in to the girls here. All the really cute ones are married or seeing someone. Girls don’t come here to pick-up.
STEVE
Should we go cruise the high schools tomorrow so you can find your next disappointing relationship?
DAVE
Man, I can’t talk to you about this stuff anymore. I’m gonna go check the front bar for ladies.
DAVE stands up and walks out of the frame. STEVE takes a sip of his drink, turns to where DAVE has just walked off and shouts to him.
STEVE
Hey Rob Lowe! Make sure you card them!
STEVE turns back towards the bar as the band begins. BILL stops in place in front of STEVE and listens to the band begin.
BILL
Steve I gotta get some better talent in this place. (beat) Hey, don't worry about all that leftover stuff. I've never been married.
STEVE
Yeah well, look at ya.
BILL abruptly grabs STEVE’s near-empty glass and walks down the bar.
BILL
Just for that I’m charging you for this one!
STEVE
(yelling after him)
What'd I say?
FADE TO:
INT. STEVE'S OFFICE - THE FOLLOWING MONDAY MORNING
STEVE sits at his computer in a cubicle typing and the phone rings.
STEVE
Hello, Systems, Steve Michaels.
BRENDA
(on the phone)
Hey buddy, we still doing lunch today?
STEVE
Oh hey! Yeah, gimme five minutes.
BRENDA
Stop by and get me.
STEVE
Okay, bye
STEVE hangs up the phone and continues with his typing.
FADE TO:
INT. BUILDING CAFETERIA - MONDAY LUNCHTIME
STEVE and BRENDA are sitting down at an empty table with their trays. BRENDA is an attractive girl in her late 20's. She is dressed in a business suit and looks to be in a higher profile position in the company than STEVE.
BRENDA
So what did you do this weekend?
STEVE
Friday night I went clubbing with Dave and we struck out more than an American League pitcher in a National League park.
BRENDA
So what’s new.
STEVE
Thanks for the confidence boost.
BRENDA
Poor baby, and Saturday?
STEVE
Saw a movie with Dave and then we went to the Village.
BRENDA
People are gonna start to talk about you two. If we hadn’t dated I would think you were playing for the other team.
STEVE
(In an effeminate voice joking)
Hey what can I say he’s so cute!
BRENDA
Don’t make me sick during lunch. So, no big happenings?
STEVE
No, the usual, we strike out on Friday and then complain about our horrible past relationships on Saturday.
BRENDA
How did I ever go out with someone so pathetic?
STEVE
Hey don’t blame me. Dave’s depression has a way of wearing off on you. In fact I’ve decided that I’m not gonna do it anymore. I’m off women. I’m going to become asexual.
BRENDA
Yeah, that’ll last.
STEVE
I’m serious. I’m tired of the games. I need to get in to myself again. I’m gonna spend time on me. I’m gonna work on my music so I can get out of this 9 to 5 life and start treating the women who throw themselves at me like garbage.
BRENDA
You could never do that. You’re far too nice a guy.
STEVE
See, that’s the problem. Girls don’t like the nice guy who treats them well. They like the asshole who beats them and treats them like shit.
BRENDA
That’s not true. I went out with you.
STEVE
Yeah, and it lasted a whole three months. Then you left me and went out with that asshole Tom. He treated you like shit but you stuck with him for a year.
BRENDA
It was only ten months (beat) and he didn’t treat me that bad.
STEVE
Yeah, right. The guy would get drunk every time you went out and he would tell the entire bar your favorite sexual position. Which would have helped me since I didn’t even know you liked doing "the crab."
BRENDA
I had never tried it before him.
STEVE
Then on your birthday the guy threw up at your party.
BRENDA
So, he wasn’t feeling well. It was a bad piece of chicken.
STEVE
Yeah, it wasn’t the seven shots of tequila. Didn’t he throw up on the cake?
BRENDA
Stop. I’ll just say it wasn’t the happiest of birthdays. But look who’s talking, who was your rebound girl?
STEVE
That was the shame of it all, I didn’t even get to piss you off by going out with someone else. I stayed a bachelor for a while after.
BRENDA
Enough with the reminiscing. God, Dave really is rubbing off on you.
STEVE
Sorry, like I said, I’m on the wagon. No more women.
BRENDA
I’m sure you’ll have second thoughts when you get tired of doing your own laundry if you know what I mean.
BRENDA makes "jerk-off" motion with her hand.
STEVE
Yes I do and I’ll tell ya, doing my own laundry is a lot better than having someone else do it for the price of my pride.
BRENDA
Oh, so now you have pride. When did that happen?
STEVE
When I saw that asshole you went out with after me.
BRENDA
Low blow.
STEVE
Is that an invitation?
Brenda gives him a fake smile and a dirty look. STEVE shrugs and smiles at her.
CUT TO:
INT. STEVE'S OFFICE - MONDAY AFTER LUNCH
STEVE is returning to his cubicle and sees the red light is on his phone for voice mail. He hits the "VOICE MAIL" button and we hear...
VOICE MAIL AUTOMATED VOICE
Please enter your password or if you entered the wrong----
STEVE cuts off the message by entering his password.
VOICE MAIL AUTOMATED VOICE
You have one new message. To listen to this message----
STEVE cuts off the message by entering "1."
VOICE MAIL AUTOMATED VOICE
Message one, today at 12:34 pm
MESSAGE
(AMY’s voice)
Hi Steve, it’s Amy. It’s been a long time and I wanted to see how you’re doing. Call me. I miss you and I think we should talk. In case you lost it my number is (215) 555-9854. Please call. I hope I hear from you soon. Bye.
STEVE is frowning as he hears the message and jots down the phone number. He then hits number 7 on the phone.
VOICE MAIL AUTOMATED VOICE
This message has been deleted. There are no more mess---
STEVE hangs up the phone sits down at his desk. He looks at his computer screen and then at the phone number. He waits a beat and then grabs the paper he wrote the number on and crumples it up. He slam-dunks it into the wastebasket and smiles, proud of himself for controlling himself.
CUT TO:
EXT. STEVE'S HOUSE - THURSDAY AT DUSK
Establishing shot of STEVE's two story suburban house with a wooden mailbox and decent landscaping. The flowers are budding in the early spring. You would expect a whole family to be living here, not a bachelor.
CUT TO:
INT. STEVE HOUSE - UPSTAIRS STUDIO - dusk
A bedroom has been turned into a home studio. A soundboard, various gear, speakers, and cables fill the room. A poster of Eddie Van Halen is right above his head on the wall. There is a keyboard-synthesizer and computer in the corner where STEVE is working on a computerized drum pattern. He is finishing up the drum part to a song he is working on. He finishes the part and smiles satisfied. He saves his work and shuts down the PC. He leaves the room. We follow STEVE down the hallway and the stairs. He grabs his leather jacket and turns the outside lights on as he leaves out the front door.
CUT TO:
INT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN - ThURSDAY NIGHT
Just as before STEVE is greeted by Terry at the front bar and proceeds to the back bar. It's a little more subdued from Saturday night. It is Trivia Night at the Village Tavern and 50 people or so are competing with each other in groups to win prizes for knowing the most trivial information. The game is being run by JOHN THE TRIVIA GUY, a tall brown haired man with an extra-medium build. STEVE is greeted by JOHN THE TRIVA GUY who hands him a few answer sheets and a pen knowing that STEVE likes to compete. STEVE finds a seat at the bar near two ladies, JENNIFER and SUZANNE, both in their mid-twenties. They seem to be involved in their own things so STEVE doesn’t pay them much attention. BILL has already poured STEVE’s Windsor and Coke and places it in front of him at the bar.
BILL
Well, if it isn’t the guy who’s too young to hang at my bar
STEVE
Hey that was Dave. I got no problem hanging here you know that.
BILL
Hey, when is your band playing here again? I forgot my calendar.
STEVE
Hello? We're playing here this Saturday. Man, no wonder you get crappy bands here. You forget them by the time they come back.
BILL
I was just wondering if I would need an extra bartender this weekend and it looks like I will since you guys have been drawing a better crowd lately.
STEVE
It was a magical thing we discovered called practice.
BILL
Well, it worked. You guys were slammin’ last time.
STEVE
Thanks man. Hey can I get a Burger and some Onion Rings?
BILL
You got it baby!
BILL turns to put the order into the computer and STEVE begins to participate in the trivia game. We begin to hear the questions.
JOHN THE TRIVIA GUY
(on mic)
Okay, new game. Please make sure your team name is at the bottom of your answer sheet. Question number one. Besides Oxygen and Nitrogen what is the most abundant element in the earth’s atmosphere?
STEVE knows this one and jots it down on his sheet. The girls next to him notice that he is quick with his answer and begin to peer over to his sheet then jot his answer on to theirs. STEVE notices and turns to the girls.
STEVE
Hey if you’re gonna use me like that you should at least buy me a drink.
JENNIFER
Well why don’t you join our team, cause we’re getting killed?
STEVE
(teasing)
Oh yeah, what’s in it for me?
JENNIFER
(returning the favor)
A chance to impress two lovely ladies.
STEVE
I thought I already did that with answer number one.
JENNIFER
Well you can continue to impress us by joining our team.
STEVE is obviously not bothered by the invitation.
STEVE
Okay I guess. Hi, my name’s Steve.
JENNIFER is the more traditionally pretty of the two but her friend has a hidden quality that makes her more attractive.
JENNIFER
Nice to meet you Steve. I’m Jen and my noisy friend is Suzanne.
SUZANNE
Hi!
STEVE is eager to impress the girls and tries to get back in to the game.
STEVE
Did we miss the next question?
JENNIFER
No, he’s just taking his time talking to that young lady over there.
STEVE turns to see JOHN THE TRIVIA GUY talking to an attractive young lady sitting at the end of the bar. He turns back to the girls
STEVE
Yeah, like he’s got any shot.
STEVE turns and shouts to JOHN THE TRIVIA GUY.
STEVE(cont'd)
Hey John, while we’re young!!
JOHN THE TRIVIA GUY turns and gives STEVE a quick look and looks to his clipboard for the next question
JOHN THE TRIVIA GUY
Okay, Question number two. Name the actor who played Thurston Howell the Third and also was the voice of Mister Magoo?
STEVE knows the answer and turns to JENNIFER so that she can write it on the answer sheet. He talks quietly so as not to be overheard.
STEVE
Jim Baccus
JENNIFER
Are you sure?
STEVE
When you grow up in Central New York there’s not much else to do during the winter except watch TV. And of the 4 channels we could get, one of them played Gilligan’s Island 6 times a day.
SUZANNE
You’re from New York?
STEVE
Well, I lived there for a few years. Not long enough to develop an accent. But long enough not to want to see another cow again, unless it’s on my plate of course.
BILL has arrived with Dan’s hamburger and onion rings.
STEVE
Hey, speak of the devil.
The girls laugh and BILL is left wondering if the jokes on him or not.
We see a montage of the team winning 4 prizes (pint glasses with beer logos) for the trivia contest and then pan across the bar at the number of trophies they have accumulated. They are all chatting now that the games have ended. STEVE has begun to take more of an interest in SUZANNE, as she appears to be a little more intelligent than JENNIFER is, and they share more of the same tastes. JENNIFER goes off to talk to someone else leaving SUZANNE and STEVE alone. JENNIFER's empty seat remains between them.
STEVE
Well, as you can see I’m filled with an unbelievable amount of useless knowledge.
SUZANNE
It wasn’t useless tonight.
STEVE
I guess not.
SUZANNE
So I guess you’re a regular here since everyone says hello and goodbye to you.
STEVE
Yeah, it's my Regal Beagle.
SUZANNE
What?
STEVE
You know, Three's company?
SUZANNE
(recollecting)
Oh yeah, you didn't have cable growing up did you?
STEVE
My folks thought it would encourage me to watch too much TV. Instead they encouraged me to watch too much bad TV.
SUZANNE
So you come here often then?
SUZANNE realizes that she just used a cliché. She is embarrassed and puts here hand to her face.
SUZANNE (cont'd)
God, that sounds like a bad pick-up line.
STEVE
That's okay. Well, it’s close to home and my band plays here every month.
SUZANNE
Oh, you’re in a band?
STEVE
It’s no big deal, just a bunch of college buddies who get together to play, drink and get away from their wives.
SUZANNE
Wait a minute, you’re married?
STEVE
Actually I’m the only bachelor in the band. That way I get all the groupies.
SUZANNE is intrigued and amused.
SUZANNE
Oh, you have groupies?
STEVE
No (beat) but when we get some they’re all mine.
SUZANNE
I don’t believe you. Hey Bartender!
BILL approaches from the end of the bar
BILL
What’s up?
SUZANNE
Is Steve here really in a band?
BILL
Yeah, they’re good too.
STEVE
Thanks buddy, looking for that bigger tip tonight?
BILL
Bet your ass.
BILL spots another customer waiting for a drink and walks away. SUZANNE is more interested.
SUZANNE
Cool. So when are you guys playing next?
STEVE
Actually we are playing here this Saturday. You should come out and see some of my other skills, other than useless knowledge.
SUZANNE
Maybe I will.
SUZANNE realizes she has forgotten to be cool for a second. She quickly puts up her guard again.
