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5th Hour Blues by Jacob King Copyright 2002 Jacob King FADE IN to a photograph of a school, roll OPENING TITLES as we see the following happen. 1. INT. SCHOOL-MORNING-SUNNY We see principal DONALD SHEEHAN, a lanky, mid-thirties man in a white collared shirt with a striped tie pace quickly after PIPER MORGAN after Piper rudely bumps into him. Morgan is a cocky, athletic-looking teenager that knows he's rich and that there's nothing Sheehan can do to him. JONATHAN(VO) This is my school. It is a catholic school named St. Teresa's middle school. I am in eighth grade, which is as high as this school goes up to. The older guy is Principal Sheehan. The kid is Piper Morgan. It's Sheehans first day on the job and he hasn't learned the rules yet. SHEEHAN (Still frantically chasing Piper) Young man, back there you were very discourteous to me- PIPER (Interrupting) Go to hell. SHEEHAN (Shocked) What did you just say to me young man? PIPER Go to hell. Piss off. I can buy and sell you, you piece of crap. SHEEHAN (Angrily) All right. That's it. You get your little butt into my office RIGHT NOW, MISTER! JONATHAN(VO) Sheehan just got a rude awakening. Piper's dad is on the school board and Sheehan is powerless to discipline Piper in any way. Of course, he doesn't know that yet. 2. EXT. SCHOOL-MOMENTS LATER-RAINING HEAVILY ANGLE ON a black Lexus as it pulls up to the school. NEW ANGLE on a door as it opens. PULL BACK to reveal RANDAL WILSON, a geeky-looking Straight A's student. As he steps toward the sidewalk without so much as an umbrella or raincoat to keep him dry, the Lexus drives away, carelessly splashing water on his pants and sweater. JONATHAN (VO) This is Randal Wilson, a complete suck-up and self proclaimed genius. He tries so desperately to be noticed, in yet, no one seems to care. During the VO, STEADICAM ON Randal as he walks up the stairs to the door that leads inside the school. He opens it. 3. INT. SCHOOL-SECONDS LATER-DAY-SUNNY The kids all see his wet trousers and they start laughing. JAY Hey Randal, didja piss yourself? RANDAL (Defensively) No. No I didn't. The kids around JAY WALTERS, a super-popular, super-attractive, absolutely perfect-in-every-way looking kid, start laughing. This only eggs Jay on. JAY I think you did piss yourself. RANDAL (Starting to blush) Seriously I didn't. I promise. JAY Then why the hell are your pants wet, smartboy? RANDAL (Voice becoming shaky) Look, my parents splashed water on me when I got out of the car. It was an accident, I'm sure. If you don't mind, I'll just be moseying right along now. JAY Moseying? Where did that come from? Sounds like something a hick would say. (With a fake southern accent) Wayal pardner, ah'll just be moseyin' raght a-long. Torrents of laughter from surrounding students. RANDAL (Tears in his eyes) Look, I just wanna go to my class now. I, (starts to cry) didn't pee my pants I, swear. JAY (With a fake, motherly voice) Poor baby! He's a-cryin'. Mama is soooooo sorry. CLOSE ANGLE ON Randal changing from sad to livid. RANDAL (Honestly angry) Jay, you dork. You did this to me ever damn time you had the chance last year. You think you're really hot shit, don't you? JAY Dork? I haven't heard that word since the last time I watched Sesame Street! Good God! Randal, in a fit of anger, musters up enough guts to walk up to Jay and give him a measly little punch in the arm. Jay and his friends guffaw at Randal, then Jay socks Randal hard in the stomach. Randal drops weakly to his knees as Jay squats down to meet him. JAY Never touch me again. Got that, faggot? RANDAL (Sobbing and clutching his stomach) Yeah, I do. Sorry, Jay. 4. INT. JULIA'S CLASSROOM-MOMENTS LATER ANGLE ON a strikingly beautiful woman as she frantically scribbles something down on a piece of paper. When she finishes, she realizes that she hasn't even written her name on the chalkboard yet, and mumbles something to herself as she does so. JONATHAN(VO) This is Julia Mcmahon. She is the new religion teacher here at St. Theresa's. When she is finally finished writing her name on the board, Julia plops tiredly upon her chair. A bell rings, and students come rushing into class. Once they are all seated, a smiling Julia stands and picks up a piece of chalk. JULIA Hello class, I'm your religion teacher this year, my name is Julia Mcmahon. ANGLE ON STUDENT 1 as he leans over to STUDENT 2. He cups his hand around his mouth, and whispers into Student 2's ear. STUDENT 1 Man, I'd rather her be my sex ed teacher. I'd really like to have a hands on learning experience with her, if you know what I mean. Student 2 laughs uproariously. ANGLE ON Julia as she blushes and pretends not to notice. JULIA 5. INT. HALLWAY-SIMULTANEOUSLY ANGLE ON a short, thin kid. His name is JONATHAN PERRY. He is standing, oblivious, in the hall as his fellow students pass by and bump into him, his eyes are directed at us. JONATHAN(VO) How do I know all this? Who am I? My name is Jonathan Perry and I can't help but be disgusted by the way people treat eachother around here. I guess you could call me the main character, but everyone in this story plays an important role. If you don't get what I'm saying by now, don't worry. You will by the time this whole thing is over. A bell rings. Jonathan's POV as he walks to his first hour, English. There we see MRS. PRAUN, an ugly old bat of a teacher looking menacingly at students through short spectacles that are barely on the end of her nose. MRS. PRAUN Class, my name is Mrs. Praun and I will be your English teacher for this year. Now for the class rules... 6. INT. SHEEHAN'S OFFICE-SIMULTANEOUSLY Sheehan is pulling Piper by the arm into his office. Piper looks indifferent and bored. SHEEHAN (Seating himself at his desk) Sit down, young man. PIPER I prefer to stand. SHEEHAN I don't care what you prefer, put your tush to the cush, or else I'll call your parents. PIPER (Laughing) You actually think my dad gives a damn about what you have to say about me or what I did? Huh? SHEEHAN I happen to have met your father at a school board meeting last week, he is a very nice man. I'm quite confident that he will be as shocked as I am with your behavior. Now, sit down. PIPER (Annoyed) Fine. Look, I don't about what your naive perception of my dad happens to be, but rest assured, when he finds out about the way you've been treating me, you know damn well what's gonna hit the fan. SHEEHAN (Angry) Don't you DARE use that language in my school ever again! PIPER (Standing up, getting ready to leave) You know what? I don't have time for you or for this. My dad is on the school board and I'm gonna tell him all the shit you put me through- SHEEHAN (Interrupting) First, if you don't stop swearing, I'm gonna call Sister Agatha in here and am going to interrupt your dad during his busy day at work so we can all sit and conference about your colorful vocabulary. Second, I haven't done anything to you, so what could you possibly- PIPER (Interrupting) You are one stupid ass, you know that? You start yelling at me over nothing- SHEEHAN You bumped into me and were very rude about it! PIPER Then you tell me I'm rude and threaten to call my dad. SHEEHAN You are rude! PIPER (Opening the door to leave) Fuck off, Sheehan. SHEEHAN That's it, mister, sit your butt back down, I'm calling you're parents. Piper sits back down. ANGLE ON the telephone as we see Sheehan's fingers angrily punching in seven digits. SHEEHAN Hello. May I speak to Mister Morgan, please? This is rather important, it is regarding his son's behavior.(Pauses briefly) Surely. My name is Donald Sheehan.(Another brief pause) Mr. Morgan, I'm sorry to bother you, but your son has been very rude to me today. First, he bumped into me and didn't even excuse himself, then he starts directing profane insults at me-(We hear laughter on the other end of the line)it's not amusing, Mr. Morgan. Mr. Morgan? (A dial tone is now the only sound coming from the receiver.) SHEEHAN (In shock) He hung up! PIPER (Mock surprise) Well I'll be damned! Piper quickly exits and Sheehan does nothing to stop him. 7. INT. GYM CLASS-MOMENTS LATER ANGLE ON COACH HARTWELL, a tough, mid-fifties military-looking gym teacher as he paces across a line of seated students. HARTWELL Listen up, I'm coach Hartwell and I will be in charge of your physical education this year. If you give any effort whatsoever, I'll make sure you get a decent grade in my class. Now, for our first activity this year, we'll be playing dodgeball. Which of you all want to be the captains? (Randal and Jay raise their hands first) HARTWELL All right, you two. What are your names? RANDAL Randal Wilson, sir. JAY I'm Jay Walters. HARTWELL You guys better get up front, here and pick teams. They both rise and move toward the front, Randal seems much more unsure about it. His eyes are still red from his earlier encounter with Jay. JAY I'll take John. After Saying this, he points to what appears to be an old friend. They give a high five and Hartwell looks at Randal, indicating that it is his turn to pick. RANDAL ummm... I'll take her. Gestures at an extremely attractive girl named TRACY SPENCER who, as we can see, is very embarrassed by the fact that the school geek picked her to be on his team. She walks with shame up to where Randal stands. TRACY (Whispering) Thanks, asshole. HARTWELL (Pleasantly Surprised) Randal, I'm very proud of you for picking a girl to be on your team before anyone else. I think that the whole class has learned something good about you today, son. ANGLE ON a clock as the hand moves ahead forty minutes. NEW ANGLE ON a bell as it rings. 8. INT. SPANISH CLASS-MOMENTS LATER CAMERA SLOWLY MOVES IN ON a pleasant-looking older Hispanic woman, MRS. GONZALES, as she addresses a class full of students. MRS. GONZALES Hello, class. Most of you probably know me from last year. Just in case you don't, my name is Mrs. Gonzales. ANGLE ON Piper as, while Mrs. Gonzales speaks, he leans over to a girl. Whispering, he makes an attempt at conversation. MRS. GONZALES Piper, I would appreciate if you would give me the respect I deserve while I am speaking. PIPER Mrs. Gonzales, how do you say "Kiss my ass." in Spanish? This comment is followed by hearty laughter from the class and a blush on MRS. Gonzales' face. After all the commotion ceases, Piper starts whispering again and Mrs. Gonzales continues lecturing, oblivious. 