SUZANNE (cont'd)
I mean maybe Jen and I will come. I think we have another party we're going to but I’ll see if we can stop by.
STEVE
Cool. I hope you'll make it out.
STEVE looks at his watch and it reads 11:32. He realizes that he’ll be worth nothing tomorrow if he doesn’t get home to sleep. He puts down his drink, puts money on the bar for a tip and hops off his stool.
STEVE
Well Suzanne, I gotta get home but it was a pleasure meeting you and I hope to see you Saturday.
SUZANNE
Oh, leaving so soon?
STEVE
Yeah, gotta be somewhat functional in the morning. Take care. Oh, and tell your friend I said goodbye
SUZANNE
Okay, Bye!
STEVE leaves her thinking. And JENNIFER returns.
JENNIFER
Steve left?
SUZANNE is looking off into space thinking about STEVE.
SUZANNE
(looking into space)
Yeah!
JENNIFER
Hey, and he left us all the prizes. Cool!
SUZANNE pauses for a moment still staring into space and then snaps back to reality and turns to JENNIFER.
SUZANNE
What are you doing Saturday?
FADE TO:
INT. STEVE’S HOUSE - LATER THURSDAY NIGHT
We see the door open as STEVE steps into the main hallway, turns to remove his keys, locks the door again and shuts it behind him. He walks into the kitchen, tosses his keys on the table and hangs his coat on a chair. He walks over to the answering machine on the counter and sees that the light is flashing. He hits the button on the machine and we hear the tape rewind. The room is then filled with BRENDA’s voice.
BRENDA
(voice from answering machine)
Hey Steve it’s me. It’s like 8:15 but I guess you’re at the Village for trivia night. God you’re predictable. Give me a call if you don’t get in too late. I wanted to see what you’re doing tomorrow night. I need to get out of my house like normal human beings do. Oh well, call me! Bye!
We hear a triple beep on the machine indicating that this was the last message. STEVE picks up the cordless phone right next to the machine and hits a quick dial button. We hear the ringing of the person he’s calling, then it picks up. BRENDA sounds as if she was awakened by the call.
BRENDA
Hello?
STEVE
Hey baby I’m returning your call
BRENDA was definitely awakened by the call and is a little disoriented. We inter-cut between STEVE on the phone at his house and BRENDA on the phone in her bedroom.
BRENDA
Huh? I said only to call if it wasn’t too late Steve! It’s...
There is a pause as BRENDA looks towards here nightstand for the time.
BRENDA(cont'd)
...11:45!
STEVE
Hey that’s not too late for me. You know you’re really going to have to qualify your statements better when you leave me messages.
BRENDA
God you’re an asshole. Why do I bother calling you!
STEVE
Because I’m the only person you think is more pathetic than yourself and it makes you feel better to see me miserable in my pathetic life or you’re still deeply infatuated with me and long for me to come over and get busy with you all night long. Speaking of that, what are you wearing right now?
BRENDA
Yeah, like I would tell you. Besides, I think it’s more like the first one.
STEVE
Oh, no longer am I the pathetic loser I was earlier this week.
BRENDA
Oh, and why not?
STEVE
Because I just met a girl.
BRENDA
Are you sure she was a girl?
STEVE
100 percent.
BRENDA
What happened to you swearing off women?
STEVE
I’m off the wagon now baby!
BRENDA
Wow, she must be some girl. So talk. What’s her story?
STEVE
She’s nice, smart, not like the traditionally beautiful type but you know the kind of girl that I like.
BRENDA
Big boobs, huh?
STEVE
No, not really that’s the strange thing. She’s exactly not my ideal girl, which is perfect.
BRENDA
Quite a 360 for you!
STEVE
Actually it’s a 180. If it were a 360 I’d be facing the same direction. I hate when people use expressions they don’t understand
BRENDA
Sorry, I’ll work on that. So did you get digits?
STEVE
No.
BRENDA
Did you ask her out?
STEVE
No.
BRENDA
So you have no idea when or where you’re gonna see this girl again?
STEVE
I invited her out to the show Saturday night.
BRENDA
Oh and you expect her to sit at the front table adoring you all night.
STEVE
It would be nice, but no. I just wanted to play it a little cool. I always jump right in and look like an ass.
BRENDA
That’s what guys are supposed to do, that’s why it’s so much fun for us.
STEVE
Well, not this time sister. She’s coming to me.
BRENDA
I hope so. So what are we doing tomorrow?
STEVE
I was thinking, dinner, movie and then hot sex.
BRENDA
Well, you’ll get two-thirds of that.
STEVE
Okay, forget the movie, the lines are always too long anyway!
BRENDA is fed up but amused.
BRENDA
I'm sure! I’ll talk to you tomorrow!
STEVE
(laughing)
All right baby, goodnight!
STEVE hangs up the phone still amused and walks towards the camera on his way to the stairs.
STEVE
(to himself)
I thought it was very amusing
STEVE hits the kitchen light and heads towards us on his way to the stairs.
fade TO:
EXT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN - SATURDAY NIGHT
The parking lot is filled with cars. Several people are approaching the building and heading in the door.
CUT TO:
INT. The Village Tavern - Saturday Night
Close-up of a guitarist’s fingers as he plays a bluesy solo. We zoom out to reveal that it is STEVE playing the solo. We cut between shots of the band members playing "Sweet Home Chicago" and shots of the people at the tables and bar talking, drinking and enjoying themselves. The song finishes to a loud round of applause. STEVE addresses the crowd on mic from the stage.
STEVE
Thank you very much. We’re gonna take a little break. But stick around ‘cause we’ll be back. Thanks again!
The applause continues and fades into the din of bar noise. The jukebox kicks on while the band takes a break. STEVE shakes hands with the other band members saying "Nice set" and other small talk. STEVE steps to the end of the stage and gives one more glance while he’s at the heightened position to survey the bar for signs of SUZANNE. He is visually disappointed but not completely bummed out. He notices BRENDA and DAVE at the bar and steps down to join them. BRENDA hands STEVE a drink.
BRENDA
You guys sound great tonight. What happened?
STEVE
Thanks a lot.
STEVE totally ignores here back-handed compliment, turns to DAVE and offers him a handshake.
STEVE
Hey man, I didn’t think you were coming out tonight. I guess there were enough girls your age here tonight, eh?
DAVE
Nah, Brenda dragged me out. I just can’t say no to a woman who’s as desperate as she is.
BRENDA turns to DAVE with severe attitude and smacks his arm. DAVE feigns that he is seriously injured by her attack.
BRENDA
Fuck you! I was doing you a favor, be careful it may be the last.
STEVE
(jokingly)
All right. Don’t make me separate you two. I’ll catch you in a bit. I gotta take care of some business.
STEVE walks past his friends and heads for the bathrooms, which are on the other side of the bar’s main lobby. STEVE continues to search the bar for SUZANNE but there is no sign of her.
FADE TO:
INT. The Village Tavern - LATER Saturday Night
STEVE and the band are on stage playing their last set. STEVE has seemingly resigned himself that SUZANNE will be a "no show" for tonight as is enjoying jamming with his buddies. STEVE is singing a song as he spots SUZANNE and JENNIFER walk in to the back bar area. He makes eye contact with SUZANNE for a split-second, cracks a smile and breaks away from the microphone for a guitar solo. SUZANNE and JENNIFER take seats that have just become available at the bar and order a drink. The band plays a few more songs, which we fade through, and ends the night with a ripping version of the Beatles’ "Hard Day’s Night." The crowd applauds, loudly yelling for more.
STEVE steps off the stage and heads directly for BRENDA and DAVE who are about 10 feet down the bar from SUZANNE and JENNIFER trying to play it cool and avoid SUZANNE for a minute or so.
STEVE
Hey, play it cool, but she’s here.
BRENDA
Where?
STEVE
Five seats down, in the pink sweater.
BRENDA and DAVE totally ignore STEVE’s instructions and turn to look at SUZANNE. Luckily she has turned to talk to JENNIFER. STEVE grabs them both by the soldier.
STEVE
Will you guys calm down please?
DAVE
She’s cute man, but I like the friend better.
STEVE
(Sarcastically)
Great, I’ll see if we can double date sometime.
BRENDA
So, what are you waiting for?
STEVE
Well, she was playing it cool by coming in during the last set, so I’m gonna play it cool and bullshit with you guys for a while
BRENDA
Oh, grow up please.
STEVE
I didn’t make the rules up but I gotta play the game
DAVE
I’m behind you buddy, you sit back here and make her sweat.
BRENDA
Don’t encourage him please!
DAVE
Hey if he’s gonna get me a date with her friend, I’m behind him all the way. (To STEVE) I'll be your wingman any time.
DAVE offers his hand to STEVE. STEVE pauses amused by the situation and then shakes his hand.
STEVE
(sarcastic)
So glad to have your undying support.
STEVE raises his hand and motions to BILL to get his attention.
STEVE
Hey Bill!
BILL
Yeah man!
BILL approaches STEVE at the bar
STEVE
Gimme another and buy those two ladies a round on me.
BILL
You got it man!
STEVE smiles very happy with himself. BRENDA rolls her eyes and DAVE gives STEVE a little "thumbs-up" sign behind her back. STEVE then turns casually and walks towards the girls. He makes his way down the bar dodging a glance from SUZANNE while attempting to sneak up on her. He is just behind them when BILL walks up with their drinks and puts them on the bar in front of them.
BILL
These are from the gentleman.
SUZANNE
Which one?
BILL points past them and we turn to see that STEVE is directly behind them smiling. SUZANNE is trying to be cool and acts as if this is a coincidence.
SUZANNE
Oh, Hi! I forgot your band was playing here tonight.
STEVE looks at JENNIFER a little shocked. But JENNIFER leans in to break SUZANNE's story.
JENNIFER
Yeah right! It’s all you talked about yesterday.
SUZANNE playfully hits JENNIFER in the arm.
SUZANNE
Shut up!
SUZANNE turns back to STEVE
SUZANNE(cont'd)
Okay, so I was looking forward to it.
STEVE
That’s okay, I was thinking you weren’t going to show. Trying to be ultra-fashionably late?
SUZANNE
Well Jen was running late from work and I didn’t want to go without her.
JENNIFER
Sorry, not all of us have those cushy 9 to 5 jobs.
STEVE
Well, that’s all right you’re here now.
STEVE raises his glass, and the girls raise theirs to meet his. They drink.
FADE TO:
INT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN - SATURDAY NIGHT after closing
From overhead we see Bill cleaning up behind the bar. Only STEVE and SUZANNE remain at a table while DAVE and JENNIFER talk at the otherwise empty bar.
SUZANNE
Don’t they normally kick you guys out of here by now?
STEVE
Nah, We’ve helped Bill close this bar more times than I can count.
SUZANNE
What are you an alcoholic?
STEVE
(laughs)
No, alcoholics go to meetings. I'm just a drunk.
STEVE pauses for a reaction, doesn't get the laugh he wanted. SUZANNE is not sure if this is a joke or not.
SUZANNE
That's nice.
STEVE tries to make a quick recovery and laughs off her reaction.
STEVE
Apparently you're not a fan of my addiction humor. Actually I’m usually just waiting around to sober up so I can drive Dave home.
SUZANNE
Some designated driver.
STEVE
Yeah, well I take my job very seriously.
SUZANNE
So tell me about your buddy Dave. Is Jen okay with him?
STEVE
Sure, I mean I got my eye on him to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.
SUZANNE
That’s not what I meant.
STEVE
What did you mean?
SUZANNE
I meant if I was to leave here with you and have your buddy take care of her would she be okay?
STEVE is much more positive now; given the opportunity he has been granted.
STEVE
Sure! You kidding? He’s a total Boy Scout.
SUZANNE
(laughing)
I figured you say that.
STEVE
No, seriously, she'll be fine. (beat) I really like you a lot. But I don’t want to rush in to the whole back to my place thing.
SUZANNE
(Jokingly acting shocked)
What do you think of me? I was just looking maybe to go somewhere else to get a cup of coffee or something.
STEVE
Well, I don’t drink coffee. But I’m sure I can think of something.
STEVE turns towards the bar where DAVE is seated with JENNIFER.
STEVE
Dave!
DAVE turns from his conversation with JENNIFER.
DAVE
Yeah?
STEVE
Jen’s your ride. We’re gonna go hit the Diner.
DAVE
Well, I’m kinda hungry too.
STEVE
Well, maybe you can talk Jen in to bringing your ass to Denny’s.
DAVE looks at JENNIFER and she smiles encouragingly. They turn back to STEVE who is putting on his coat and walking towards them at the bar.
JENNIFER
I think we’ll figure something out.
STEVE and SUZANNE say goodbye to DAVE and JENNIFER at the bar and STEVE turns to BILL.
STEVE
BILL thanks for letting us hang man!
BILL
Anytime buddy! I’ll see you next time!
STEVE
Late!
STEVE grabs SUZANNE’s hand and leads her out through the front bar and out the door.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN - SATURDAY NIGHT after closing
STEVE and SUZANNE walk hand-in-hand towards STEVE's car.
SUZANNE
Gee, I think Jen really likes your buddy Dave?
STEVE
What kind of guys does she usually go for?
SUZANNE
She always goes for the guys with low self-esteem who kiss her ass for even talking to them.
STEVE stops in the parking lot and looks at SUZANNE. Then he glances through the front window of the bar and sees Jen and Dave kissing at the bar.
STEVE
Well, maybe she really does like him then.
They share a laugh and approach STEVE’s car. STEVE unlocks her car door and lets her in. He walks around the back of the car and peers through the back window and watches as SUZANNE reaches over to unlock his door.
STEVE
(to himself)
Yes!
STEVE gets in the car and looks at her. He smiles as he puts the key in the ignition and starts the car.
SUZANNE
What?
STEVE
Did you ever see the movie, A Bronx Tale?
SUZANNE
(completely unaware)
No. Why?
STEVE
Nothing, never mind.
STEVE throws the car in to reverse, backs up, and then they drive away.
FADE TO:
EXT. SUZANNE’S APARTMENT - Near SUNRISE, SUNDAY
STEVE and SUZANNE are in the car and they have both become awkwardly quiet.
STEVE
Well, here we are.
SUZANNE
Here we are.
Suddenly, the mood gets a little heavier in the car as STEVE and SUZANNE are anxious about how the night will end. STEVE breaks the silence.
STEVE
We’ve been talking all night without a break. So either this means there’s some new tension in the air or we’ve simply run out of things to say.
SUZANNE
Well, I’ve got something to say.
STEVE
I'm all ears.
SUZANNE
I had a great time tonight and I don’t want it to end. So, do you wanna come upstairs?
STEVE pauses. SUZANNE waits for his answer and appears very nervous. She doesn't wait any longer. She leans in and kisses STEVE. STEVE returns her kiss and they continue to make out. They stop and look into each other’s eyes. STEVE's gaze drops.
STEVE
I’d love to, but...
SUZANNE
But what?
STEVE
I just don’t want to rush it. But I had a really great time tonight.
SUZANNE is disappointed.
SUZANNE
Are you sure?
STEVE
Yes. (beat) I’m sure I’ll kick myself when I get home, but I shouldn’t.
SUZANNE
Okay, I understand.
She leans in again and they begin to make out again. SUZANNE then pulls away and opens her door, stepping out.
SUZANNE
Well, I better go.
STEVE doesn't want to end the night on a down note.
STEVE
Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?
SUZANNE
Today is tomorrow.
STEVE
Okay, what are you doing later today?
SUZANNE
(Breaking a smile)
Waiting for you to call.
STEVE
Well it helps if I have your number.
SUZANNE
Don’t worry you’ll find it. Goodnight!
SUZANNE closes the door giggling and runs up the stairs to her apartment. STEVE is left wondering what she meant by that. He starts searching her seat and on the floor but doesn’t find anything. He sits back in his seat and ponders. He looks up at her visor and sees a little white piece of paper peering out of the visor. He pulls the visor down and finds her business card. He flips it over and it reads, "Congratulations! Call Me (215) 555-9826." STEVE smiles, puts the card in his shirt pocket and drives away. The sun is starting to come out. They have been out all night.
FADE TO:
INT. STEVE's BEDROOM - EarLY SUNDAY AFTERNOON
We pan from STEVE's window to his bed. STEVE is waking up from the sun shining through his window. It is a beautiful day outside but STEVE has missed a lot of it. He sits up in bed and rubs his eyes. He reaches for the remote control and turns the TV in his room on to MTV. The Real World is on but not for long as he changes the channel to VH1. Behind The Music is on.
STEVE
(to himself)
Doesn't anyone play videos anymore?
STEVE finally settles on a news station and gets out of bed. He gets as far as his dresser and reaches over to inspect the card SUZANNE left for him earlier that morning. He can't keep the grin of his face. He then breaks out in to a freestyle dance move, which looks extremely amusing considering he's only wearing boxer shorts and a t-shirt. He stops and puts the card back on the dresser and heads for the bathroom. He throws in another move along the way.
fADE TO:
INT. SUZANNE'S BEDROOM - early SUNDAY afternoon
SUZANNE has already taken a shower and is wearing a bathrobe. She is sitting at her mirror drying and brushing her hair. The phone rings. She smiles thinking that it's STEVE. She turns the blow dryer off and grabs the cordless telephone from the nightstand.
SUZANNE
Hello?
JENNIFER
Good Morning!
SUZANNE
(Disappointed)
Oh, hi.
JENNIFER
Wow, I guess I don't have to ask how you're night was.
SUZANNE
No, it was great. I just thought that you were him calling.
JENNIFER
I thought maybe I'd call and get your machine, if you know what I mean.
SUZANNE
I tried, but he wanted to wait.
JENNIFER
Is he human?
SUZANNE
Apparently not. But I won't let him pull that again. How about you? Are you calling from Dave's.
JENNIFER
No, I figured I'd make him wait. But it took a lot of self-control.
CUT TO:
INT. JENNIFER'S BEDROOM - early SUNDAY afternoon
We start with a medium shot of JENNIFER still in bed.
SUZANNE
I'm proud of you. I wasn't strong enough.
JENNIFER
Well, I try not to make it too easy.
We zoom out to reveal that DAVE is asleep in bed next to JENNIFER. He obviously spent the night. The room is in disarray, clothes are thrown about the room and only one bedsheet covers the two of them in bed.
JENNIFER (cont'd)
So, what are you doing tonight?
SUZANNE
Hopefully, Steve will call and we'll go out. After last night I'm pretty sure he will.
JENNIFER
Well alright! Imagine that, both of us, desperate but unfulfilled. Too bad.
DAVE stirs next to her and can be heard.
SUZANNE
What was that?
JENNIFER
(quickly)
Oh, just the TV. (beat) I'll let you go. Let me know how things go with Steve.
SUZANNE
Okay, bye.
They both hang up. DAVE gets up and looks at JENNIFER.
DAVE
Good morning beautiful.
JENNIFER
More like good afternoon darling.
DAVE leans over and gives JENNIFER a short kiss on the lips.
DAVE
Wow, what time is it?
JENNIFER
I don't know. Somehow we managed to rip the clock out of the wall last night.
DAVE
Really? Well let's see if we can get that plugged in again.
DAVE leans in and kisses her deeply. They start getting more passionate. JENNIFER's tries to resist but her cool is lost. She's in.
JENNIFER
Okay, three times ties the record for me.
DAVE
Records were made to be broken.
They embrace again beginning another session.
FADE TO:
INT. RESTAURANT - SUNDAY NIGHT
STEVE and SUZANNE are sitting at a table finishing their salads in a solarium style eating area. The parking lot can be seen outside the window. Occasionally headlights shine through the window at them.
STEVE
I can't believe Dave and Jen are digging each other. We can all double date now. It's a regular teen drama around here.
SUZANNE
Yes, very Saved By The Bell.
STEVE
Do you see me as Slater or Zack?
SUZANNE
Oh, you're a definite Zack.
STEVE
You'd just rather be Tiffani-Amber Thiessen than Elizabeth Berkley.
SUZANNE
Maybe, especially after Showgirls. At least Tiffani made it to 90210.
STEVE
Yeah, but she was a bad girl.
SUZANNE
How do you know I'm not?
STEVE
I don't, but how do you know I'm not the tough Slater-type.
SUZANNE
I just can't imagine you wearing the baggy pants like he did.
STEVE
Glad to hear it's just the fashion-sense that separates us.
SUZANNE
Well, that and the jock attitude.
STEVE
I played ice hockey for a couple years.
SUZANNE
Well, I played field hockey.
STEVE
Really? I always liked girls in knee socks and plaid skirts.
SUZANNE
I'll remember that.
STEVE
So will I.
The waitress walks up to the table with their entrees.
FADE TO:
BEGIN 1ST DATE MONTAGE SEQUENCE WITH MUSIC
EXT. MOVIE THEATRE - SUNDAY evening
STEVE and SUZANNE are at the ticket counter. STEVE is eyeing the action and comedy movies while SUZANNE is looking for the "chic-flicks." They end up seeing the movie she wants to see. STEVE feigns that he is really excited about seeing this movie.
CUT TO:
INT. MOVIE THEATRE - SUNDAY NIGHT
STEVE is trying to pay attention to the movie. He can't stop looking over to stare at SUZANNE. She notices and looks back, smiles and then gives him a short kiss. Then she turns her attention back to the screen. STEVE smiles then reaches down and slowly creeps to her hand. Before he reaches it, she lifts her hand to brush her hair back then drops her hand back on top of STEVE's grabbing it firmly. She turns and smiles at him again. She knew all along what he was trying to do.
CUT TO:
EXT. MOVIE THEATRE PARKING LOT - SUNDAY late night
STEVE and SUZANNE are walking to his car holding hands. SUZANNE stops and notices her shoe is untied. STEVE looks down and before she can kneel down to tie the shoe STEVE drops to his knee to tie it for her. She is crushed. He stands up and we see her mouth, "Thank you." STEVE says, "Your Welcome." STEVE then turns around and uses the painted white line of the parking lot as a mock tightrope. He pretends to lose his balance and almost fall. SUZANNE laughs and then joins him.
FADE TO:
END 1st date MONTAGE SEQUENCE WITH MUSIC
EXT. SUZANNE'S APARTMENT - LATE SUNDAY NIGHT
STEVE's car pulls up to the apartment and stops at the curb in front of SUZANNE's apartment.
CUT TO:
INT. STEVE'S CAR - late SUNDAY NIGHT
SUZANNE
Well, here we are again.
STEVE
Yep!
SUZANNE
Now, would you like to come up?
STEVE
(playful)
You know it is Sunday, I have to work tomorrow.
SUZANNE
Oh my God! I don’t think I can take continued rejection like this. You’re gonna give me a complex.
STEVE
Well, I guess I could go in just to make sure there aren’t any intruders or anything like that.
SUZANNE is a tired of STEVE's excuses and pokes fun at him.
SUZANNE
(sarcastic)
Right, cause this is a really high crime area
STEVE
Okay, no need for an excuse. I’m coming up!
SUZANNE
(exasperated)
Thank God!
STEVE and SUZANNE get out of the car. STEVE pauses at the back of the car. SUZANNE grabs his hand and leads him up the stairs.
SUZANNE
(playful but seductive)
Come on!
SUZANNE unlocks the door and they enter the apartment. We see lights go on full in the apartment. They stay bright for a few seconds then the lights are dimmed.
FADE TO:
INT. STEVE’S HOUSE - MONDAY MORNING
STEVE is watching TV while sitting on his couch. The phone rings and he answer’s it.
STEVE
Hello.
BRENDA
(on phone)
Hey what’s up, you’re not at work today. Are you sick?
STEVE
Oh, are those maternal instincts kicking in? No, I just didn’t feel like coming in today.
BRENDA
Things didn’t go well with your girl the other night?
STEVE
Actually the reason I didn’t feel like coming in today was that I was over her place real late last night.
BRENDA
You dog! Don’t tell me she surrendered already?
STEVE
I tell no tales! Let’s just say that we have become very close in the past 48 hours.
BRENDA
Oh boy! You’re in love!
STEVE
Let’s not use the L-word just yet okay. I’m just gonna say that I’m currently very pleased with our relationship progress so far.
BRENDA
Wow! I want details!
STEVE
Too bad baby! It’s not gonna happen.
BRENDA
Well, then what’s she like?
STEVE
She’s great! I mean, she’s smart, beautiful and she’s a really good person. You know, she’s everything I’m not.
BRENDA
Listen to you! You must have gotten some cause you’re talking like a chick.
STEVE
You’re just mad cause I never talked that way about you.
BRENDA
Yeah well, you’re a lucky man. How did Dave do after I left?
STEVE
I don’t know. I haven’t talked to him since Saturday. But when I left he was getting pretty close with Suzanne’s friend Jen.
BRENDA
Wow, the two of you scoring on the same night. Must have been a full moon.
STEVE
Looks like you’re the only one who went home alone.
BRENDA
Thanks for reminding me. Well, I guess you’re gonna see her tonight?
STEVE
No, I told her we should take a night off.
BRENDA
Oh good. I’ll pick up some dinner for both of us and stop over later then.
STEVE
Okay, I just got some new movies so you can pick one to watch if you want.
BRENDA
Cool, you know how I love your home theatre.
STEVE
Hey I can’t help that I'm in to my media!
BRENDA
All right, I’ll see you in a couple of hours.
STEVE
Okay, (beat) hey! No Chinese food!
BRENDA
Fine! Goodbye!
STEVE
Bye!
STEVE hangs up the phone, sighs contently and switches the channel with his remote.
CUT TO:
INT. BENNIGAN'S RESTAURANT - SATURDAY AFTERNOON
Kids mill around the waiting area. Their parents sit on the seats waiting for a table. One kid is begging his mother for a quarter to play the video game while they wait.
KID
C'mon Mom, just one game?
MOTHER
No, we're gonna be sitting in a minute and I don't want to be waiting for you.
KID
That sucks!
MOTHER
(sternly)
What did I tell you about using that kind of language?
KID
That only dumb people use those words because they're not smart enough to find better words to use.
MOTHER
That's right. Do you wanna sound like an idiot?
CUT TO:
INT. BENNIGAN'S RESTAURANT BAR - SATURDAY AFTERNOON
STEVE and DAVE are sitting at the bar watching the Philadelphia Flyers hockey game. he bar is busy but not crowded.