9. INT. ENGLISH CLASS-MOMENTS LATER WIDE ANGLE ON MRS. PRAUN as she paces across her classroom. MRS. PRAUN Well class, now that I've laid the ground rules, would anyone like to share the names of their favorite books with us? Randal's hand shoots up like lightning. His face is beaming with pride and expectation. MRS. PRAUN Randal, I hope you can name off a few good ones for the class. RANDAL Mrs. Praun, I think that there is something wrong with me. I am a book maniac! I can't get my hands on enough books! Not even t.v. can cure me! In response to this comment, Mrs. Praun gives a hearty chuckle and the rest of the class gives an agonized groan. RANDAL (Continuing) On a more serious note, it's hard for me to pick just one favorite book. Some of my favorites are To Kill a Mockingbird, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Great Expectations... As Randal rattles off classic after classic, ANGLE ON Mrs. Praun's shining face as she sees a student that will actually appreciate her as a teacher. 10. INT. GYM CLASS-MOMENTS LATER WIDE ANGLE ON students playing dodgeball. Jonathan is finally let back in the game from off the sidelines and is pegged hard the second he steps into the playing field. FAST-MOTION MONTAGE of things like this happening to him over and over. 11. INT. JULIA'S RELIGION CLASS-MOMENTS LATER JULIA Class, today, even in this hour, I've noticed us having some problems with respect. Now, I'd appreciate it if you viewed me only as your teacher, not as anything else. PIPER I'd like to view you naked, baby. After hearing this, the class bursts into uproarious laughter. Julia turns red with a blush. JULIA (Acting like she didn't hear) Umm... Well, class is almost over and I want to let everyone know that after third hour, everyone will meet in the cafeteria for a snack. Then, we'll all go to the auditorium to discuss our new program for this year. A bell rings and students get their things in order and rush hurriedly to their next class. When they have all left, Julia lands on her chair with a thud and covers her head in her arms. Deep, low sobs can be heard as CAMERA SLOWLY ZOOMS IN. 12. INT. CAFETERIA-MOMENTS LATER All of the students are seated and begin to chatter as an ugly, heavyset middle aged LUNCH LADY eyes the students. Crackers on napkins are passed out, table by table. The lunch lady is apparently annoyed by all this chatter. LUNCH LADY Now, kids, sit down and shut up! (The room suddenly goes silent) This is my lunch room and your gonna obey my rules. I'm new, but that shouldn't mean anything to you. If there's one thing you're gonna learn at this school, it's gonna be to respect your elders. If I see any misconduct in my lunch hall, I ain't gonna call the principal, yer gonna have to deal with me, and that's gonna be a lot less fun. WIDE ANGLE ON the students sitting down. All of them seem to be almost reverent in their fear of her except one, lone figure who is now rising up with a huge smirk on his face. PIPER (Grinning) Sir, yes sir! Students burst into and enduring laughter. CLOSE UP of lunch lady's shocked face. OVER THE SHOULDER SHOT of lunch lady pacing toward a still-grinning Piper. LUNCH LADY (Faking kindness) Why don't you just come into the back room with me, alright hon? PIPER Aye, Aye, sir! Piper follows the lunch lady into the back room, where there are a bunch of cafeteria supplies, a small desk, and two chairs. One of the chairs is behind the desk, the other is directly in front of the desk, facing the one behind. The lunch lady takes the former chair and Piper takes the latter. LUNCH LADY (Spit flies out of her mouth as she talks) Well, what do you have to say for yourself, you little shit? PIPER Wait there one minute, bitch. You don't have any right to speak to me that way. LUNCH LADY But you have a right to speak to me that way? I don't think so, you slimy bastard. PIPER You're gonna lose your job for that one, you old battle axe. LUNCH LADY I wouldn't so sure about that. PIPER I would. LUNCH LADY How's that? PIPER 'Cause my dad's on the school board, that's how. LUNCH LADY I could tell him about the way you treated me. PIPER I could tell him that you tried to molest me when you called me back here, who d'you think he'd believe, huh? LUNCH LADY (A little frightened) I fuckin' dare you. PIPER That, of course, doesn't have to be what happens. I could come out apologizing, and you could keep your job. Of course, (An evil-looking smirk comes on his face) that'll cost you. LUNCH LADY Name it. PIPER First, every time I do something against the rules at lunch, i.e. beat the shit out of someone, you have to look the other way and swear that you didn't see a damned thing. Second, I want a third of what you earn every day. LUNCH LADY Are you out of you're ever-lovin' mind? PIPER (In a babyish voice) Mommy, she asked if she could stick her hands down my pants... LUNCH LADY (Interrupting) All right, I get the picture. 13. INT. AUDITORIUM-MOMENTS LATER ANGLE ON a large auditorium as the CAMERA PANS OVER all of the 8th grade students sitting and talking. NEW ANGLE ON Sheehan as he walks out from behind a curtain on a stage in front of where the students are. He walks slowly toward the microphone and picks it up. We hear a little feedback as he starts to speak, all the kids groan and hold their ears. Afterwards, since he realizes that nobody heard what he was saying because they were too busy groaning and holding their ears, he starts again. SHEEHAN Hi, kids, sorry about that feedback(gives a little chuckle.)Well, I called you all here today so we could talk about our the new program. It doesn't really have a name, so we decided just to call it 5th hour discussion. Well, as you may or may not know, last year, we had some problems with the way people treated one another, so, with the help of Sister Agatha and our new religion teacher, Julia McMahon, we created a way to deal with these issues. In 5th hour discussion, we each talk about our day, and/or what's bothering us about our life. Everyone that wants to will have the chance to speak, and it will go on as long as is necessary, even if it takes some time away from your next couple of class. A clapping sound can be heard from way in the back, its Piper, and he seems amused. PIPER Hell, yeah, group therapy never sounded so fuckin' good! It looks like Sheehan has just snapped, this comment from Piper is quite obviously the straw that broke the camel's back. SHEEHAN (Gesturing towards Julia) Julia, I'd appreciate if you would take it from here. I've got some business I need to take care of. Sheehan leaps off the stage as Julia timidly walks up a few short stairs that lead onto it. Meanwhile, Sheehan is racing down the seats in the auditorium. After finding Piper, Sheehan grabs him by the ear and forces him out of the auditorium. 14. INT. SHEEHAN'S OFFICE-MOMENTS LATER Piper's vulgar cries of protest fall on seemingly deaf ears as he is pulled into the principal's office and the door is slammed shut. SHEEHAN (Yelling at the top of his lungs) That's it, young man! I don't care about who your father is, how big an influence he has in this school, or his financial status, you're getting suspended! PIPER Don't do this, Sheehan. SHEEHAN I'm calling your mother to come and pick you up, and we both know that she won't be as lenient as your father. PIPER Look I don't wanna cause any trouble- SHEEHAN (Interrupting) You've already caused more trouble than I can stand. Sheehan picks up the phone and starts dialing a number. 15. INT. AUDITORIUM-SIMULTANEOUS JULIA All right, doesn't this sound like a great experience? I'll share first, then I'll give the rest of you an opportunity. Well, today, some rather disrespectful things were said to me and I didn't appreciate it at all. I don't like the way you all look at me(getting teary-eyed.) And I want you to stop doing it, okay? Seeing that she can't go on much longer without crying again, she collects herself and asks who would like to go next. Of course, the first hand to be raised is Randal's. She calls on him and he gets on the stage, and takes the microphone, ready to speak. RANDAL Well, today, as you guys probably know, it was raining. So, when I got out of my parents' car, I was splashed as they drove away. When I get inside, someone accused me of having bladder control problems, which isn't true(we hear a couple of chuckles in the area where kids are sitting.) Anyway, it was really embarrassing and I'm kinda bummed over it. JAY (Yelling from his seat) 'Bummed?' Who the hell says bummed anymore, honestly. Jesus Randal, what the fuck is it with you, huh? Randal bursts into tears and the whole auditorium explodes into laughter. Julia comes over and hugs him, and she kindly leads him back to his seat. JONATHAN(VO) Nothing else interesting happened until three o'clock. ANGLE ON a clock just long enough for us to see that it is now three, in the background we can hear a bell ringing incessantly. WIDE ANGLE ON a locker room, where students are hurriedly getting their things in order so that they can go home. ZOOM IN ON Randal, who has just now gotten his things and is going out the door. Jay bumps intentionally into him, but Randal pays no attention. Randal gets into the passenger seat of a car that's been waiting outside for him. In the driver's seat is BRITNEY ANHEIM, the babysitter his parents hired to take care of him. BRITNEY So, how was your day at school? RANDAL Shitty. How was your day? BRITNEY All right. Suddenly, a student steps directly in front of their car, its Jonathan. A horn honks and the car stops with the squeak of tires on pavement. Britney sticks her head out the window. BRITNEY Watch where your goin'! I almost ran you over. CAMERA FOLLOWS Jonathan as he steps onto a sidewalk, and paces toward a neighborhood road. He walks up a driveway and steps onto the porch of a house. ANGLE ON a welcome mat as Jonathan's hand pulls it back to reveal a key. Jonathan picks up the key, unlocks the front door to his house, and steps inside, putting the key back in it's original position and closing the door. BOWSER, a rather large golden retriever, scrambles frantically towards its owner, jumping on and nearly tackling him. Jonathan sets his backpack down and proceeds to cuddle Bowser. JONATHAN Hey, buddy. How you doin'? Bowser responds by knocking Jonathan down and licking his face unceasingly. Jonathan gives a few feeble protests but is giggling so frantically that his words are incomprehensible. After a while, he gets up off the ground and walks past the living room into the kitchen, opening the door to the freezer. Jonathan's POV as he sorts through an array of microwave meals, eventually picking out a pasta dish. NEW ANGLE as CAMEARA SLOWLY PULLS BACK FROM a glowing microwave. Jonathan's POV as he opens a can of dog food and Bowser sprints hungrily towards it. Jonathan plops down on a couch, pasta in his lap, and watches television as he eats. Bowser joins him and Jonathan stokes his back lovingly. JONATHAN (VO) This is what I came home to every day last year, and I doubt that will change for me any time soon. It's not at all that my parents don't love me, they do more than anything in the world, that's why they work so hard. I respect them for it. In fact, I would venture to say that I have one of the most loving families in the whole school. Almost everyone else's parents either work for themselves, and leave their kids with a babysitter, or they think they do a great job as parents but let their kids do whatever they want and behave however they want. If you ask me, you might as well abort your child rather than raise them like that. My parents always hug me when they come home, they gave me a basic set of morals and values, expecting me to adhere to them. In all honesty, I couldn't ask for a better set of parents and wouldn't have my life any other way. 16. INT. PIPER'S HOUSE-ABOUT AN HOUR LATER Piper is sitting alone in the front of his gargantuan house as we hear the front door opening, his father, JOHN MORGAN is home. Mr. Morgan is about as buff and mean as they come, and refuses to discipline his son because he is incapable of the thought that Piper is not perfect. JOHN (OC) How was school today, son? Was Sheehan still an asshole even after I set the bastard straight? PIPER Yeah, the prick suspended me. JOHN (Now looking Piper in the eye) That piece of shit suspended you?