DAVE
Man, these guys suck! What happened? Did someone forget their wake up call?
DAVE yells at the TV as if the players could hear him through it.
DAVE(cont'd)
Hit Him!
STEVE
They’re playing like a bunch of little bitches! They should change the standard uniform to a skirt.
DAVE
We gotta get down to a game this year.
STEVE
What, so you can berate them in person for 80 bucks? That's a little too much to pay for a show I can see for free right here.
DAVE
And don’t forget to add in the five-dollar beers.
Dave grabs a handful of popcorn from the basket on the bar and non-chalantly changes the subject.
DAVE
Hey, did you get some off that Suzanne chick last Saturday?
STEVE
Why, did you get some off Jen?
DAVE
I asked you first.
STEVE
She offered, but I told her I wanted to wait.
DAVE
Who’s the bitch now?
STEVE
Fuck you man! I actually care about this girl. I didn’t want to bring up to that level that first night.
DAVE
Man, I don’t know how you do it, or why for that matter. Why wait?
STEVE
It’s called respect dude, and you know me. I’m all about respect.
DAVE
Respect my ass. It’s all part of your game.
STEVE
Oh, like I’m involved in some no first-date-sex conspiracy.
DAVE
I just don’t get that. The girl asks you to have sex. You didn’t even have to beg.
STEVE
Hey, just cause you’re not as fortunate as I am.
DAVE
Who says so?
STEVE
Don’t tell me Jen gave you some lovin’.
DAVE
Damn right!
STEVE
Man, I hope you called her afterwards.
DAVE
Well, I kinda had to.
STEVE turns to look at DAVE not understanding what he means.
DAVE
Because that girl’s body’s like heroine man. I can’t get enough!
DAVE pulls up his sleeve and taps his inner arm mimicking the motions of a junkie preparing to shoot up.
STEVE
What a romantic.
DAVE
Hey just cause I said she's great in bed doesn’t mean I don’t really like her. I just don’t know if she likes me enough.
STEVE
Well how couldn’t she? (beat) So I take it you’ve seen her since Saturday.
DAVE
Every night this week.
STEVE
Holy shit! I was wondering why you didn’t call me. So why aren’t you with her now?
DAVE
She had to work. She said she’d page me when she was done.
STEVE
That must be some good lovin’. That girl’s got the pager number so she can summon her boy whenever she wants. So why don’t you get serious with this girl?
DAVE
We just haven’t had time to talk about it. I never had a relationship with a girl who loves sex as much as I do. The girl needs it man.
DAVE makes a fist to emphasize that Jen "loves sex."
STEVE
Well I’m happy for you, (beat) for both of you. (beat) So if you've got a girl why are we watching the game here instead of the Village?
DAVE
Well, I know Hobie will be there.
STEVE
Yeah, so?
DAVE
I owe him money.
STEVE
He schooled you on the video golf game again didn't he?
DAVE
Nah, that machine's fucked up. One putt cost me twenty bucks.
STEVE
So, I'm watching the Flyers at some lame theme restaurant because you can't sink a putt on a video game.
DAVE
Sad to say. (beat) So where’s Suzanne tonight? She dump you when you rejected her?
STEVE
Nah, she said she had a previous engagement tonight.
DAVE
What kind of engagement?
STEVE
I don’t know. She said she had to do something for her mother.
The crowd all cheers and rises as the Flyers score a goal on TV. The bartender is going down the bar "high-fiving" patrons.
STEVE
Finally!
DAVE
Yeah baby, Love John LeClair!
STEVE
One - Nil, One - Nil!
We see DAVE look down to his belt as his beeper is going off. He grabs it off his belt and looks at the number. A smile comes to his face.
DAVE
School’s out baby!
STEVE
Nice! Well you better run, you don’t want to miss a chance at getting your fix.
DAVE
Damn right! I’ll be back in a minute!
DAVE heads out of frame to the pay phone to call JENNIFER.
STEVE
(shakes his head)
That’s a damn shame!
STEVE is finishing his drink and looks down the bar. From his seat he can see the restaurant lobby where he sees SUZANNE with another man being lead by the hostess to a table in the restaurant section. He gets up and walks in to the lobby where DAVE is making his phone call. DAVE sees STEVE and seems to empathize with him with his facial expression. He saw SUZANNE but she did not notice him. STEVE walks down the hall and peers around the corner to see SUZANNE sitting with another man ordering drinks from the waitress. He looks for a second and then turns away, walks past DAVE, who is just finishing his call, and heads directly in to the men’s room.
DAVE
(on the phone)
I'll see you in a little bit.
DAVE hangs up the pay phone and follows STEVE in to the bathroom.
CUT TO:
INT. BENNIGAN's BATHROOM - SATURDAY AFTERNOON
STEVE is leaning on the sink with his head down. DAVE enters.
DAVE
All right Steve, take it easy. We don’t know the situation here.
STEVE
Well, my mother never asked me to take some guy out as a favor, so I’m thinking she lied to me.
DAVE
How do you know that’s not her brother out there? You don’t know the situation, so don’t jump to conclusions here.
STEVE stands up, looks in the mirror and then looks to DAVE.
STEVE
You’re right. I’ll just walk out there and ask her what’s going on.
STEVE starts to head to the door. DAVE grabs his arm to hold him back.
DAVE
Hold on! That ain’t the move man. You have to calm down and get out of here. Go home. Go the Village. But don’t cause a scene like that could create. You’ve only known this girl a week.
STEVE comes to his senses, seemingly liberated by DAVE's last statement and looks at himself in the bathroom mirror.
STEVE
You’re right. We’re not exclusive. She can go out if she wants to.
DAVE encourages his mood change.
DAVE
Right. It’s not like you slept with her?
This breaks the momentum. STEVE turns to DAVE
STEVE
I did sleep with her.
DAVE is taken aback.
DAVE
What, you said you didn’t.
STEVE
We went out Sunday night too. We ended up back at her place.
DAVE
Oh. (beat) Well, it’s still not like marriage or anything
STEVE
Yeah, and I can go out and hook-up if I want to.
DAVE
(more encouraging)
Right.
STEVE
I could go out...
A male patron opens the bathroom door and begins to enter.
STEVE(cont'd)
...and fuck anything that moves!
DAVE
Right!
The man doesn't even have both feet in to the room. He looks at the two of them, says nothing, and then turns and walks back out. They both look to the door and then at each other. They break out in laughter at the hilarity of the situation.
STEVE
(getting serious)
Thanks man, you’re a good friend. Let’s get outta here and go to the Village. I'll cover you if we run in to Hobie.
DAVE
Uh, sorry. I’m going to see Jen. Gotta get my fix.
DAVE slaps his arm again like a junkie tapping for a vein.
STEVE
Way to be there for me.
DAVE
Hey, I came in here after you didn’t I.
STEVE smiles and they walk out of the bathroom towards the bar.
DAVE
If you run in to Hobie could you still cover me?
His smile fades as he glances back towards the dining room. We can see SUZANNE in the background with her date talking to the waitress.
FADE TO:
INT. STEVE’S HOUSE - STEVE's BEDROOM LATER THAT NIGHT
STEVE is in bed watching TV. The phone rings and STEVE checks the caller ID. It's SUZANNE. He pauses and then picks up the phone.
STEVE
(unenthusiastic)
Hello.
SUZANNE
(on the phone)
Hello, how you doing?
STEVE is trying to restrain himself.
STEVE
Fine, how was your mother?
SUZANNE
My mother? Oh, that was fine.
STEVE
Really, what kind of favor did you have to do for her, babysit?
SUZANNE
No, she needed help with, uh, church stuff?
STEVE can't hold back.
STEVE
Look, Suzanne I know we’ve only being seeing each other for a week now, but I hate when people lie to me. Especially someone I'm dating.
SUZANNE
What do you mean?
STEVE
I saw you at Bennigan's with that other guy!
SUZANNE
Oh, God.
STEVE
Now I know we never talked about being anything exclusive, but I was hoping that you were feeling like I was. Obviously I was wrong and that’s a shame.
SUZANNE
Wait, let me explain.
STEVE
Promise you won’t lie? If you’ve got an explanation, please I want to hear it. But don’t lie to me.
SUZANNE
Technically I didn’t lie.
STEVE
Oh, technically!
SUZANNE
Let me finish. My mother set me up with this guy a month ago. He goes to her church and she thought he was a nice guy. I agreed to go out with him to get her off my back. I totally forgot about it until yesterday when she called and she didn’t let me get a word in to tell her about you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the other day, but things were going so well, I didn’t want to ruin it.
STEVE
Well, you did ruin it. Trust is very important to me. People throw the word love around so much these days that it almost doesn’t mean anything. But, trust isn’t a word that people use that way. That’s because it’s more important.
SUZANNE
What are you saying?
STEVE
I’m saying I don’t know what to do here. I like you a lot Suzanne, but you’ve already lied to me. I want to be able to trust you.
SUZANNE
I’m sorry. This was a one-time thing I couldn't get out of. Look, I really care about you Steve and I don’t want to stop this. Can you forgive me?
STEVE is relieved and is lightening up.
STEVE
I guess. You mother didn’t hook you up with any other guys did she?
SUZANNE
No!
STEVE
And I’m guessing that this guy didn’t charm the pants off you?
SUZANNE
Sure he did, but he wasn’t that good in bed, so I want to stay with you.
STEVE
What?
SUZANNE
I’m kidding. The guy was a total square. He was telling me about his bible study classes and all that stuff. The guy gave me a lecture about the evils of alcohol when I ordered a beer.
STEVE
Well, he’s right. That beer is the devil’s handiwork.
SUZANNE
I drank it just to spite him. I should have ordered a shot. Did you see what he was wearing?
STEVE
Okay, enough about this guy. Look, I’m tired and I was going to go to sleep.
SUZANNE
You want some company?
STEVE
(playfully)
I don’t know I’m kinda tired.
SUZANNE
I see. You want me to beg.
STEVE
Like a dog.
SUZANNE
Steve, can I please come over there and let you have your way with me all night long?
STEVE
Well, (beat) you did say please.
SUZANNE
Yes I did.
STEVE
All right, get your ass over here.
SUZANNE
Is that the only part you want?
STEVE
No, but I figured the rest of you would be attached. And wear something nice.
SUZANNE
Ooh, jealousy brings out the pervert in you. So what do you want? Rubber? Vinyl? Leather?
STEVE
Didn’t you tell me you went to catholic school?
SUZANNE
Yeah, why?
STEVE
You still got your uniform?
SUZANNE is a little shocked by the request.
SUZANNE
Hello!
She then sounds intrigued.
SUZANNE (cont'd)
You know I think I do. Penny loafers or saddle shoes?
STEVE
I’m all about the saddle shoes.
SUZANNE
I would have never thought you’d go for that.
STEVE
I would have never thought you had a choice of rubber, vinyl or leather outfits. What can I say? Four years at parochial school can do strange things to a man.
SUZANNE
Gimme a half-hour.
STEVE
Baby, if you look right in that outfit I’ll only need half a minute.
SUZANNE
I like knowing your weaknesses.
STEVE
Hey, every man has his kryptonite.
SUZANNE
I’ll see you soon.
STEVE
Bye!
STEVE hangs up the phone and immediately calls DAVE. The phone rings three times and the answering machine picks up.
DAVE
(voice on machine)
Hi! I’m not home now. So, leave a message after the tone and I’ll call you back... if you’re worthy!
The greeting ends with a beep and STEVE leaves his message.
STEVE
Dave! It’s Steve. Everything’s cool man it was all a misunderstanding. Man I think I could love this girl.
CUT TO:
INT. DAVE’S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
DAVE is having sex with JENNIFER in the bedroom. We focus on the answering machine but we can see them out of focus in the bedroom. DAVE is on top of JENNIFER doing the deed. The door is open and they can hear the message in his room. STEVE's voice emits from the answering machine speaker.
STEVE (cont'd)
The stiff at Bennigan's was some date her mother set her up with. This girl is so into me she’s coming over here in a Catholic School uniform for me.
CUT TO:
INT. DAVE'S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - NIGHT
Close-up of DAVE face who stops what he’s doing and looks at the machine.
DAVE
That lucky bastard!
STEVE (cont'd)
(off-camera answering machine)
Just wanted to keep you updated man. See ya!
We hear STEVE hang-up and the machine shut off. DAVE’s face still in disbelief is looking at the machine. JENNIFER’s hand comes in to frame to grab DAVE’s face and turn his attention back to her.
JENNIFER
(voice off camera)
You know, I have one of those outfits too.
DAVE smiles and goes back to work, dropping out of frame. We zoom into a picture on DAVE’s wall of his high school class. It is a Catholic School picture with boys in shirt and tie and the girls wearing white shirts and plaid skirts.
JENNIFER (cont'd)
(voice off camera)
God, you men are so easy!
FADE TO:
INT. STEVE’S HOUSE - DEN - THE NEXT DAY (SUNDAY)
STEVE is on the couch and SUZANNE sits on the floor with her body between STEVE's legs. STEVE is wearing sweatpants and a Lycoming College sweatshirt. SUZANNE is wearing one of STEVE’s t-shirts and boxer shorts, which we can't see because of the blanket she has wrapped around her legs. STEVE is playing with her hair while they watch TV. They are much more comfortable with each other. Off camera someone is knocking on the front door.
STEVE
Who is it?
We hear BRENDA through the door.
BRENDA
Avon calling!
STEVE
Hey, come on in!
BRENDA walks in through the kitchen.
BRENDA
Hey Steve!
STEVE
Hey!
BRENDA then steps in to the room and notices that SUZANNE is there. She is suddenly uncomfortable.
BRENDA
Oh, hi! I’m sorry I didn’t know you had company.
STEVE
Brenda, you remember Suzanne from last weekend.
BRENDA
(very uncomfortable)
Yeah, hi!
SUZANNE
Hello.
STEVE
So what’s up?
SUZANNE
Nothing, I was just heading over to the driving range and wanted to know if you wanted to join me. I guess you’re busy.
STEVE
Yeah, I think so.
SUZANNE smiles at BRENDA. BRENDA tries not to act upset.
BRENDA
Okay, well, I gotta go practice. Spring league starts next week. I’ll see you tomorrow at work.
BRENDA turns to SUZANNE with a slight but noticeable attitude.
STEVE
Okay, I'll see ya!
SUZANNE
Nice to see you again.
BRENDA
Yeah, you too. Bye!
SUZANNE
Bye.
BRENDA walks out and we hear the door close behind her. SUZANNE turns to STEVE.
SUZANNE
So what exactly is your relationship with Brenda?
STEVE
We’re friends, why?
SUZANNE
Just friends, that’s it?
STEVE
We dated for a couple months two years ago. Now we’re friends.
SUZANNE
Don’t you think that’s a little strange? Being friends after a relationship.
STEVE
We were friends before the relationship, why not after?
SUZANNE
I don’t know. Things usually change. I’m not friends with any of my ex-boyfriends.
STEVE
Am I sensing jealousy here?
SUZANNE
No, but I was. She really clammed up when she saw that I was here.
STEVE
It just caught her off guard I guess. Don’t worry, she’s fine.
SUZANNE
Is she dating anyone now?
STEVE
No, why?
SUZANNE
Nothing.
STEVE
Could you drop this then? I’m with you, Brenda is a friend, that’s all there is. Okay?
SUZANNE
Okay. I just wanted to hear you say it.
STEVE
Say what?
SUZANNE
That you’re with me.
STEVE
Well, here I am and there you are.
SUZANNE
Not for long!
SUZANNE turns around and climbs on top of STEVE. They begin kissing.
SUZANNE
Now I’m here too!
FADE TO:
BEGIN DATING MONTAGE - MUSIC OVER CLIPS
EXT. PUTT-PUTT GOLF COURSE - NIGHT
STEVE and SUZANNE play putt-putt golf. STEVE is at a hole, which is marked with different turns for "He" and "SHE." STEVE accidentally hits his ball up the shoot marked "SHE." SUZANNE then purposely hits her ball up the shoot marked "HE." SUZANNE sinks a six-foot putt. STEVE then tries to tap an easy one-footer in. He misses. He looks over to see the KID who was in the restaurant lobby earlier laughing at him. Quickly his MOTHER hits his arm lightly and pulls him away. STEVE is burned. SUZANNE laughs with him.
CUT TO:
EXT. DRIVING RANGE - DAY
STEVE is whacking drives out in to the range. SUZANNE is continuously topping balls and hitting them only a few yards out. STEVE is about to walk over and help but ducks at the last minute to avoid SUZANNE's backswing. This ball she has hit well. STEVE walks back to his stall and continues hitting balls.
CUT TO:
EXT. BEACH - DAY
STEVE and DAVE exchange Frisbee throws while SUZANNE and JENNIFER lay on a blanket tanning. DAVE's toss goes over STEVE's head and lands in the area of a beautiful young SUNBATHING WOMAN. STEVE walks over to retrieve the Frisbee and the SUNBATHING WOMAN stands up and talks to STEVE for a moment while he picks it up. STEVE glances over at SUZANNE and realizes that she has not missed this event. He smiles at SUZANNE turns to the SUNBATHING WOMAN says a few words then walks away. STEVE throws the Frisbee back to DAVE who is making the "whipped" motion with his hands, busting on STEVE.
CUT TO:
INT. STEVE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
SUZANNE lays in bed watching as STEVE, wearing only his boxer shorts, sits on the side of the bed singing her a song with his acoustic guitar. She smiles and they laugh together.
CUT TO:
INT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN - NIGHT
The whole gang, DAVE, JENNIFER, STEVE, SUZANNE and BRENDA, are competing at trivia night and winning prizes. They all appear to be having fun but BRENDA remains uncomfortable, feeling like a fifth wheel.
CUT TO:
INT. STEVE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
STEVE is watching TV in bed while, next to him, SUZANNE is reading a book. He laughs at something on TV. She stops, puts a bookmark in her book, takes off her reading glasses and sets them on the nightstand. Then she reaches for the remote, turns of the TV and rolls over on top of STEVE. They begin to kiss and SUZANNE reaches over and turns out the light. She is in love.
END DATING MONTAGE - MUSIC OVER CLIPS
FADE TO:
EXT. STEVE’S FRONT YARD - THREE WEEKS LATER - afternoon
We begin with the view from above. The screen door closes behind STEVE and SUZANNE as they exit the house. We crane down as they are walking across the front yard towards her car, which is parked on the street in front of STEVE's house. We begin to hear their voices getting clearer as they approach the camera which is now behind SUZANNE’s car and panning as they cross the back of the car so that she can open the driver’s side door.
STEVE
So is this some big relationship test? Dinner at your mother’s house?
SUZANNE
It’s not a test. It’s dinner.
STEVE
Yeah, but this is the official introduction to the family. This means something.
SUZANNE
Steve, we’ve been going out for a month. My mother is curious about whom I’ve been spending my time with. She’s very protective and very religious!
STEVE
So no satanic propaganda at the table, huh?
SUZANNE
God no, and please don’t take this opportunity to extol your theory that the church is largest money making organization in the world and that the Pope is just a CEO in a really funny hat.
SUZANNE gets in the car and closes the door. The window is open and their conversation continues as STEVE crouches down to talk to her
STEVE
Well he is. It’s all a sham. They beg for donations and then when I go to church the priest is up there with more gold in the cups and candelabras than MR. T wore around his neck. It’s so phony.
SUZANNE
Well it may be, but tomorrow you are a good church boy who receives communion every Sunday and thinks the Pope is the spiritual leader of the world.
STEVE
I’ll try my best...
STEVE puts his hand around the back of her head massaging her neck and playing with here hair.
STEVE (cont'd)
...but you just bring out the devil in me.
SUZANNE
You fuck up and that devil...
SUZANNE points down towards STEVE’s crotch.
SUZANNE(cont'd)
...won’t be coming out for a while.
STEVE
(giving up)
Okay. I’m a choirboy who likes to help old ladies across the street.
SUZANNE kisses him with a little peck through the window. She then turns the key and starts the car.
SUZANNE
(Talking louder over the engine)
That’s boy scouts, but close enough. I’ll see you tomorrow night.
STEVE
Okay. I can’t wait.
STEVE watches as she puts the car in drive and pulls away. He walks to the mailbox and gets his mail and then walks back towards the house.
CUT TO:
INT. DELI RESTAURANT - LUNCHTIME THE NEXT DAY (MONDAY)
STEVE, DAVE and BRENDA have just ordered their lunch and the WAITRESS is gathering their menus.
WAITRESS
Okay, I’ll be back with you drinks in a second.
STEVE
(handing the WAITRESS his menu)
Thanks!
The WAITRESS walks away and the three of them look at each other without talking for a few seconds. STEVE interrupts the awkward silence.
STEVE
So what’s up with you guys?
BRENDA
Same old, same old. Work, sleeping and eating.
STEVE
Woo- you need a life!
BRENDA
Well, you apparently have one to lend me.
STEVE
What do you mean?
BRENDA
(sounding pathetic and jealous)
You’ve got work, your music and your girly.
STEVE completely misses her attitude.
STEVE
Yeah, I guess you’re right I do have a life. (To DAVE) So how are things with Jen?
DAVE
Good. I think she’s a keeper!
STEVE
You should feel lucky she didn’t throw you back.
BRENDA
I can’t take it. Even you have a girlfriend. Is there something wrong with me?
STEVE
Wow, you don’t need a life. You need some self-esteem! Don’t talk like that. You’ve got a lot to offer a guy. You just have to get out there and grab one.
BRENDA
Yeah, what do I have to offer?
STEVE
Oh, shut up. You’re pretty, you’re smart, you’re funny.
DAVE
(adding to the list)
You don’t have serious issues. Any guy would be happy to date you. You gotta get out there.
BRENDA
Yeah, I guess. It’s been too long. I swear if something doesn't happen soon I’m gonna have to dust off my vibrator.
Just as BRENDA says the last line the WAITRESS has arrived with their drinks. The WAITRESS is shocked by what she just heard, but smiles and puts the drinks down and then walks away without saying anything. Her facial expression says it all. DAVE and STEVE cannot hold in their laughter as the WAITRESS leaves the table. BRENDA puts her hand over her eyes and blushes.
BRENDA
Look guys, it’s bad enough I’m not getting any but could you not laugh at me.
STEVE
(still laughing)
Sorry, but that’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time. Talk about timing.
DAVE
So what kind of vibrator are we talking about here? Is it a magic finger or are we talking like a John Holmes replica?
BRENDA
Drop it, I’m not talking about it with you.
STEVE
Hey you brought it up. And since you did, I’ve got a joke.
BRENDA
Let me guess. A vibrator joke.
STEVE
Yep! A lady walks into an adult gift store and goes to the guy at the counter, "I need a vibrator." The guy at the counter goes, "Okay lady, they’re over here."
STEVE wiggles his index finger as someone would to ask someone to follow them.
STEVE(cont'd)
"Come this way." The lady turns to him and says, "Hey buddy, If I could come that way I wouldn’t need a vibrator."
DAVE is amused and laughs. BRENDA is still pissed that she embarrassed herself and smiles.
BRENDA
Very funny.
STEVE
I thought so.
BRENDA
Enough about me, what’s up with your girl?
STEVE
Suzanne hasn’t asked me to use a vibrator on her yet.
STEVE laughs at his own comment
BRENDA
Not that you asshole! Can we drop this?
STEVE
Okay, um, things are going well. In fact, tonight I meet the mother.
DAVE
Wow! Big step.
BRENDA
Really, are you ready?
STEVE
Sure, but Suzanne says she’s a real religious lady so I have to behave myself.
DAVE
Yeah right, I'll bet the over/under on you pissing her off. Set the line at maybe (beat) 15 minutes.
BRENDA
I’ll take the over on that action. Steve’s got enough charm to keep from pissing her off for at least 16 minutes. (laughs)
STEVE
Yeah, laugh all you want. What are you doing tonight?
DAVE
She’s got a date with a blender, you know how she likes those electrical appliances (smiles at BRENDA).
BRENDA
Fuck you!
DAVE
I thought that’s what the Quisonart was for?
STEVE laughs and we cut back to a wide shot as the WAITRESS is just bringing their order to the table.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUZANNE’S MOTHER’S HOUSE - MONDAY NIGHT
STEVE and SUZANNE get out of STEVE's car and are walking up the front walk.
SUZANNE
Are you ready for this?
STEVE
Honey, I deal with people everyday and I’ve yet to be killed or even badly maimed for that matter, so I’m sure I’ll be fine. I think you’re more nervous than I am.
SUZANNE
Well, I want her to like you.
STEVE
(realizing his position)
Boy, you really got it bad for me. I must be one hell of a guy. How many guys have you brought home to Mom for dinner?
SUZANNE
One.
STEVE
Oh yeah, what was his name?
SUZANNE
Steve.
STEVE
Now there’s a coincidence.
SUZANNE
His name is Steve Michaels. You, dummy!
STEVE
(Shocked)
I’m the first?
SUZANNE nods her head looking uncomfortable. STEVE is still reeling but comes back to gather himself.
STEVE
All right, no problem. Wow, you must really like me a lot.
SUZANNE
(hurrying toward the house)
Oh get over yourself, and don’t embarrass me.
STEVE
Wait a minute. Come here.
STEVE pulls her towards him and holds her around the waist. He kisses her to calm her down.
STEVE
(Trying to calm her)
Now I truly appreciate this situation. And you should not be afraid. Parents always love me. It cursed me in the past with all those girls who wanted to be rebellious and piss off their Dad. Once the parents liked me I was out the door. So don’t worry. And besides, I love you.
SUZANNE
Yeah, but do you trust me? You’re the one with the trust is more important than love speech.
He kisses her again.
STEVE
Yes, I love and trust you.
SUZANNE
(relaxing and smiling)
Good, because if you make it through this dinner I’m going to show you how much I love and trust you.
STEVE
(joking)
What, are you gonna take a bullet for me?
SUZANNE
(exhausted)
Does everything have to be a joke?
STEVE
Seriousness is overrated. Now let’s go meet your mamma!
STEVE kisses her again and grabs her hand leading her to the front door. She sighs and then smiles resigning herself to go along with him. He stops and opens the screen door, SUZANNE opens the front door and he follows her in to the house.