(Piper nods)Well, we'll just have to show that stupid motherfucker who's boss, won't we? PIPER (Beaming) Yeah, dad. ANGLE ON Mr. Morgan as he dials the phone number for the school. After telling Sheehan to stay there because he needs to talk to him, he hangs up and heads for the door. At that very moment, JUDY MORGAN, Piper's gorgeous, mid-forties mother chases after him. JUDY (Putting her hand on his shoulder) Hon, please. Maybe it was Piper's fault this time. JOHN Dammit, hon. I don't wanna hear that. Do you think that your son, your very own flesh and blood, could ever deserve so much as a slap on the wrist? With this, Mr. Morgan exits quickly out the door, gets into his car, and drives away. 17. EXT. SAINT THERESA'S-NIGHT Mr. Morgan's car pulls up to the school, he gets out, and jogs angrily up the stairs that lead to the entrance. 18. INT. SHEEHAN'S OFFICE-SECONDS LATER Sheehan is sitting inside his office, looking afraid, when Mr. Morgan bursts through the door and grabs Sheehan by the shirt collar. JOHN Did you suspend my boy today, you little pecker? SHEEHAN Well... Um... JOHN Huh? I'm sorry, you're gonna have to repeat that one for me. SHEEHAN (A sudden wave of courage has come over him) Yes, yes I did. Why? Because he was being extremely disruptive and- Sheehan doesn't get to finish the sentence because, in a flash, Mr. Morgans fist shoots across his face. Sheehan rockets back into a wall, knocking down some pictures and a few degrees that are hanging on it. He immediately rises up and is met just as quickly by a punch in the stomach, which sends him back from whence he came. Blow after blow, Mr. Morgan curses and yells about how Sheehan will know now never to so much as call his son out of class for disciplinary matters. When he is finished, Sheehan is nothing more than a bruised wreck on the floor. JOHN And don't you dare call the police, I'm a major donator to this school. Plus, no one would believe you about this anyway... He exits, laughing to himself. After Sheehan is sure that Mr. Morgan has vacated the premises, he rises up and tends to his wounds in the boy's room. They are not nearly as bad as he originally suspected, no bones are broken, just a bleeding nose and lip along with what feel like a few bruised ribs. SHEEHAN (Looking at himself in the mirror) You'll be alright, tiger. But, you'd better not call the hospital unless you want to have to explain everything. Suddenly, as he looks into the mirror a little longer, he bursts into tears. SHEEHAN (Sobbing) Look at you...pitiful. That's what you are. You can't do anything about it either, can you? The school board has got you right where they want you. Punches a wall in futility and an audible crack can be heard as he cries out in pain. He cradles his wounded right hand in his left and we see blood running though his left fingers. He looks at his hand in horror, discovering it is broken. Marching into his office, he gets his keys and locks up, all with his working hand. 19. EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT-SECONDS LATER Sheehan races across the parking lot to where his car is, opening it, starting it, and steering it to the hospital, all done left handed. 20. INT. JULIA'S HOUSE-SIMULTANEOUSLY ANGLE ON a lighter being placed at the tip of a cigarette, in seconds we see it start to glow. PULL BACK to reveal Julia hastily cooking herself some dinner. As she takes a long, nervous draw, we see her flip something inside the pan she is cooking with. Suddenly, a doorbell rings and she looks quickly at her reflection in a mirror stuck to the refrigerator before she opens the door and a tall, handsome man comes in. BILL MERCER, is Julia's date for this evening. Introduced to her by a friend, he seems like everything a woman could want in a man. BILL Hi there. JULIA (giggling) Hi. BILL Something funny? JULIA No, I just had no idea how cute you were going to be. But now I know what Sally meant when she said... nevermind. Bill gives a smug grin. BILL What are you cooking? It smells delicious. 21. INT. HOSPITAL-SIMULTANEOUS ANGLE ON Sheeehan as a DOCTOR comes in the room. DOCTOR Well, Donald it looks like you had a pretty bad fall down that staircase. SHEEHAN Yeah. Are you gonna reset it? DOCTOR Yes, but it will only hurt for a second. All right, I'm going to take your hand and we're gonna reset the bone, okay? SHEEHAN Fine with me. NEW ANGLE ON Sheehan's hand as the doctor puts the broken bone back into place, Sheehan gives a moan. 22. INT. JULIA'S HOUSE-MOMENTS LATER WIDE ANGLE ON Julia and Bill sitting at opposite ends of a table and dining on the meal she prepared. BILL (Talking with a full mouth) This is really good! I'm serious, this is some of the best food I've had in a long time. JULIA Thank you, I guess I just got lucky this time. BILL So, Julia, what do you do? JULIA I'm a teacher. What about you? BILL Me? I'm a writer. But, enough about me. Let's talk about you. This causes both of them to giggle. CROSSFADE INTO Julia walking Bill to the door, empty plates can be seen in the sink. BILL I had a good time, you're a fun person to be around. JULIA You too. Call me again? BILL Sure. Bill pecks Julia on the cheek and she opens the door. 23. INT. RANDAL'S HOUSE-MOMENTS LATER ANGLE ON Randal standing at the door of his house with Britney, his babysitter. BRITNEY Now hon, I've gotta go. I already cleared this with your parents. With this, Britney leaves. In the background, a the sound of a phone ringing can be heard. Randal goes in the kitchen a and picks up the phone. RANDAL Hello... Hey mom!... What?... You can't be home tonight?... Who're you and dad staying with?... What hotel?... Well, that's okay. I love you. Hello? Hello? Looking sad, Randal lays the phone back onto the receiver and heads upstairs, where his bedroom is. 24. INT. PIPER'S HOUSE-SIMULTANEOUS Even though he discussed his business with Sheehan quite some time ago, John Morgan has just now gotten home. He walks proudly through the front door. PIPER Did you show that asshole who was boss? JOHN Fuckin' hell, yeah. Man, he was whimperin' like a tit baby by the time I was done with the bastard. PIPER (Laughing) You're the best fuckin' dad a kid could have. John goes over to hug Piper. JOHN It's 'cause I love ya, kid. 25. INT. JONATHAN'S HOUSE-SIMULTANEOUS Jonathan is sitting at a table with his parents, RON and LUCILLE PERRY. They are engaging in a lively discussion about something, but we don't hear it because ALL VOLUME IS MUTED OUT. They laugh and hug one another and it is made obvious that they greatly love each other. JONATHAN(VO) See? I told you I had it good, a loving family, and a cuddly dog. BILL Something funny? JULIA No, I just had no idea how cute you were going to be. But now I know what Sally meant when she said... nevermind. Bill gives a smug grin. BILL What are you cooking? It smells delicious. 21. INT. HOSPITAL-SIMULTANEOUS ANGLE ON Sheeehan as a DOCTOR comes in the room. DOCTOR Well, Donald it looks like you had a pretty bad fall down that staircase. SHEEHAN Yeah. Are you gonna reset it? DOCTOR Yes, but it will only hurt for a second. All right, I'm going to take your hand and we're gonna reset the bone, okay? SHEEHAN Fine with me. NEW ANGLE ON Sheehan's hand as the doctor puts the broken bone back into place, Sheehan gives a moan. 22. INT. JULIA'S HOUSE-MOMENTS LATER WIDE ANGLE ON Julia and Bill sitting at opposite ends of a table and dining on the meal she prepared. BILL (Talking with a full mouth) This is really good! I'm serious, this is some of the best food I've had in a long time. JULIA Thank you, I guess I just got lucky this time. BILL So, Julia, what do you do? JULIA I'm a teacher. What about you? BILL Me? I'm a writer. But, enough about me. Let's talk about you. This causes both of them to giggle. CROSSFADE INTO Julia walking Bill to the door, empty plates can be seen in the sink. BILL I had a good time, you're a fun person to be around. JULIA You too. Call me again? BILL Sure. Bill pecks Julia on the cheek and she opens the door. 23. INT. RANDAL'S HOUSE-MOMENTS LATER ANGLE ON Randal standing at the door of his house with Britney, his babysitter. BRITNEY Now hon, I've gotta go. I already cleared this with your parents. With this, Britney leaves. In the background, a the sound of a phone ringing can be heard. Randal goes in the kitchen a and picks up the phone. RANDAL Hello... Hey mom!... What?... You can't be home tonight?... Who're you and dad staying with?... What hotel?... Well, that's okay. I love you. Hello? Hello? Looking sad, Randal lays the phone back onto the receiver and heads upstairs, where his bedroom is. 24. INT. PIPER'S HOUSE-SIMULTANEOUS Even though he discussed his business with Sheehan quite some time ago, John Morgan has just now gotten home. He walks proudly through the front door. PIPER Did you show that asshole who was boss? JOHN Fuckin' hell, yeah. Man, he was whimperin' like a tit baby by the time I was done with the bastard. PIPER (Laughing) You're the best fuckin' dad a kid could have. John goes over to hug Piper. JOHN It's 'cause I love ya, kid. 25. INT. JONATHAN'S HOUSE-SIMULTANEOUS Jonathan is sitting at a table with his parents, RON and LUCILLE PERRY. They are engaging in a lively discussion about something, but we don't hear it because ALL VOLUME IS MUTED OUT. They laugh and hug one another and it is made obvious that they greatly love each other. JONATHAN(VO) See? I told you I had it good, a loving family, and a cuddly dog. At this moment, Bowser wobbles up to Jonathan as he is seated at the table, Jonathan smiles and pets him. SLOW MOTION. JONATHAN(VO) For what more could a boy ask? Now, we see a little MONTAGE OF CHARACTERS GETTING INTO BED ONE BY ONE. Starting with Julia, continuing with Sheehan, Piper, Randal, and, finally, Jonathan. TITLE CARD READS "WEEK 2." 