CUT TO:
INT. SUZANNE’S MOTHER’S HOUSE - MONDAY NIGHT
STEVE and SUZANNE have just walked in the house. SUZANNE calls out for her mother.
SUZANNE
Mom! We’re here!
SUZANNE’S MOTHER
(ARLENE off camera)
I’ll be there in a second!
We go to STEVE’s point of view. We pan the house from left to right. To the left is the main den area with a couch, a barco lounger, a coffee table and an entertainment center. A cross is on the wall above the entertainment center. You can tell you’re in a Christian household but it’s not overly decorated with religious items. Straight ahead of him is the stairway. On the hallway wall is a small banner, which STEVE focuses on. It reads, "The pain of becoming is essential to the joy of being." STEVE then pans over toward the dining room on the right just as SUZANNE’s mother comes from the kitchen in to the dining room.
ARLENE
(excited)
Hello!
SUZANNE
Hi Mom!
SUZANNE and her mother hug as the camera returns to a three-shot of them at the door. SUZANNE and her mother stop their embrace and SUZANNE turns to introduce STEVE.
SUZANNE
Mom, this is Steve.
STEVE
It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Turner.
STEVE extends his hand to shake hands with her. She simply stares at his hand and leans forward to hug him instead.
ARLENE
You can call me Arlene dear. And it’s a pleasure to meet you too.
STEVE smiles as she backs away from the embrace. They stand there for a second not saying anything, smiling.
ARLENE
Well, dinner will be ready in about 10 minutes. Would you like something to drink?
STEVE
Sure, what do you have?
ARLENE
I have soda, iced tea, and water.
STEVE
Iced tea will be fine.
ARLENE
Well, have a seat and I’ll be back in a second.
STEVE
Okay.
SUZANNE
Mom, I’ll help you.
SUZANNE and ARLENE head towards the kitchen and we follow STEVE in to the den where he surveys the room. It's decorated with little knick-knacks and 5X7 family photos. STEVE looks closely at some pictures of SUZANNE at a younger age with her mother and father. He takes a seat on the couch and picks up a magazine titled "Catholic Digest" from off of the coffee table and begins leafing through it. SUZANNE walks in with STEVE’s iced tea and a drink for herself.
SUZANNE
A little light reading?
STEVE
This is actually kind of a cool article.
SUZANNE
(nervous)
Oh yeah? Well, I’ll get you a subscription.
SUZANNE smiles, grabs the magazine and puts it back on the table. ARLENE walks in the room and sits down in the barco lounger.
ARLENE
We have a little more time before the meatloaf is done. So Steve, my Suzanne tells me you’re a musician.
STEVE
Well, part time. I work as a computer analyst. But I do some songwriting and play in a band. I’m trying to get the music to happen but the job pays the bills.
ARLENE
Do you like it though?
SUZANNE
Mom!
STEVE
No, it’s okay. (beat) It’s a good job and it’s challenging. I enjoy it but I’ve always loved music.
ARLENE
I didn’t mean to push, I’m just trying to get all the dirt.
STEVE
I have nothing to hide, ask away. Do you have a questionnaire?
ARLENE
Yes, but it’s all in my mind.
SUZANNE
(laughing)
Should I go get the lie detector out of the closet?
ARLENE
Oh, hush, this isn’t an inquisition. Steve said I could ask whatever I like.
STEVE
(to SUZANNE)
It’s fine.
ARLENE
So, give me the full resume. Education? Family?
STEVE
Well, I went to about six different schools between Kindergarten and 12th grade...
FADE TO:
INT. ARLENE’S DINING ROOM - LATER MONDAY NIGHT
ARLENE, SUZANNE and STEVE are just finishing dinner in the dining room.
STEVE
That was one excellent dinner Mrs. Turner.
ARLENE
Please, Steve.
STEVE
Sorry, Arlene, the dinner was great.
ARLENE
Thank you dear.
SUZANNE
Yeah, I forgot how good a home-cooked meal can be Mom.
ARLENE is getting up to begin clearing the table.
ARLENE
Thanks honey. Maybe you could stop by more often for the experience.
SUZANNE does not appreciate her backhanded criticism.
SUZANNE
Mom!
ARLENE
I'm joking dear. I'm just happy to have you here (beat) and you too Steve.
STEVE
Well, I'm happy to be here. Do you need a hand with anything?
ARLENE
No, it's fine I'll get it
ARLENE grabs their plates and heads back in to the kitchen. STEVE and SUZANNE start helping to clear the table. They follow ARLENE in to the kitchen. ARLENE is in front of the sink staring out the window motionless. SUZANNE notices that her mother is not paying attention. She walks up to her at the sink.
SUZANNE
Mom, are you okay?
ARLENE snaps back to reality.
ARLENE
Oh, I’m fine honey I thought I saw something in the back yard.
SUZANNE
You sure? You seemed to leave us for a second there.
ARLENE
(joking)
Hey, I’m old, I’m allowed to zone out every now and then.
ARLENE turns from the sink.
ARLENE
So, who wants dessert?
STEVE
Oh, Arlene I don’t think I could eat another bite.
ARLENE
Suzanne?
SUZANNE
No, I’m okay Mom.
ARLENE's mood suddenly changes to down.
ARLENE
Well, I guess you’ll want to be going then.
STEVE
(reassuring)
No, I thought we were going to sit and talk some more. Maybe even break out some embarrassing photo albums.
ARLENE
Oh, nobody wants to sit with an old woman.
SUZANNE
Mom, that’s not true. Come on, you go have a seat. Steve and I will clean up.
ARLENE
Okay, I’m sorry. I just don’t see enough of my baby anymore.
ARLENE kisses SUZANNE and walks in to the living room. STEVE and SUZANNE begin putting dishes in the dishwasher and putting the food away. They talk quietly.
STEVE
Is she okay?
SUZANNE
Yeah, I’m surprised she lasted this long without this coming out. Steve, she’s a lonely woman. Since I moved out all she’s got is her church groups and her TV. I wish she would start dating for as much as she pushed me to.
STEVE
We never talked about this, what happened to your Dad?
SUZANNE pauses for moment before answering his question.
SUZANNE
He left when I was twelve. He was a Catholic deacon but he lost his faith after he lost his leg in an auto accident. Mom didn’t. So they kind of grew apart. I haven’t seen him in years. Last I heard he was working in Las Vegas.
STEVE
That’s hard. She hasn’t seen anyone since?
SUZANNE
She’s a Catholic and doesn’t believe in divorce or remarriage.
STEVE
You mean they are still married?
SUZANNE
Well, legally they are divorced. But, Mom won’t have it annulled by the church. So in her eyes and God’s they are still man and wife.
STEVE
Wow, does she have spells like that a lot?
SUZANNE
I don’t know. That’s only been over the past year or so. She said she went to the doctor and they couldn’t find anything wrong with her.
STEVE
Can I do anything?
SUZANNE
Not really. You could finish up putting these in the dishwasher? I have to use the bathroom.
STEVE
Sure go ahead.
She kisses him softly. STEVE continues putting dishes in the dishwasher as SUZANNE walks towards the den which is attached to the dining room near the front door and to the kitchen on the other end. She sees her mother is reclined in the barco lounger watching television. She opens the bathroom door, which is between the kitchen and den, and enters. STEVE is finishing up the dishes and wipes off the counter.
CUT TO:
INT. ARLENE’S BATHROOM - NIGHT
SUZANNE is washing her hands at the sink and spies her mother’s pill basket. Along with the vitamins there is a prescription bottle. She hesitates and then picks up the bottle and stares at the label. SUZANNE thinks for a minute and puts it back.
CUT TO:
INT. ARLENE’S DEN - night
STEVE enters the den from the kitchen. ARLENE is still watching television.
STEVE
Mrs. Turner, uh, I mean, Arlene, can I get you anything?
ARLENE
No, I’m okay. I’m just tired. I’ve been going to bed earlier and earlier these days.
STEVE
Well, don’t stay up on our account. If you’re tired you should rest.
ARLENE
Maybe you’re right.
ARLENE brings the chair forward from its reclined position and stands up.
ARLENE(cont'd)
Tell my daughter I went to sleep. And tell her I really liked you and I hope you stick around.
STEVE
I’m not going anywhere.
She hugs STEVE tight and kisses him on the cheek.
ARLENE
Make my daughter happy, please.
STEVE
I will do my best Arlene.
She smiles at him and then turns to head upstairs.
STEVE
Goodnight!
ARLENE
Goodnight.
ARLENE disappears up the stairs. SUZANNE walks out of the bathroom and turns out the light. She looks in to the den and sees STEVE standing in the middle of the room staring at the door. She looks in the kitchen and sees no one. She approaches STEVE from behind.
SUZANNE
Where’s my mother?
STEVE turns to face her.
STEVE
Uh, she decided to go to bed.
SUZANNE looks at her watch
SUZANNE
So early?
STEVE
She said she was feeling tired.
SUZANNE
I hope she’s okay. I saw some new prescriptions in the bathroom.
STEVE
Snooping on your mother?
SUZANNE
It’s not snooping. It’s concern.
STEVE
Well, why don’t you ask her about it?
SUZANNE
She’s a stubborn woman, she would never admit there was something wrong. Did she say anything else?
STEVE
Yes, she said that I was no good for you and that I should stay away from her daughter.
SUZANNE
(laughing)
Liar!
STEVE
Okay, she said that she likes me a lot and we should go back to my place for a torrid night of passion.
SUZANNE
Another lie.
STEVE
Only half a lie, she didn’t say she liked me.
SUZANNE laughs as STEVE hugs her. Her smile fades to a face of concern as we close-up on her in STEVE’s arms.
CUT TO:
INT. ARLENE’S BEDROOM - LATER THAT NIGHT
ARLENE is lying in bed watching a M.A.S.H. rerun on TV. Only the TV and a small lamp on the nightstand light the room. She is lying on one side of the double bed as if there is someone expected to be on the other side. The room appears warm with an older look than the rest of the house. There is a long dresser with a mirror on the wall to the left of the bed. The TV is on a dresser of drawers directly across from the bed and the other wall has a closet. There is a metal cross hanging directly above the headboard. There is one picture on the closet-side wall of Jesus' open hands with some writing below. Small picture frames filled with family photos adorn the flat surfaces in the room.
We hear a knock on the door shortly before it is opened. ARLENE looks towards the door and we see SUZANNE enter with the hallway light shining in behind her. ARLENE smiles and turns back to the TV and turns it off with the remote.
ARLENE
I thought you left with Steve.
SUZANNE
I told him I wanted to stay and talk with you.
ARLENE
What do you want to talk about sweetheart?
SUZANNE
I’m worried about you. You don’t seem like yourself.
ARLENE
Oh, I’m fine honey.
ARLENE pats the empty side of the bed next to her asking SUZANNE to sit on the bed next to her. SUZANNE sits on the bed and faces her mother.
ARLENE
I’ve just been a little tired lately. I think it’s the new medication my doctor gave me.
SUZANNE
I saw the prescription bottles in the bathroom. What’s wrong?
ARLENE
Oh, snooping on your poor mother?
SUZANNE
You sound like Steve. It’s not snooping. It's concern.
ARLENE
Oh, it’s okay honey. I appreciate your concern but my doctor wanted me to try a new medication for my heart. There’s nothing wrong, he just thought it was better than the old drug I was on.
SUZANNE
Well it’s apparently affecting you. You seem a little depressed.
ARLENE
That’s not the drug that's just me. Honey, with you out of the house it's gotten very lonely around here.
SUZANNE looks like she’s feeling guilty. ARLENE notices here daughter's reaction.
ARLENE(cont'd)
Oh, it’s not your fault honey. You’ve got to get on with your life. You’ve got a lot of years ahead of you. You’ve got a great guy in your life. You seem happy.
SUZANNE
I am happy Mom. But, maybe you should take some of your own advice.
ARLENE
What do you mean?
SUZANNE
Mom, you don’t have to be lonely. You’ve got a lot of life ahead of you too and you shouldn’t waste it waiting for Dad to come back.
ARLENE
(dismissive)
Suzanne please.
SUZANNE
Oh, come on Mom. Look at this room. It hasn’t changed in twenty years outside of a new TV, which I had to buy you. Did you throw out his clothes yet? Is his comb still on the bathroom sink? Look, you’re still sleeping on one side of the bed. Mom, he left 15 years ago. Don’t you think it’s time to realize that he’s not coming back?
ARLENE
I know honey, but I don’t know how.
SUZANNE
Well, you could start by getting rid of all of this stuff. Some of Dad’s clothes are so old they’re back in style again. Mom, you need to take these things in steps and getting rid of his stuff would be a good first step.
ARLENE
I’ll think about it.
SUZANNE frowns at her.
ARLENE(cont'd)
I will, I promise. Now come here.
ARLENE opens her arms and SUZANNE hugs her. They hold each other for a while.
SUZANNE
I just want you to be happy Mom.
ARLENE
I’m happy for you dear, that’s enough.
SUZANNE
I want you to be happy for you. You’ve done enough for me.
ARLENE
I could never do enough for you.
SUZANNE
I love you Mom.
ARLENE
I love you too sweetheart.