25. INT. LUNCHROOM-NOON ANGLE ON Randal as he is sitting with his group of people who like him. As he pulls a salad out of his lunch bag, a passing TEACHER compliments him on eating healthy foods. PAN TO THE LEFT where we see Piper sitting by his best friend, Jay Walters. Also sitting by him are TRACY SPENCER, gorgeous, blonde-headed, well developed teen, JIM BLACK, a short, skinny, overall ugly kid, along with Student 1 and 2. The first thing heard is a loud and juicy belch coming from Piper. PIPER You guys wanna know why Sheehan has a fuckin' cast on his fuckin' arm? 'Cause my dad fuckin' put it there. TRACY (Stars in her eyes) Really? Your dad must be quite a man! PIPER Sure as shit. Hell, he ripped Sheehan a new asshole. Didn't you notice the band-aids all over Sheehan's fuckin' ugly face? I mean, fuck, if my dad hadn't a stopped, Sheehan would have gotten his ass killed! This is answered by laughter from the other students. JIM Man, if he put me through all the shit he put you through, I woulda come down there and whipped his ass myself! PIPER Jim, who're you kidding? Tracy could beat the shit out of you! Even more laughter as CAMERA PULLS BACK to reveal a small table that is completely abandoned until Jonathan comes and sets his lunch on it, grabbing the chair and planting his butt on it. He begins eating when Julia comes over and pulls up a chair. JULIA Hi there. How was your day? Are you alright? JONATHAN Yeah, I'm fine. Why? JULIA Well, there's no one sitting by you, and you seem very lonely. JONATHAN I'm kind of a loner. I've always been this way and I'm not gonna start to let it bother me now. JULIA (Starting to smile) Well, I haven't exactly hit it off with the other teachers(Gesturing with her thumb to where the teachers are sitting. JONATHAN How's that? JULIA Um...not to date anyone, but I'm a lot younger than my fellow employees(Gesturing again with her thumb). They giggle and Julia's face lights up with an ear-to-ear grin. JONATHAN (Tongue in cheek) I don't know, Miss Julia. You aren't pushing forty?(She laughs)What about fifty? She gives him a kiddie punch. JULIA (Laughing hysterically) S..Stop! M-My lungs are aching. Jonathan stands up and does an old lady impression. JONATHAN (Grandmother voice) Ohh...hello there, my name is Miss Julia. Julia is laughing uncontrollably in, big, loud, guffaws. JULIA Please, you're killing me! Oh! P-Please stop!(Jonathan Continues) No! Qui... Before she can finish, her laughs interrupt what she was trying to say. FADE INTO 26. INT. AUDITORIUM-A LITTLE WHILE LATER As Randal is, once again standing in front of the auditorium Y fifth hour. RANDAL Hey, umm... well... I wanted to give this another try and I'm the first student to do this, so take it easy on me. Randal's croonies, sitting up front, give a little chuckle. ANGLE ON Jay and Piper, seated towards the middle. JAY (Whispering) Stupid bastard. (Retard voice) I'm a little fucker, whoo! Yeah, thanks for all your support blah blah blah. (Yelling)FUCK YOU! YEAH YOU HEARD ME, YOU LITTLE FUDGE PACKER! RANDAL Jay, with all due respect, I seriously doubt you have the courage or the self-respect to get up and talk like I'm doing. After all, it would get pretty boring anyway. All's you'd talk about would be how you've been a jerk to everyone, and all's they'd do is laugh. That's not the point. JAY (Still yelling) ALRIGHT, YOU FUCKIN' ASKED FOR IT, SHITHEAD. I'M COMIN' UP THERE AND I'M GONNA TELL THE WHOLE FUCKIN' WORLD ABOUT MY DAY. IS THAT OKAY WITH YOU, ASSHOLE? RANDAL (Calm) Be my guest. As Jay nears the stage, Randal steps away from the podium. Once Jay is standing on the stage, Randal makes a sweeping gesture with his arm, as if inviting Jay to the podium. Jay walks towards Randal and whispers. JAY (Whispering) You're dead, fucker. Jay clears his voice and stands erect after stepping up. Well, today was just like any other day for me I guess... Um, I ate lunch and talked with Piper Morgan(The audience cheers)...Um, well, it was alright, this little pipsqueak put me up to doin' this shit(Gestures with thumb at Randal)... You know what? This is actually kinda fun! I'm gonna get all the shit I go through off my chest. Well, let me give it to ya straight, folks, life for me ain't easy. Shit, sometimes it's fuckin' difficult. Hell, I, on occasion, am one to cry myself to sleep at night. As Jay speaks about his problems, we can see relief come to him. The audience erupts in cheers and, when he is finished, flock to him and give him hugs as he gets off of the stage. FADE INTO NUMEROUS IMPROVISED SCENES where people hug and cry as Jonathan gives VO narration. JONATHAN(VO) Wow, I'd never seen anyone my age open up like my fellow classmates did. Great, right? Wrong! This was the worst disaster ever to happen to the school, why? Let me show you. ANGLE ON Piper as he walks over to Randal at lunch, when the teachers aren't looking. He sneaks over and spills a carton of milk on his head. RANDAL Fuckin' stop it, you bastards. What the fuck is your fuckin' problem? Dammit! Shit! Now there's fuckin' milk all over me, you pricks. CUT TO Piper, standing at the podium in 5th hour. PIPER (Misty-eyed) Randal, man, I just wanna say I'm sorry for all the shit I put you through today... As he speaks FADE INTO Randal after school being beaten up by Piper and Jay. His nose if bloody and he is cradling his stomach. PIPER That's for callin' me a bastard. Jay Pulls Randal's hair and deals him out a hard blow to the face. JAY And that one's for calling us pricks. JONATHAN(VO) As you can see, 5th hour merely became a vehicle for people to justify the horrible things they did all day. And, because everything seemed all right, most teachers really laid off the discipline because they figured that the students could solve their disputes after lunch. 27. INT. CLASSROOM-3:00-SUNNY ANGLE ON the intercom as Sheehan speaks through it. SHEEHAN Well, kids... it's three o'clock, have a nice weekend. CAMERA DOES AN EXTREMELY QUICK PULL BACK to reveal students hurriedly putting things in their backpacks and flying out the doors to the classroom as the bell rings. 28. INT. HALLWAY-SECONDS EARLIER WIDE ANGLE ON a deserted hallway as we hear the bell ring. Students burst out of the doors running straight towards the CAMERA. HOLD. CUT TO 29. EXT. ST. THERESA'S-3:00-SUNNY WIDE ANGLE ON school as students hurriedly exit building. QUICK ZOOM IN ON Randal walking down the steps, someone shoves him. He looks back and sees as CAMERA ZOOMS OUT that it is Jay JAY (Nicely) Hey, look, we okay? Can I talk to you about the book report due on Monday? RANDAL (Pleasantly Surprised) Sure! When? JAY Right now, pal. But, you see, we're gonna pay you to give us a report, so it has to be someplace hidden. RANDAL Okay, where's Piper? JAY He's... he's waiting in the secret place, follow me. Randal follows Jay into a dark corridor off school grounds. RANDAL Listen... I don't wanna seem rude or anything, but I gotta go. My ride- Randal is interrupted when Piper suddenly jumps out and punches him in the face. Randal holds his mouth as the two jump him. Piper socks him in the stomach and Jay gives him a backhand on the head. Randal gives a puny attempt at retaliation and they both proceed to shove him against the wall. RANDAL Motherfuckers... you can't do this to me... you bastards... stop it! Fuckin' STOP IT! Randal starts screaming and is given a firm knee to the balls by Jay. He drops down and proceeds to moan and mutter. Piper pulls him back up by the hair and punches him in the face several times. PIPER I don't care what you say, shithead. As long as you don't say our names, you'll still be breathing. JAY We did this to show you our power. Anytime we want you to do something school related for us, you'd better fuckin' do it, or else you're ass is gonna be jell-o. RANDAL Okay, alright, just don't hit me anymore. Just don't hurt me again. JAY We want the book reports that are due on Monday typed and worthy of an A. You fuckin' well better do it, or else we're gonna kick your ass so bad that shit's gonna be comin' out your little pecker. Piper laughs hard and they walk away. Once they are gone, Randal rolls over on his back and starts to weep bitterly. RANDAL (Crying very hard) You can't do this to me, assholes... can't motherfuckin' do it... assholes... cocksuckers... stupid, stupid... fuck!... dammit!... shithole fuckups... you can't fuckin' do this to me!... dammit!... shit!... Oh God... oh Lord pleasepleaseplease make the pain go away... make it stop... make it sto---p... PLEASE!... OH, OWW!... OHMANOHMAN... Randal clutches his stomach and cries as he lays on the ground. FADE TO 30. EXT. SCHOOL-A FEW MINUTES LATER-DAY Randal walking back up to school and seeing his mother, TASHA WILSON'S, car. He gets in. 31. INT. CAR-MOMENTS LATER TASHA Where the fuck were you, Randal? I've been waiting for twenty fucking... Oh my God, what happened to your face? An expression of annoyance comes over Tasha. RANDAL I fell. I got hurt. TASHA (Not-caring) Well, clean yourself up. You look like shit. RANDAL Why are you picking me up anyway? Where is Britney? TASHA (Smiling) Me and daddy are going on a business trip and Britney can't be here this weekend, so you'll just have to tag along. RANDAL Mom, no. I can't. I have a lot of homework to do. TASHA Just like you to not be grateful. RANDAL But I don't want to go! I have homework- TASHA (Interrupting) I don't give a flying fuck what you want, you little shit. The second we get home, you're gonna march your ass up those stairs and PACK YOUR GODDAM BAGS! RANDAL You don't give a flying fuck about me in general, do you mom? Tasha reaches over and slaps Randal very hard. TASHA That's what you get for saying I don't care, you little bastard. Randal starts to cry. TASHA What? What the fuck is it this time, you fuckin' baby? He cries harder. RANDAL (Trough his sobs) Dammit, mom. I can't believe you. I didn't really fall down, some kids came after school and beat me up and you didn't even care to question the story I gave that was obviously a lie anyway. You see, this is what I mean, you don't give a shit about me mom. TASHA You are so fuckin' stupid, y'know that? If you would have kept your bigass mouth shut, you wouldn't have got the shit kicked out of you in the first place. I hope you learned your lesson. RANDAL (Quietly, almost under his breath) Fuck you, mom. Tasha's eyes almost pop out of their sockets. She stops the car on the side of the road. TASHA Alright, that's it. Get out of the car. RANDAL. No. TASHA (Yelling) Did you fuckin' hear me? Are you fuckin' deaf? Get your fat fuckin ass out of the fuckin' car. Now mister! 32. EXT. SIDE OF THE ROAD-SECONDS LATER WIDE ANGLE ON Randal and Tasha outside of the car, standing face to face. TASHA Now, what did you say to me? RANDAL Nothing. TASHA Nothing? It sounded more like 'fuck you.' RANDAL I didn't say that. TASHA (Yelling again) Don't fuckin' lie to me, you stupid shit. You fuckin' said it. You think you can fuckin' say somethin' like that and then pull a fuckin' fast one on dear old mom, don't you, ya fuck? RANDAL (Now yelling also) Fine. I said it. I said, "Fuck you." I meant it, too. Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! You are a fucking bitch and you can go fuck yourself for all I care. I don't give a shit. TASHA (In a soft, mean voice) You stupid fuck. I hate you. I wish I would have had an abortion after Edward found out I was pregnant with you. Let me tell you something, you weren't supposed to be born. You were and accident, A FUCKING ACCIDENT!!!!! RANDAL (Still yelling) Well, honestly, I wish you would have. I'd be better off dead. JONATHAN(VO) Indeed he would. As you can see, Randal doesn't have a very happy home life. Though his parents are rarely home, when they are, they treat him like he is an animal. At his house, Randal gets no more respect than the family pet would. Well, let's have a look at Piper now. 32. INT. PIPER'S ROOM-AWHILE LATER Piper is sitting on his bed, talking on the Phone with Jay. Piper Movies...sounds cool...yeah...Fuck, man, that Tracy Spencer is one fine piece of ass... Hell, yeah... Dude, I'm gonna get on her tonight, let's see if she'll go along with it. Alright...see you there, bye. 33. INT. MOVIE THEATER-A FEW MINUTES LATER WIDE ANGLE ON Piper as he is sitting by Tracy and Jay, along with a group of about 30 friends. HOLD. He puts his arm around her and she does not resist, but looks uncomfortable. Piper doesn't seem to notice, and all eyes are on them. Piper takes Tracy's face in his hand and begins to passionately make out with her, much to the onlookers' satisfaction. QUICK ZOOM IN ON their faces as they passionately kiss. From the upper body movement, it is apparent that he is groping her breast, but this is OC. CUT TO 34. INT. SHEEHAN'S HOUSE-MOMENTS LATER-NIGHT Where Sheehan and his parents, DONALD SR. and DOROTHY are eating dinner at his small house in the suburbs. All the food is kept in large pots. As CAMERA focuses in, we see them taking big, heaping spoonfuls of whatever is in those pots. SHEEHAN Thanks, mom. This food is great. DOROTHY All for you, honey. How's your job going? SHEEHAN Alright, I guess. DONALD What's botherin' ya, son? SHEEHAN Some hotshot parent beat me up after I suspended their son. DONALD I never knew I raised such a scrawny little weakling of a son. DOROTHY Dear, please don't. DONALD You are such a wimp, son. Honestly, why didn't you boot both father and son out of the school? SHEEHAN It's not that easy, dad. DONALD And why not. SHEEHAN He's on the school board. DONALD So? SHEEHAN So, I couldn't kick him out because he's in a higher position than me, and does it part time. Besides, he's a major donator to the school. DONALD Isn't our son stupid, Dorothy? He should have been a writer, shouldn't he? DOROTHY Yes, dear. Sheehan stares bewilderedly at his mother. SHEEHAN You agree with him? DOROTHY Son, I tend to agree with your father on this one. From the age of eight on up, all you ever talked about was being a writer. When the first manuscript you ever completed failed to get published, you went crazy. SHEEHAN I simply realized that it wasn't my calling, mom. DONALD That was just your excuse because you refused to be successful. SHEEHAN If you guys don't stop it, I'm gonna leave. I swear. DONALD Why don't you stop kidding yourself, huh? SHEEHAN About what? DONALD About being a principal. You know that you always wanted to be a writer- SHEEHAN (Interrupting) Alright, that's it, I'm leaving. DONALD Fine, be in denial. Ruin your future. Be my guest. Sheehan gets up from the table, takes his coat, and marches out the door. 36. INT. RESTAURANT-MOMENTS LATER WIDE ANGLE ON Julia and Bill having dinner by candlelight in a sleazy little Italian place. BILL So, what kind of music do you like? JULIA Well, I'm a pretty big Dave Matthews fan, actually. BILL I absolutely loved "Before These Crowded Streets!" JULIA I completely adored it, but my favorite was "Crash." BILL Really? JULIA Yep. Bill leans forward and looks Julia in the eyes. A grave expression comes over his face. BILL Since this is our second date and all, I was wondering if you would like to come over to my place after dinner. JULIA (Looking Confused) For what? BILL For what? Are you serious? JULIA Of course I am. BILL Well... I thought maybe you'd like to spend the night. Julia's face freezes in an expression of shock. JULIA (Angrily) I thought you said you were Catholic! BILL I am. Why? JULIA I'm very sorry to inform you, but good Catholics don't sleep around. BILL Pardon me? Julia stands up from the table and begins to yell. JULIA And I thought you were moral! You want me to just hop into bed with you after only the second date? Are you kidding? Honestly, you'd better start seeing other people, because I'm not just your average slut. Let me tell you somethin', I am dedicated to my faith. I'm a Religion teacher, Bill. For crying out loud, Bill, what hit you on the head? Some of the people sitting in the restaurant start clapping as Julia storms out the door. A WAITRESS walks over to Bill. WAITRESS Will you be picking up the check today, sir? Bill gives her a mean look. 37. INT. PIPER'S HOUSE-SIMULTANEOUS Piper and Jay sneak into his room, Piper is holding a bottle of beer. They close the door, turn the lights on, and quietly sit down. Piper pries the beer open and takes a sip. They start to talk. JAY Dude, why didn't you get more than one? I thought we were gonna get fuckin' wasted. PIPER I would have, but I think my dad would have noticed if I took more than one. JAY Alright. Hey, are you and Tracy gonna go out, or somethin'? PIPER Fuckin should. I mean, her tits are so big. Motherfuck! They laugh. JAY You thinkin' that you're gonna get laid? PIPER Shit, yeah. I mean, if I have my way. Sometimes, bitches are fuckin' prude, if you know what I mean. One time, I went with this one chick for what had to be like two weeks, and all I got was A FUCKING BLOWJOB! Shit, man, I hope it's not like that with Tracy. If I get what I want, I'll have a dripping wet pussy just ready to get fucked anytime I fuckin' feel like it. Jay lightly punches Piper. JAY Attaboy, tiger. They laugh. Jay looks into Piper's eyes. JAY Listen, if I do something really cool, you gotta promise you won't get pissed. PIPER (Bewildered) Why the fuck would I get pissed? What is it? JAY Just promise, okay? PIPER Sure, I guess. I mean as long- Piper is interrupted as Jay leans forward and gives him a very passionate kiss and tries a go at his crotch. Piper pulls away and looks really angry. PIPER (Yelling) What the fuck didja do that for. Goddamn cocksucker. Now I'm gonna kick your ass. Jay tries to protest. JAY Piper, look man. I'm really fuckin' sorry. Please don't- Jay can't finish the sentence because Piper punches him right in the face. PIPER You wanted to assfuck me didn't you? JAY (Starting to cry) No, I really didn't, I just- Piper punches him again before he can complete the thought. Jay starts to cry, but as Piper continues to punch him, his tears become those of anger, and he starts to fight back. They quarrel in his room until Piper speaks up. PIPER You stupid fucker, leave right now. Get out of my fuckin' house this very fuckin' second. JAY But, my parents aren't home yet. That's why I'm spending the night, remember? They went on a tri- Jay is socked again, this time in the face. PIPER GET THE FUCK OUT! STEADICAM ON Jay as he walks out of the door to Piper's room. Some odd sexual noises are coming from downstairs. JAY Piper, come here, listen to this. PIPER If its nothing and your not out of here in ten minutes, I'm gonna kick your ass worse than I already have. JAY Okay, just listen. Can you hear it? PIPER Hell yeah I can hear it. What the fuck is that noise? JAY It sounds like people having sex. Isn't your mom away for the weekend? PIPER Yeah. Dude, lets sneak down and see who it is, but, after that, your ass had better be at home. They creep down the staircase and an OVER THE SHOULDER SHOT ON Piper reveals his father having sex with a young and very attractive SECRETARY. PIPER (Confused) Dad, is that you? John gives a startled look in Piper's direction and pulls his pants up. The secretary puts her blouse and dress back on and scrambles hurriedly out the door. Piper, looking bewildered, is finally responded to after what seems like and eternity. JOHN Look, son...um, could we not tell your mom about this because- PIPER Who the fuck you think you're talkin' to, Dad? You're over there givin' it to some chick I haven't fuckin' met yet and I'm supposed to fuckin' sit here? Don't tell mom! I thought you were a man, a role model! Fuck you. I'm sorry, but you are fucking nuts if you think I'm gonna sit on my ass and not say shit to mom. Don't tell mom? Jesus, dad. Exactly what in the flaming fuck are you thinking? Honestly, I'd like to know. This is bullshit. That is exactly what this shit is. JOHN Look, son. Sometimes parents do things that they regret- PIPER (Sarcastically) Oh yeah, dad. I'm so sure you fuckin' regret shooting your load all up in that dumb shit whore. No, dad. That doesn't cut the fucking mustard now, does it? JOHN Please, Piper. I love you. I just, I-I just. At this point, John bursts into tears. Piper walks up to where he is, but doesn't touch him. John tries to hug Piper, but Piper walks away from him. Jay is OC, but it is implied that he is sitting by the staircase. PIPER (Yelling) FUCK YOU! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE. Dammit, dad, why the hell did you have to do this shit, huh?