We pull out as they are still embraced.
FADE TO:
EXT. STEVE’S HOUSE - THE FOLLOWING SATURDAY AFTERNOON
Close-up of BRENDA sitting in her parked car in front of STEVE’s house. It is a sunny day and she is wearing jeans and a tight T-shirt. She turns off the car, pulls the keys out of the ignition and steps out of the car. We follow her up to the house until she is at the door. She stops to take a breath.
CUT TO:
INT. STEVE’S HOUSE - SATURDAY AFTERNOON
STEVE is watching TV on his couch. Three knocks are heard on the door. STEVE gets up and heads towards the door.
CUT TO:
EXT. STEVE’S FRONT PORCH - SATURDAY AFTERNOON
BRENDA is fixing her hair in the reflection and sees STEVE pull the window blinds to the side to see who is at the door. We see STEVE smile at catching BRENDA being vain. The door opens.
STEVE
Hey, what’s up?
BRENDA
Hey, I was in the area and figured I’d see what you were up to.
STEVE steps aside so that BRENDA can step in to the house and closes the door behind him.
CUT TO:
INT. STEVE’S HOUSE - SATURDAY AFTERNOON
BRENDA walks through the kitchen and into the den followed by STEVE. The conversation begins as they are walking.
STEVE
So what’s going on?
BRENDA
Not a lot, you know the usual. And you?
STEVE
Things are going well. No complaints.
BRENDA
Where’s your girly?
STEVE
Suzanne’s out of town this weekend. Some sorority thing.
BRENDA
Sorority?
BRENDA sits at the end of the couch furthest in to the room. STEVE bypasses the seat next to BRENDA and sits on the love seat. She is disappointed.
STEVE
Yeah, you know alumni shit. I think it’s all a hidden lesbian cult.
BRENDA
I’m sure you have no problem with that.
STEVE
(smiles)
You kidding, I tried to get her to take me.
BRENDA
So then what are you doing tonight?
STEVE
I was planning on a night in front of the TV. I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t had a chance to catch up on all the new releases.
BRENDA
Do you mind if I join you?
STEVE
What, no hot date tonight?
BRENDA
I am not as fortunate as you or Dave.
STEVE
Yeah, who would have figured that? Dave in love, I can’t believe it.
BRENDA
It makes me sick. He finds someone and I’m here alone.
STEVE
Oh, don’t worry baby, you’ll find someone. It takes time. Look at me.
BRENDA
I was thinking about that Steve. Why exactly did we break up?
STEVE
Well, as I recall I was just too nice a guy and didn’t treat you like shit. At the time you couldn’t deal with that.
BRENDA
Was I that bad?
STEVE
You were fine, just not as mature as you are now.
BRENDA
Mature is another word for old.
STEVE
Hey, like I said, sometimes it takes time.
BRENDA
It just hurts, ya know?
STEVE
Yeah, I know.
He smiles at her and grabs her hand reassuring her. She forces a smile.
CUT TO:
INT. STEVE’S DEN - SATURDAY NIGHT
STEVE and BRENDA are on the couch watching a movie. They are sitting close. BRENDA sits up and heads towards the kitchen. She is walking funny, obviously intoxicated.
BRENDA
Do you want another drink?
STEVE
No I’m okay.
BRENDA
Are you sure?
STEVE
Yeah, I’m really starting to feel it.
BRENDA
Okay!
STEVE continues to watch the movie as BRENDA gets another drink. BRENDA returns with a glass of wine and sits down closer to STEVE.
STEVE
Girl, you better take it easy.
BRENDA
No way, It’s been a while since I’ve felt this good.
STEVE
Are you drunk?
SUZANNE attempts to hold her amusement in but can't. She breaks out in a small laugh.
BRENDA
Just a little.
STEVE gets a whiff of her breath as she laughs and makes a face.
STEVE
Well, that’s it. You’re crashing here tonight.
BRENDA
No, I’ll be okay.
STEVE
You're bombed and I’m not letting you drive home.
BRENDA
Okay. But I don’t have anything to wear to bed.
STEVE
I’ll get you a T-shirt okay?
BRENDA
And a pair of boxers.
STEVE
Okay. Give me a minute.
STEVE leaves the room and BRENDA smiles to herself. She takes off her shoes and socks, throwing them across the room. She then takes off her belt and throws it. She takes off her jeans and puts them next to her on the couch. STEVE returns and looks at her funny, but figures that she is drunk and doesn’t know what she’s doing. He throws the T-shirt and boxers on the couch.
STEVE
Here you go!
BRENDA looks at the shirt and boxers and then smiles at STEVE.
BRENDA
Steve, come here.
STEVE
What?
BRENDA
Come here and sit down next to me.
STEVE
(hesitantly)
Okay.
BRENDA
Steve, I miss hanging out with you. This new girl is taking too much of your time.
STEVE
Well, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to leave you out.
BRENDA
I wanna show you how much I miss you.
STEVE
That’s okay!
BRENDA
No, I want to show you.
BRENDA removes her shirt. She is not wearing a bra and is naked aside from a thong. She leans in and kisses STEVE on the lips. STEVE is shocked and allows her to finish but then backs off.
STEVE
Look, Brenda, you’re drunk and I know you don’t know what you’re doing.
BRENDA grabs her shirt and covers herself.
STEVE (cont'd)
So, why don’t you just go to sleep and we’ll forget this happened.
BRENDA
(embarrassed)
Steve, don’t you think I’m pretty?
STEVE touches her head trying to be gentle figuring that BRENDA is just really drunk.
STEVE
Yes, I do. You are a very beautiful woman but I am in love with Suzanne. I’m sorry. Goodnight.
STEVE kisses her on the forehead and walks out of the room. BRENDA begins to cry.
FADE TO:
EXT. STEVE’S HOUSE - THE NEXT MORNING
We crane down as we see SUZANNE’s car pull in to frame and park behind BRENDA’s in front of the house. SUZANNE steps out of the car, gives BRENDA's car a funny look and approaches the front door. She knocks and waits. We see motion in the kitchen coming towards the front door. The door opens and it is BRENDA in STEVE’s T-shirt and boxer shorts. She has obviously just gotten up.
SUZANNE
Brenda?
BRENDA
(Very uncomfortable)
Hi, Suzanne. Steve told me you were out of town.
SUZANNE
I left early this morning. I wanted to surprise him.
BRENDA
Oh, I’m sure he’ll be surprised.
SUZANNE
What do you mean? What are you doing here?
BRENDA
Can you keep it down? Steve’s still asleep.
SUZANNE
I don’t care. What are you doing here? Did you spend the night with him?
BRENDA
It’s no big deal. We used to go out.
SUZANNE
Yeah, but I’m going out with him now. Did you spend the night with him?
BRENDA
(pauses)
Yes.
SUZANNE
Fine. Tell him I said, Have a nice life.
SUZANNE storms off and gets in her car. Just as she’s driving away STEVE comes down the stairs.
STEVE
Who was that?
BRENDA
That was Suzanne, she didn’t seem too happy about finding me here in the morning.
STEVE
What? What did she say?
BRENDA
I told her the truth Steve (beat) That we had a fun night last night.
BRENDA starts to hug and then kiss STEVE. STEVE pushes her away.
STEVE
Are you nuts? Get the fuck away from me. I can’t believe you lied to her about me.
BRENDA
She's no good for you. Come on, give me another chance.
STEVE
Oh shit, I thought it was the booze last night. But, you’re really jealous. She was right and I didn’t listen to her.
BRENDA
I’m sorry, but I want you back.
BRENDA approaches him again and he walks away. He then turns back to her.
STEVE
Consider this friendship over. Get your shit and get the hell out of my house.
BRENDA
Steve, don’t be like that.
STEVE
Be like what? Be like pissed because you just completely fucked my relationship with the woman I love. Because you just threw away every bit of trust I had in you. I don’t even want to look at you right now. Please, leave.
BRENDA
Okay, I’ll go.
She walks towards STEVE in the kitchen, looks at him. He tries to look at her and then looks away. She walks in to the den. We close up on STEVE and he puts his head in his hands not believing what has happened this morning.
CUT TO:
INT. SUZANNE’S APARTMENT - THAT AFTERNOON
We see a close-up of the answering machine and SUZANNE is out of focus in the background crying.
STEVE
(on answering machine)
Suzanne! If you’re there pick-up. Look, you were right about Brenda and I don’t know what she said to you but nothing happened! I swear! Please call me, I want to talk to you.
CUT TO:
INT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN - DAY
STEVE sits at the bar alone drinking and talking to BILL. BILL grabs his glass to get another, fills it and puts it in front of him.
BILL
That one’s on me brother.
STEVE
Thanks man
CUT TO:
INT. SUZANNE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
SUZANNE is watching television and we see the answering machine in the foreground.
STEVE
(on answering machine)
Suzanne! Please pick-up! I miss you and I want to talk. Look, we have to straighten this out. Nothing happened. Please pick-up! All right maybe you’re not home. I love you, call me.
CUT TO:
INT. STEVE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
STEVE is playing his guitar on the couch and hears a knock on the door. He runs to the door and it’s BRENDA. He opens the door, looks at her and then closes the door in her face.
CUT TO:
INT. DAVE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
JENNIFER is lying down on the couch with her head resting on DAVE's leg.
DAVE
Can’t you talk to her? I mean, the guy is innocent.
JENNIFER
I believe him, but she won’t listen to me. The girl is paranoid that a guy would cheat on her and leave her just like her Dad did to her mother. She won’t even talk about it.
DAVE
Well, see what you can do. It’s tough seeing your best friend fall apart and you can’t do anything about it.
CUT TO:
INT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN - NIGHT
Multiple shots faded together. STEVE is playing with his band but is miserable. He sits with guys after the show and is straight faced while they are all laughing. He snaps out of it and fakes a smile.
CUT TO:
INT. ARLENE’S HOUSE - day
SUZANNE and ARLENE are cleaning her husband's things out of the closet. ARLENE places a large bag in to the hallway. SUZANNE then cleans out the bathroom of her father’s things. ARLENE smiles but is uncomfortable with all the change.
CUT TO:
INT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN - NIGHT
DAVE and STEVE sit at the bar surrounded by some older regulars.
STEVE
I’ve been calling her every day man. I don’t know what else to do. She won’t talk to me.
DAVE
Did you try stopping by her work?
STEVE
No, I’m not going bring this type of situation to her job. I won’t do that to her.
DAVE
I wish I knew what to say man. Jen says that she won’t listen to her either. The girl has issues with her Dad cheating and leaving her mother.
STEVE
I didn’t even cheat, man this sucks. I should have just driven Brenda home that night.
DAVE
Hey, how were you to know man.
STEVE
She made a pass at me that night, but I figured it was because she was drunk. Then the next morning she tells Suzanne that we slept together. I never thought she would psycho out on me.
DAVE
Bitch.
CUT TO:
INT. CHURCH MEETING ROOM - night
SUZANNE and ARLENE are at the church's Bingo Night. An older gentleman sits next to ARLENE and is talking to her. ARLENE is uncomfortable like a girl on a first date. SUZANNE smiles at her and then turns and looks in to the distance unemotional.
CUT TO:
INT. SUZANNE’S APARTMENT - night
SUZANNE is reading a magazine on the couch. The TV is on but she's not watching it.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUZANNE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
STEVE is knocking on the front door.
STEVE
Suzanne, I know you're home. Will you at least hear me out? I can't take this much longer.
We pan through the wall and see SUZANNE walking towards the door and looking through the peephole but not answering the door. She walks away from the door and we pan back through the door at STEVE leaning his head against the door.
STEVE
Please, God why won’t she talk to me?
We zoom out as STEVE turns with his back to the door. He's defeated.
FADE TO:
INT. THE OFFICE CAFETERIA - LUNCHTIME
DAVE is sitting with BRENDA at lunch.
DAVE
What were you thinking?
BRENDA
I don’t know. I saw how happy he was and I wanted him back. I want to be that happy.
DAVE
It was a real bitch move. Suzanne still won’t talk to him. The guys more depressed than I’ve ever seen him. And it’s entirely your fault. He’s not that happy guy any more thanks to you. Is that what you wanted?
BRENDA
No.
DAVE
What did you think was going to happen? Did you think he was secretly pining for you all this time? Did you think she was just an attempt to make you jealous? It was love, the real thing. Not the way you think of love. Not someone to put up with your shit and maybe have sex with. You’re gonna have to fix this now. I tried. Steve’s still trying. (beat) This is all on you now.
BRENDA
What should I do?
DAVE
You might want to try talking to Suzanne. Start by telling her that you’re a lying bitch. Hopefully she’ll believe you.
DAVE gets up from the table and walks away. BRENDA stares out the window trying not to cry.
CUT TO:
INT. ARLENE’S BEDROOM - EARLY EVENING
SUZANNE sits on the bed as her mother is getting ready to go out for the night. She is trying on different earrings, unhappy with any of her selections.
ARLENE
I don’t know what I’m doing. How about these?
ARLENE turns to SUZANNE to look at the earrings.
SUZANNE
They’re fine Mom. God, you really are nervous.
ARLENE
Well, considering I haven’t been on a date in about 30 years, I think I’m extremely calm.