(Starting to cry, as well)Fuckin' bastard. I hate you. I HATE YOU! Piper continues to scream at his father, but is incomprehensible due to the fact that he is crying so hard. He falls to his knees and his face is three inches above the ground. As his father bends down to comfort him, Piper gives John a swift punch to the gut, taking him completely by surprise. Piper continues to punch John until his father becomes fed up, this can be seen on his face. At this point, John punches Piper once, very hard, in the stomach. This sends Piper back to the ground from whence he came, clutching his wounded area. FADE OUT. 38. INT. JONATHAN'S HOUSE-EARLY THE NEXT DAY-SUNNY ANGLE ON A window, just after the sun has risen. NEW ANGLE ON Jonathan waking up as rays of sunlight caress his face. He begins to narrate. JONATHAN (VO) Early morning, Saturday. Today is the day I always vent out my stress. How? With the wonderful game of golf. 39. EXT. GOLF COURSE-MOMENTS LATER-SUNNY Jonathan is standing on the first tee, he narrates as he sets up his shot. JONATHAN (VO) Yes, laddies and gentlemen. It is here that I get all my worries out of the way. Jonathan steps confidently up to his ball, wags his club, and gets ready to swing. His form is terrible, and he hits a duffer that doesn't even make it off the tee box. JONATHAN No big deal, right dad? RON We're just out here to have fun, pal. Jonathan smiles. CUT TO him in the rough on another hole. There are lots of trees, and he is stuck right in the middle of them. JONATHAN (VO) This is my third shot in this hole, it's a par five, and I'm playing terrible. But, not to worry, I've got a feeling about this shot. He hits it and it goes about a hundred yards in the wrong direction. Now, he's in the other rough. CUT TO A NEW ANGLE of Jonathan driving, his ball goes right and splashes in a pond. OVER THE SHOULDER SHOT of him trying to get out of a sand trap, his ball goes straight over the green and into another trap on the other side. Shot by shot, he gets angrier and angrier. FADE INTO Jonathan in the trees, miserable. JONATHAN (VO) This was it, the last hole. I had played awfully the whole day. I now had but one chance to redeem myself to some degree, I would still shoot somewhere around fifty-six if I made this shot count. That is by no means a good round of golf, I know. But, at least, for me, I wouldn't walk away completely humiliated. Jonathan prepares for the shot. JONATHAN (VO) This time, I knew I could do it. I closed my eyes and envisioned the perfect shot. Jonathan closes his eyes. IN BLACK AND WHITE, we see him make and incredible shot. We realize this is all part of his vision for the perfect shot when COLOR COMES BACK and he opens his eyes, ready to swing. JONATHAN (VO) Here goes nothing. ANGLE ON Jonathan as he hits the ball. NEW ANGLE ON a tree, as a ball ricochets off of it at what appears to be a very high speed. WIDE ANGLE ON Jonathan and his surrounding area as the ball flies back towards him at what seems like the speed of light, and hits him right smack in the chest. He falls to the ground and moans in pain. After a few seconds, he growls angrily. JONATHAN (Yelling) I can't believe this! This is what I get for trying! He hurls his club at a tree, breaking it. He then stands up and begins to march around and violently kick things, all in frustration. 40. INT. THE WILSON'S CAR-MOMENTS LATER-SUNNY Randal and his two parents, Tasha and EDWARD WILSON are driving along the highway as he tries to finish the projects he was supposed to. He begins to turn green. RANDAL Mom, I'm not feelin' so good. Cou-could you pull over maybe? TASHA Hell, no. We're makin' good time. RANDAL C'mon, guys. I'm feeling really sick. EDWARD I don't give a jolly shit one way or the other how you feel son. If we all went by how we felt all the time, where would we be? RANDAL Dad, I'm warning you... TASHA You sure as fuck had better not spew on these new leather seats. RANDAL Oh, dammit, I think this is it... Tasha turns around in her seat to talk to her son face to face. TASHA Listen, buster. You're just gonna have to- She is unable to complete the thought, for, at that moment, a stream of projectile vomit flows directly from Randal's mouth to her face. It gets all over her, the expensive-looking suit that she's wearing, and the leather seats. TASHA (Stunned) You did not just do that. You did not just FUCKING do that! She slaps Randal, and starts talking in a vulgar form of gibberish. RANDAL I'm sorry. Tasha begins to laugh hysterically. TASHA I'm sorry. I'm sorry? What the fuck do you think we're running here, a confession booth? Huh? You little- RANDAL (Interrupting) Mom, mom... I'm gonna be sick again... stop the car. 41. EXT. HIGHWAY-MOMENTS LATER-DAY ANGLE ON a white minivan as it stops, and the left rear door opens. A foot comes out, followed by the rest of Randal. He takes a couple of breaths, and looks noticeably better. RANDAL I'm okay now, I promise. EDWARD You better not be shittin' us, boy. RANDAL Really, I'm fine. HOLD ON CAR and, as Randal gets back in, the sounds of vomiting along with a disgusted scream are heard. 42. INT. PIPER'S HOUSE-DAY-RAINING John, and Judy Morgan are sitting on a couch talking about what happened last night. Judy is balling, and John is just sitting there, looking ashamed. SHEEHAN Thanks, mom. This food is great. DOROTHY All for you, honey. How's your job going? SHEEHAN Alright, I guess. DONALD What's botherin' ya, son? SHEEHAN Some hotshot parent beat me up after I suspended their son. DONALD I never knew I raised such a scrawny little weakling of a son. DOROTHY Dear, please don't. DONALD You are such a wimp, son. Honestly, why didn't you boot both father and son out of the school? SHEEHAN It's not that easy, dad. DONALD And why not. SHEEHAN He's on the school board. DONALD So? SHEEHAN So, I couldn't kick him out because he's in a higher position than me, and does it part time. Besides, he's a major donator to the school. DONALD Isn't our son stupid, Dorothy? He should have been a writer, shouldn't he? DOROTHY Yes, dear. Sheehan stares bewilderedly at his mother. SHEEHAN You agree with him? DOROTHY Son, I tend to agree with your father on this one. From the age of eight on up, all you ever talked about was being a writer. When the first manuscript you ever completed failed to get published, you went crazy. SHEEHAN I simply realized that it wasn't my calling, mom. DONALD That was just your excuse because you refused to be successful. SHEEHAN If you guys don't stop it, I'm gonna leave. I swear. DONALD Why don't you stop kidding yourself, huh? SHEEHAN About what? DONALD About being a principal. You know that you always wanted to be a writer- SHEEHAN (Interrupting) Alright, that's it, I'm leaving. DONALD Fine, be in denial. Ruin your future. Be my guest. Sheehan gets up from the table, takes his coat, and marches out the door. 36. INT. RESTAURANT-MOMENTS LATER WIDE ANGLE ON Julia and Bill having dinner by candlelight in a sleazy little Italian place. BILL So, what kind of music do you like? JULIA Well, I'm a pretty big Dave Matthews fan, actually. BILL I absolutely loved "Before These Crowded Streets!" JULIA I completely adored it, but my favorite was "Crash." BILL Really? JULIA Yep. Bill leans forward and looks Julia in the eyes. A grave expression comes over his face. BILL Since this is our second date and all, I was wondering if you would like to come over to my place after dinner. JULIA (Looking Confused) For what? BILL For what? Are you serious? JULIA Of course I am. BILL Well... I thought maybe you'd like to spend the night. Julia's face freezes in an expression of shock. JULIA (Angrily) I thought you said you were Catholic! BILL I am. Why? JULIA I'm very sorry to inform you, but good Catholics don't sleep around. BILL Pardon me? Julia stands up from the table and begins to yell. JULIA And I thought you were moral! You want me to just hop into bed with you after only the second date? Are you kidding? Honestly, you'd better start seeing other people, because I'm not just your average slut. Let me tell you somethin', I am dedicated to my faith. I'm a Religion teacher, Bill. For crying out loud, Bill, what hit you on the head? Some of the people sitting in the restaurant start clapping as Julia storms out the door. A WAITRESS walks over to Bill. WAITRESS Will you be picking up the check today, sir? Bill gives her a mean look. 37. INT. PIPER'S HOUSE-SIMULTANEOUS Piper and Jay sneak into his room, Piper is holding a bottle of beer. They close the door, turn the lights on, and quietly sit down. Piper pries the beer open and takes a sip. They start to talk. JAY Dude, why didn't you get more than one? I thought we were gonna get fuckin' wasted. PIPER I would have, but I think my dad would have noticed if I took more than one. JAY Alright. Hey, are you and Tracy gonna go out, or somethin'? PIPER Fuckin should. I mean, her tits are so big. Motherfuck! They laugh. JAY You thinkin' that you're gonna get laid? PIPER Shit, yeah. I mean, if I have my way. Sometimes, bitches are fuckin' prude, if you know what I mean. One time, I went with this one chick for what had to be like two weeks, and all I got was A FUCKING BLOWJOB! Shit, man, I hope it's not like that with Tracy. If I get what I want, I'll have a dripping wet pussy just ready to get fucked anytime I fuckin' feel like it. Jay lightly punches Piper. JAY Attaboy, tiger. They laugh. Jay looks into Piper's eyes. JAY Listen, if I do something really cool, you gotta promise you won't get pissed. PIPER (Bewildered) Why the fuck would I get pissed? What is it? JAY Just promise, okay? PIPER Sure, I guess. I mean as long- Piper is interrupted as Jay leans forward and gives him a very passionate kiss and tries a go at his crotch. Piper pulls away and looks really angry. PIPER (Yelling) What the fuck didja do that for. Goddamn cocksucker. Now I'm gonna kick your ass. Jay tries to protest. JAY Piper, look man. I'm really fuckin' sorry. Please don't- Jay can't finish the sentence because Piper punches him right in the face. PIPER You wanted to assfuck me didn't you? JAY (Starting to cry) No, I really didn't, I just- Piper punches him again before he can complete the thought. Jay starts to cry, but as Piper continues to punch him, his tears become those of anger, and he starts to fight back. They quarrel in his room until Piper speaks up. PIPER You stupid fucker, leave right now. Get out of my fuckin' house this very fuckin' second. JAY But, my parents aren't home yet. That's why I'm spending the night, remember? They went on a tri- Jay is socked again, this time in the face. PIPER GET THE FUCK OUT! STEADICAM ON Jay as he walks out of the door to Piper's room. Some odd sexual noises are coming from downstairs. JAY Piper, come here, listen to this. PIPER If its nothing and your not out of here in ten minutes, I'm gonna kick your ass worse than I already have. JAY Okay, just listen. Can you hear it? PIPER Hell yeah I can hear it. What the fuck is that noise? JAY It sounds like people having sex. Isn't your mom away for the weekend? PIPER Yeah. Dude, lets sneak down and see who it is, but, after that, your ass had better be at home. They creep down the staircase and an OVER THE SHOULDER SHOT ON Piper reveals his father having sex with a young and very attractive SECRETARY. PIPER (Confused) Dad, is that you? John gives a startled look in Piper's direction and pulls his pants up. The secretary puts her blouse and dress back on and scrambles hurriedly out the door. Piper, looking bewildered, is finally responded to after what seems like and eternity. JOHN Look, son...um, could we not tell your mom about this because- PIPER Who the fuck you think you're talkin' to, Dad? You're over there givin' it to some chick I haven't fuckin' met yet and I'm supposed to fuckin' sit here? Don't tell mom! I thought you were a man, a role model! Fuck you. I'm sorry, but you are fucking nuts if you think I'm gonna sit on my ass and not say shit to mom. Don't tell mom? Jesus, dad. Exactly what in the flaming fuck are you thinking? Honestly, I'd like to know. This is bullshit. That is exactly what this shit is. JOHN Look, son. Sometimes parents do things that they regret- PIPER (Sarcastically) Oh yeah, dad. I'm so sure you fuckin' regret shooting your load all up in that dumb shit whore. No, dad. That doesn't cut the fucking mustard now, does it? JOHN Please, Piper. I love you. I just, I-I just. At this point, John bursts into tears. Piper walks up to where he is, but doesn't touch him. John tries to hug Piper, but Piper walks away from him. Jay is OC, but it is implied that he is sitting by the staircase. PIPER (Yelling) FUCK YOU! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE. Dammit, dad, why the hell did you have to do this shit, huh?(Starting to cry, as well)Fuckin' bastard. I hate you. I HATE YOU! Piper continues to scream at his father, but is incomprehensible due to the fact that he is crying so hard. He falls to his knees and his face is three inches above the ground. As his father bends down to comfort him, Piper gives John a swift punch to the gut, taking him completely by surprise. Piper continues to punch John until his father becomes fed up, this can be seen on his face. At this point, John punches Piper once, very hard, in the stomach. This sends Piper back to the ground from whence he came, clutching his wounded area. FADE OUT. 38. INT. JONATHAN'S HOUSE-EARLY THE NEXT DAY-SUNNY ANGLE ON A window, just after the sun has risen. NEW ANGLE ON Jonathan waking up as rays of sunlight caress his face. He begins to narrate. JONATHAN (VO) Early morning, Saturday. Today is the day I always vent out my stress. How? With the wonderful game of golf. 39. EXT. GOLF COURSE-MOMENTS LATER-SUNNY Jonathan is standing on the first tee, he narrates as he sets up his shot. JONATHAN (VO) Yes, laddies and gentlemen. It is here that I get all my worries out of the way. Jonathan steps confidently up to his ball, wags his club, and gets ready to swing. His form is terrible, and he hits a duffer that doesn't even make it off the tee box. JONATHAN No big deal, right dad? RON We're just out here to have fun, pal. Jonathan smiles. CUT TO him in the rough on another hole. There are lots of trees, and he is stuck right in the middle of them. JONATHAN (VO) This is my third shot in this hole, it's a par five, and I'm playing terrible. But, not to worry, I've got a feeling about this shot. He hits it and it goes about a hundred yards in the wrong direction. Now, he's in the other rough. CUT TO A NEW ANGLE of Jonathan driving, his ball goes right and splashes in a pond. OVER THE SHOULDER SHOT of him trying to get out of a sand trap, his ball goes straight over the green and into another trap on the other side. Shot by shot, he gets angrier and angrier. FADE INTO Jonathan in the trees, miserable. JONATHAN (VO) This was it, the last hole. I had played awfully the whole day. I now had but one chance to redeem myself to some degree, I would still shoot somewhere around fifty-six if I made this shot count. That is by no means a good round of golf, I know. But, at least, for me, I wouldn't walk away completely humiliated. Jonathan prepares for the shot. JONATHAN (VO) This time, I knew I could do it. I closed my eyes and envisioned the perfect shot. Jonathan closes his eyes. IN BLACK AND WHITE, we see him make and incredible shot. We realize this is all part of his vision for the perfect shot when COLOR COMES BACK and he opens his eyes, ready to swing. JONATHAN (VO) Here goes nothing. ANGLE ON Jonathan as he hits the ball. NEW ANGLE ON a tree, as a ball ricochets off of it at what appears to be a very high speed. WIDE ANGLE ON Jonathan and his surrounding area as the ball flies back towards him at what seems like the speed of light, and hits him right smack in the chest. He falls to the ground and moans in pain. After a few seconds, he growls angrily. JONATHAN (Yelling) I can't believe this! This is what I get for trying! He hurls his club at a tree, breaking it. He then stands up and begins to march around and violently kick things, all in frustration. 40. INT. THE WILSON'S CAR-MOMENTS LATER-SUNNY Randal and his two parents, Tasha and EDWARD WILSON are driving along the highway as he tries to finish the projects he was supposed to. He begins to turn green. RANDAL Mom, I'm not feelin' so good. Cou-could you pull over maybe? TASHA Hell, no. We're makin' good time. RANDAL C'mon, guys. I'm feeling really sick. EDWARD I don't give a jolly shit one way or the other how you feel son. If we all went by how we felt all the time, where would we be? RANDAL Dad, I'm warning you... TASHA You sure as fuck had better not spew on these new leather seats. RANDAL Oh, dammit, I think this is it... Tasha turns around in her seat to talk to her son face to face. TASHA Listen, buster. You're just gonna have to- She is unable to complete the thought, for, at that moment, a stream of projectile vomit flows directly from Randal's mouth to her face. It gets all over her, the expensive-looking suit that she's wearing, and the leather seats. TASHA (Stunned) You did not just do that. You did not just FUCKING do that! She slaps Randal, and starts talking in a vulgar form of gibberish. RANDAL I'm sorry. Tasha begins to laugh hysterically. TASHA I'm sorry. I'm sorry? What the fuck do you think we're running here, a confession booth? Huh? You little- RANDAL (Interrupting) Mom, mom... I'm gonna be sick again... stop the car. 41. EXT. HIGHWAY-MOMENTS LATER-DAY ANGLE ON a white minivan as it stops, and the left rear door opens. A foot comes out, followed by the rest of Randal. He takes a couple of breaths, and looks noticeably better. RANDAL I'm okay now, I promise. EDWARD You better not be shittin' us, boy. RANDAL Really, I'm fine. HOLD ON CAR and, as Randal gets back in, the sounds of vomiting along with a disgusted scream are heard. 42. INT. PIPER'S HOUSE-DAY-RAINING John, and Judy Morgan are sitting on a couch talking about what happened last night. Judy is balling, and John is just sitting there, looking ashamed. JULIA I- SHEEHAN (Interrupting) Don't speak. Just listen. He kisses her on the lips. SHEEHAN Ever since I was in college, I knew I wanted to be a writer, but I just didn't have what it took. I wrote a book. I thought it was an absolute masterpiece, but it was rejected by every publisher it went to. I was a failure, but it didn't matter. I was already prepared for failure. But, one day a long time ago, I made myself a promise. I promised to myself that, If I found true love in my lifetime, I would tell that person right away how much I loved them. I love you more than life itself, Julia. But that wasn't the all of it. I also promised myself that I would take her away from everything, and that we would go where the wind took us and never look back. Julia, I'm asking you to come with me to see the world. I don't have much, but everything that I have is in my wallet. I took all of my money out of the bank yesterday. I only had about fifty thousand dollars, but it's all right here. I confess that I woke us up late on purpose, but I'm sure you can see why. He holds up his wallet, and Julia looks at him longingly. SHEEHAN Will you go with me? Will you love me forever and forever and never look back? JULIA Yes!!! Yes I will! I love you forever and forever. And I'll never look back. They kiss passionately. JONATHAN (VO) Sounds like something right out of a movie, doesn't it? 77. INT. MOVIE THEATER-HOURS LATER-NIGHT-RAINING ANGLE ON Piper and Tracy making out in the movie theater. PIPER C'mon baby. Let's get to fuckin' and suckin'! TRACY I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't refer to making love in that manner. PIPER Look, babe, I'll call it whatever you want me to. My mom and dad are at a divorce hearing right now, so I say we go back to my place, hop on the good foot, and do the bad thing. TRACY If that's all you wanted, why'd you invite me to the movies in the first place? PIPER So I could trick my parents, duh. TRACY When we did it in the bathroom that one time, it hurt. PIPER So what? It's all about experience baby. And, before I'm done with you, your gonna be a seasoned pro. 78. INT. JAY'S HOUSE-DAY WIDE ANGLE ON Jay and Randal, laughing hard and obviously very stoned. JAY Oh my god! I am so hungry. RANDAL Let's get some Ice cream! JAY (Excitedly) Yeah! Ice cream! 