SUZANNE
You’ll be fine. Mom...
SUZANNE stands up to face her.
SUZANNE
I’m very proud of you.
They hug.
ARLENE
Thank you dear. I owe it all to you.
SUZANNE
I just want you to be happy.
ARLENE
I am. How about you?
SUZANNE sits back down on the bed. ARLENE takes a deep breath knowing that she's about to touch on a tough subject.
ARLENE(cont'd)
Honey, I've really liked that we've been spending more time together, but I know it's not because it's so much fun.
SUZANNE
I don’t know. I don’t know what to do about Steve. I mean I love him but I don’t know whether I can trust him or not.
ARLENE sits down next to her and grabs her hand.
ARLENE
Have you talked to him yet?
SUZANNE
No, I don’t know what I’d say.
ARLENE
Well, I think you should talk to him face to face before you make any decisions.
SUZANNE
I’m afraid I’ll either kill him or marry him.
ARLENE
Well, listen to his side first. If he didn’t do anything marry him, but if he did (beat) don’t you stand for that. Kill him!
SUZANNE
(smiles)
Thanks Mom, great advice.
ARLENE
They can’t all be gems sweetheart. But I’m right.
SUZANNE
I know. Maybe I’ll make him suffer a little longer.
ARLENE
Take it easy on him dear. He’s innocent until proven guilty.
SUZANNE smiles and hugs her mother.
SUZANNE
Good luck tonight Mom!
ARLENE
Thank you honey.
CUT TO:
INT. SUZANNE’S APARTMENT - THAT NIGHT
SUZANNE is in the kitchen pouring water into a pot when she hears a knock on the door. She puts the pot down in the sink.
SUZANNE
(yelling to the door)
Who is it?
VOICE THROUGH DOOR
It’s Jen.
SUZANNE gets up and heads towards the door. She opens it and we see that it is really BRENDA. SUZANNE is instantly pissed off.
SUZANNE
Oh, what do you want?
BRENDA
I didn’t think you’d answer if I said it was me. I’m sorry.
SUZANNE
You’re damn right.
SUZANNE starts to close the door and BRENDA stops it with her hand.
BRENDA
Wait, I need to talk to you.
SUZANNE
You did all the talking the other morning. I’m sure you’re happy now.
BRENDA
No, I’m not cause Steve loves you. Look, I’m a bitch. I tried to get him back. I threw myself at him, but he didn’t do anything. He loves you. I was just trying to bring back the past.
SUZANNE
Right, then why were you still there in the morning?
BRENDA calms as she explains further.
BRENDA
Well, you know Steve. He’s such a nice guy he wouldn’t let me drive home. I was pretty drunk. I’m sorry, but please don’t take this out on him. He did nothing wrong. The guy loves you.
SUZANNE
(still pissed)
Well, thanks for stopping by. Forgive me if I don’t invite you in.
SUZANNE closes the door and BRENDA stands there for a few seconds before sighing and leaving.
CUT TO:
INT. STEVE’S HOUSE - NEXT DAY (SUNDAY)
The phone rings and STEVE picks up.
STEVE
Hello?
BRENDA
(on phone)
Hey, it’s Brenda. Please don’t hang-up. I stopped by to see Suzanne to tell her the truth. I don’t know if it did any good, but I tried. I guess I’m trying to say I’m sorry. I fucked up and I hope you can forgive me. I know you won’t forget, but I still want you in my life. I’m trying to make this right again.
STEVE
Brenda, I appreciate that you’re trying. But, it’s going to take some time before I can talk to you without thinking about what you did to me.
BRENDA
I know, I’m sorry. I’m an idiot. I hope Suzanne gets back with you. I really liked seeing you so happy.
STEVE
Yeah, I wish I could believe that. (beat) Well, I gotta go. Bye!
BRENDA
Bye Steve.
STEVE hangs up the phone and sits down at the kitchen table. We pan around the room as he sits and thinks. Finally he gets up, grabs his jacket and heads out the door.
CUT TO:
INT. THE VILLAGE TAVERN - SUNDAY AFTERNOON
STEVE is sitting at the bar with a bunch of tavern regulars. HOBIE, a 30-year-old with a medium build, is a single guy with a gambling habit. He is constantly looking at the different TV's to see scores of the games he has money on. PAT, a mid-50-year-old, is a little chunky and bald. He is living off disability even though he looks completely healthy. FRANK, a late-40-year-old is an obvious alcoholic. BILL, the bartender, is a casual observer as he fills drink orders for the restaurant. As we enter the scene a team on the TV has just scored and HOBIE is excited since he has money on the game.
HOBIE
Yes!
(to the tune of the School House Rock song, "Interjection")
Interception, for excitement, and the touchdown, and the cover, and the over and five-hunny, Alleluia, Alleluia!
STEVE
I can't believe you bet on European League Football.
HOBIE
When it's the only action around you take it. How else are you gonna make these hacks interesting?
STEVE
I see your point.
HOBIE notices that STEVE is not in a great mood.
HOBIE
You been here a lot lately man. You're gonna end up drinking your dinner like Pat and Frank if you don't watch it.
PAT takes offense to this.
PAT
Hey, speak for yourself. I happen to like the food here.
HOBIE
Yeah, you order the same two double cheeseburgers every time. How come you haven't collapsed from a coronary yet?
PAT
Good genetics.
Both HOBIE and STEVE cannot help but laugh at that since PAT looks like he got every bad genetic trait (baldness, weight problem, etc.)
HOBIE
(to STEVE)
Really man, what's up with you?
STEVE
Ah, girl trouble.
HOBIE
Oh yeah, Dave was saying something about that to me. Caught you cheating huh?
STEVE
I wasn't cheating man. I am completely innocent. (beat) Problem is she won't believe me.
FRANK interjects in to the conversation.
FRANK
Steve, you have to find yourself a different woman. My wife is the best.
HOBIE
Frank, she goes to the liquor store for you and drives your ass home when you're too drunk. Of course you think that.
FRANK
No, that just shows that she loves me and will do anything for me.
HOBIE
Yeah, that's love. I think they call it enabling. Wait, does she have a big insurance policy on you? I've seen this on 60 minutes I think.
STEVE and PAT laugh.
FRANK
Nah, I had trouble getting insurance. I've got this neurological disorder that causes me to talk and walk a little strange sometimes.
BILL
What's it called Vodka Tonic-nosis?
They all laugh except for FRANK. FRANK finishes his drink.
FRANK
Well, I'm not gonna sit here for this. I'm out of here.
Frank leaves.
BILL
Some people can't take a joke.
BILL walks up to where FRANK was sitting to grab his glass and collect the tip. BILL holds up a one-dollar bill.
BILL(cont'd)
Now, this is a joke.
BILL drops the dollar in to his tip jar and exits the frame to clean FRANK's glass.
PAT
So, Steve, you've got woman trouble huh?
STEVE
Yeah, it sucks.
PAT
I don't have that problem. When you're paying for it you cut through all the bullshit.
STEVE turns to HOBIE.
STEVE
I don't want to hear where this is going.
HOBIE
I do.
PAT
All I'm saying is all they want is money and all you want is sex. Strip bars and prostitution are the only truly honest relationships between men and women.
HOBIE
(dry-joking)
The man's a visionary.
STEVE
I really need to stop coming here.
PAT rises from his seat and drops a tip on the bar.
PAT
Hey, live your life pal. All I'm saying is that I've been in love and I've been in pain. One always leads to the other.
PAT walks out of the bar. HOBIE finishes his beer and puts the empty glass on the bar. BILL grabs the glass and fills it from the tap.
HOBIE
When did this place turn in to the Ricky Lake show?
STEVE
I really need to stop coming here.
HOBIE
Hey cheer up. You wanna play me in Video Golf. Dollar a skin?
STEVE
That's okay man I'll keep my money.
HOBIE
Dave's a lot more fun than you are.
HOBIE walks to the end of the bar where the video golf machine is. STEVE is now sitting at the bar alone. He is sipping on his drink and watching a game on the television. A few tables are filled with the Sunday dinner crowd. We close-up on STEVE drinking and we see someone come up behind him.
VOICE (O.C)
Hey. You're shoes untied.
STEVE looks down at his shoe and notices that it is untied. He looks over to the person asking and realizes it is SUZANNE. He smiles at her, thankful that she has come to see him. She kneels down and ties his shoe for him. He is happy with the initial signals but is cautious.
STEVE
Suzanne, oh my God! I didn’t think you’d ever talk to me again.
SUZANNE sits down at the seat next to him.
SUZANNE
Well, I wasn’t until I got a visit from your friend Brenda.
STEVE
Hey, she’s not my friend anymore.
SUZANNE
Don’t be so hard on her. I can’t blame her for wanting you.
Steve likes how this is going. He knows she's back but he's still a little cautious.
STEVE
Really? So, what do we do now?
SUZANNE
Well, I guess I could get back together with you.
STEVE
You guess? Come here.
STEVE grabs her and hugs her tight.
STEVE(cont'd)
Oh, I missed you.
SUZANNE
(getting upset)
I missed you too. I’m sorry I didn’t listen.
STEVE
It’s my fault. I should have seen it coming.
Their hug loosens so that they can kiss.
STEVE(cont'd)
I love you.
SUZANNE smiles.
STEVE(cont'd)
Thanks for coming back.
They kiss again. As they are kissing, BILL the bartender walks up with another drink for STEVE and a drink for SUZANNE.
BILL
That’s what I like to see. Guys, this rounds on me.
STEVE
I don’t know how he stays in business. I could have become an alcoholic with all the freebies he gave me when you left. He’s probably glad he doesn’t have to buy me anymore drinks.
SUZANNE
It’s kind of nice to see that you fall apart without me.
STEVE
And you had no problems without me?
SUZANNE
None at all.
SUZANNE pauses watching STEVE's slightly shocked reaction.
SUZANNE (cont'd)
I’m kidding. I was dying. And my mother, if you’re number wasn’t unlisted I’m sure that she would have called you to give you hell.
STEVE
Maybe you should tell her what really happened before Thanksgiving dinner then.
SUZANNE
(laughs)
Maybe.
They kiss deeply, oblivious of the other people in the bar.
FADE TO:
EXT. CHURCH - FALL DAY
People mill around the front of the church.
CUT TO:
INT. CHURCH back room - day
STEVE is wearing a tuxedo and pacing slightly. DAVE walks in the door also wearing a tuxedo.
DAVE
They’re almost ready.
STEVE
Okay. How do I look?
STEVE strikes the pose. DAVE reaches up to straighten STEVE's bowtie.
DAVE
God you’re so vain. I bet you think this song is about you.
STEVE
Well, there are no mirrors back here.
DAVE finishes with the bowtie.
DAVE
Well, Snow White you are the fairest in the land.
STEVE
Thanks dear.
DAVE
Come on, let’s not keep the audience waiting.
STEVE
Okay, hey are you ready Mr. Matthews?
We turn to see that this is actually a wedding for MR. MATTHEWS, the man seen earlier at the Bingo night with ARLENE)
MR. MATTHEWS
Steve, please call me Jim.
STEVE
Okay. Jim, are you ready?
MR. MATTHEWS
As ready as I’ll ever be.
STEVE
You’ll be fine.
They follow DAVE out the door to the main church chamber.
CUT TO:
EXT. CHURCH - AFTER THE CEREMONY - fall day
JIM and ARLENE are walking out of the church being pelted with birdseed as they make their way to the limousine. Everyone is waving as they drive away. STEVE and SUZANNE hug each other.
SUZANNE
I can’t believe it. My mother actually married before me.
STEVE
What are you trying to say?
SUZANNE
Oh nothing.
STEVE
Right.
STEVE kisses her and smiles looking at her and then to the direction the limousine drove off to. DAVE then leans in to invade their space.
DAVE
Well, what are you waiting for? (beat) Let’s get to the reception! (to SUZANNE) It’s open bar right?
SUZANNE gives DAVE a look.
STEVE
(to SUZANNE)
Some things never change.
DAVE
What?
JENNIFER leans in to grab DAVE and pull him away.
JENNIFER
I’m trying my best to improve you!
DAVE
There are no improvements to be made.
STEVE walks away with SUZANNE looking at DAVE.
STEVE
Right.
JENNIFER hits DAVE with her purse playfully. DAVE turns to her as to say, "What?"
CUT TO:
EXT. THE SIDEWALK of THE CHURCH - fall day
STEVE and SUZANNE walk hand in hand away from the church heading towards STEVE's car. We see them from behind as they walk away.
SUZANNE
I must say, I love how you look in a tuxedo.
STEVE
You kidding me? If everyday was prom night I’d be a mad chic-magnet.
SUZANNE
God, can’t you ever take a compliment without inflating your ego.
STEVE
Oh, you love it. That’s why you always compliment me.
SUZANNE
Oh, is that why?
STEVE
That and because no one could resist giving me props for this get-up.
SUZANNE
You’re so sexy when you talk street like that. Didn’t you grow up in the burbs?
STEVE
Yes, but in a very tough neighborhood.
SUZANNE laughs and grabs on to STEVE's arm with both hands pulling him closer to her as they walk. They turn the corner and we stay focused on the street as the credits roll. People causally stroll down the street from the wedding.
FADE OUT:
THE END