79. AUDITORIUM-DAY-SUNNY ANGLE ON HAROLD IPLET, the new substitute principal, as he stands before the school during 5th hour. Everyone is talking very loudly and Harold is noticeably annoyed. HAROLD (Yelling) Listen up! Everyone flinches and the room becomes completely quiet. HAROLD I have an announcement to make. Principal Sheehan and Ms. Julia McMahon have been gone for quite some time, as most of you all know. I am your substitute principal, Harold Iplet. Now, I want all of you to understand that there aren't going to be any more of these community building exercises until Mr. Sheehan gets back. Boos start coming from the crowd of students in the auditorium. HAROLD Now, we don't need any of that. The reason for this decision is that we have noticed your behavior getting worse ever since this program was started and Sister Agatha decided that your behavior would be much better while I was here if we stopped this program until things have gone back to normal. ANGLE ON Jonathan smiling radiantly. JONATHAN (VO) Great! I didn't have to do anything now. The problem solved itself! Or, I thought it did. 80. EXT. PICNIC TABLES-A FEW MINUTES LATER-DAY-SUNNY ANGLE ON Piper standing on top of a picnic table, making a speech. PIPER Ladies and gentlemen, something has to be done about this so-called wise descision made by Mr. Dipshit, or whatever his name is. This bastard thinks he can take away our 5th hour. This is bullshit! I fucking hate it! I say we show him who the bosses really are! The students get up and start cheering. ANGLE ON Piper, Jim, Student 1, Student 2, and Tracy as they sit around a picnic table and make plans. CAMERA DOES A 360 AROUND TABLE during their discussion. PIPER Alright guys here's the deal. Jim, your the tactical specialist, I want you to pick thirty people out to do battle with teachers and faculty. I don't want anyone to get hurt, just humiliated. You need cupcakes, twinkies, super-soakers, water balloons, shaving cream, silly string, and anything else that you can think of. You, (Points to Student 1) I want you to be the one in charge of taking them hostage. You need rope and bungie cord. You had damned well better make sure that not a hair on any of their fucking heads is so much as pulled out by one of your men. You need to pick five people, by the way. And you,(Points to Student 2) I want you to be the one in charge of calling the cops. That's right. I want everyone tied up but Mr. Dipshit. I want you and three other people to run away from the school and call the cops. Tell them that he threatened you guys with a gun and that he gave you stuff that kids use to play pranks on one another so that he could blame it on you. I also need you to hide a gun in his desk just for that purpose. TRACY Do I have a job? PIPER You can bet that fine ass of yours, you do. TRACY What is it? PIPER You have the most important role of all. I want you to keep Dipshit occupied. TRACY How? PIPER Take your shirt off or something. And then, when the police come, say he tried to molest you. STUDENT 2 What the hell will you be doing this whole time? PIPER I'm gonna lay low. And, when the time is right, I'm gonna come out and make it look like I was trying to save Tracy. We'll be heroes. It will take a couple of weeks to plan, but Christmas break starts this Friday. We can begin training then. ANGLE ON Jay Walters, hiding with Randal behind a bush, out of sight but not out of hearing range. JAY Did you hear that? RANDAL Oh my god. JAY This is our chance to get revenge on Piper. RANAL How? JAY When they go to call the cops, we intercept them, beat the shit out of them, and tell the cops what Piper is really trying to do. RANDAL Kickass. 81. INT. MOTEL ROOM-NIGHT-CLEAR ANGLE ON Sheehan and Julia laying in bed just after sex. She is laying on his chest and he has his arm around her shoulders. JULIA You're amazing you know that? How did you ever have the courage to do something like this? SHEEHAN I guess it just took a woman to bring out the goodness in me. Besides, you took a really big risk in doing this, yourself. JULIA I don't care where we go. I just want to be with you. I love you so much. SHEEHAN It's almost Christmas break for the kids, you know. JULIA I wonder what their doing? SHEEHAN Why do you care? JULIA I'm a little worried about one of them. SHEEHAN Don't worry, I'm sure Randal will turn out just fine. JULIA I'm not talking about Randal. I'm talking about Jonathan. SHEEHAN Why Jonathan? JULIA He sat all by himself. No one liked him. He was a real loner. SHEEHAN Who cares, some kids are just like that. JULIA Yeah. I guess so. TITLE CARD READS: "Christmas Break." 82. EXT. PIPER'S BACKYARD-DAY-CLOUDY ANGLE ON Piper as he trains Jim's recruits, SODIERS 1-30, in his backyard. Jim is standing behind Piper, paying close attention. PIPER Ladies and gentlemen, I called you here for one purpose and one purpose only; to defend our great school from the iron fist of the tyrannical principal, Mr. Dipshit. The recruits laugh. PIPER All jokes aside, this is not fair to us as a community, to take 5th hour away. Why? Because then, things will go back to the way they always were, with us having to behave in a manner that is almost decent. I don't know about you, but I won't stand for it! Not because I'm a bad person, mind you. But because 5th hour was a revolution, it opened our minds and allowed us to do what we want when we wanted to. It changed us. Piper continues to speak but we can't hear him because Jonathan is narrating over him. JONATHAN (VO) It changed them alright. But, unfortunately, it also became addictive, as you can see. Why? Because now they didn't have the privilege to treat one another like pond scum and not feel bad about it. Because of 5th hour, they could do whatever they wanted and, as long as they confessed to it in the auditorium, they wouldn't feel too guilty about it. Now, of course, they wouldn't feel so great if they beat someone up or made a classmate cry. Get it? 83. INT. RESTAURANT-DAY-CLOUDY ANGLE ON Sheehan and Julia, as a WAITRESS comes and gives him the check. Sheehan reaches into his pocket to find his wallet and looks extremely surprised to discover that it is missing. SHEEHAN Julia, did you see my wallet? JULIA Don't tell me you aren't carrying it. SHEEHAN Oh, no. I must have left it at our- 84. INT. MOTEL ROOM-MINUTES LATER-DAY-CLOUDY WIDE ANGLE ON Sheehan bursting through the door of the motel to look for his wallet. After a frantic search, he sighs and gives up. SHEEHAN It's not here anymore. I know I must have left it on this night stand right here. He taps the night stand with his fingers. JULIA Oh my god. We'll have to go back. SHEEHAN No, never. I promised myself that once I left, I'd not return. JULIA How are we supposed to get money, then? SHEEHAN We'll have to earn a buck here and there as we go. JULIA Like how? 85. INT. KITCHEN-A FEW HOURS LATER-NIGHT-CLEAR ANGLE ON Julia as she scrubs dishes. NEW ANGLE ON Sheehan, while he brings some more dirty dishes in for Julia to scrub. He kisses her. SHEEHAN Still love me? JULIA You bet your butt I do. Sheehan smiles and helps Julia do the dishes. She reaches into her purse for a cigarette, and Sheehan stops her. SHEEHAN You really ought to stop that, you know. JULIA Okay. 86. INT. RANDAL'S ROOM-MORNING-SUNNY ANGLE ON Randal and Jay scarfing down twinkies. JAY Fuck, man. I'm still hungry. Randal giggles uproariously. We're hardly able to understand his words through his fits of laughter. RANDAL Oh, shit man! Me too! Me too! Oh my god! Randal closes his eyes and calms down noticeably. RANDAL If you close your eyes like this and stay real still, you can feel your heart pumping blood through your entire body. If you look long enough and if you're stoned enough, you can see shit. Jay looks at Randal in a way that lets the audience know that he is Jay's new crush. He comes over and starts to kiss him. Randal pulls away. RANDAL Whoa. Whoa, Jay. Hold it. Shit, man. JAY I'm really sorry. I won't do it again, just don't tell everyone. Randal takes one look at him and they both start to laugh really hard. RANDAL Look... it's okay... He can't complete the sentence because he is laughing so hard. 87. INT. SHEEHAN'S CAR-NIGHT-CLEAR ANGLE ON Sheehan and Julia sitting in his car, talking. They are in a really bad part of whatever town they are in. It looks both scary and dangerous. SHEEHAN I think we're in the wrong part of town, Julia. JULIA Is there a wrong part of town? I thought we were supposed to go where the wind took us. SHEEHAN Well, I really hope the wind never takes us to a place like this again. Suddlenly, a hand knocks on Sheehan's window. A gun is now pointing at his through the window as a hand motions him to roll it down. He does, and is staring face to face with a .45 caliber pistol. PIMP begins to speak. PIMP I want the bitch sittin' beside you. SHEEHAN Um, look. I don't understand... PIMP Hey, dumshit, I want your bitch! SHEEHAN If you are referring to the wonderful person that is sitting beside me. PIMP I don't have time for this crap. Get out, bitch. SHEEHAN I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna let you have sex with- PIMP There's a gun to your head, motherfucker! You don't have much of a choice about what you will or will not do. Besides, I don't want her for myself, in that manner, at least. I want her for a ho. SHEEHAN No! Not a chance! Pimp is now very annoyed. PIMP If you and your bitch don't get your cracker ass out of the car this very second, I'm gonna blow your damn brains out. ANGLE ON Sheehan and Julia, now out of the car, standing face to face with Pimp, still holding them at gunpoint. PIMP Now, I'm sure you understand who you're up against and are willing to cooperate. Hey, Jimmy!... As Pimp turns toward the unseen JIMMY, Sheehan takes the gun, grabs it from Pimp's hand, grabs Julia, and starts running. At that moment, Jimmy, and absolutely huge giant of a man, starts to sprint after Sheehan and Julia. PIMP KILL THOSE ASSHOLES, JIMMY!!! I've always hated having to cut short the career of a potentially good ho(to himself). WIDE ANGLE ON Sheehan rounding the corner of the building they were standing by and pointing the gun in the general direction of his pursuer just as Jimmy comes into sight. SHEEHAN Stay right there. Don't move or I'll shoot! JIMMY Bullshit. I'm gonna pop your ass. Jimmy attempts to pull his gun. ANGLE ON Sheehan as he fires and Jimmy's blood splatters all over his face. PIMP (OC) (Crying) Motherfucker, you killed Jimmy. Your ass is mine! ANGLE ON Julia as she starts to look scared. JULIA Oh...Oh, no. SHEEHAN Oh, yes. C'mon. Before he catches us. STEADICAM Follows Julia and Sheehan as they run through the closest alley, in an effort to escape Pimp. Suddenly, they reach a dead end. PIMP (OC) (Yelling) I got you now, motherfucker. Your mine. JULIA We're gonna die.(She genuflects)Oh my Jesus, forgive us our sins... SHEEHAN (Shaking her) Listen to me! You're gonna be just fine. I'm here don't worry. ANGLE ON Pimp rounding the corner where Julia and Sheehan are hiding. NEW ANGLE ON Sheehan firing his pistol at Pimp and missing. CLOSE ANGLE ON Pimp firing the gigantic 12-gauge shotgun that he is holding. BEAT. A body falling and a scream are heard. WIDE ANGLE ON Julia, standing over Sheehan's dead body. He is shot in the head and lays lifelessly on the ground, his pistol still clutched in the grip of his lifeless right hand. Blood is everywhere and Julia is crying hysterically. OVER THE SHOULDER SHOT ON Pimp talking to Julia. PIMP You got one more chance, bitch. JULIA (Sobbing) Wha? You- you killed him. He's dead. Pimp walks over to Julia and puts his hand on her shoulder. PIMP Come to papa, baby. Julia looks up at him, frightened. 88. INT. JOHN MORGAN'S HOUSE-CHRISTMAS DAY-SUNNY ANGLE ON John and Piper, sitting in his new house, sipping coffee and getting ready to open presents. JOHN Look, I know that you didn't- PIPER Dad, I'm not even about to forgive you, if that's what you're thinking. The only reason I came over here is because I didn't want to piss mom off. John looks kind of sad and starts to stare out the window as Piper goes to the tree to open his presents. BEAT. A doorbell rings OC. WIDE ANGLE ON Piper getting up, sprinting across the room toward his father, and attempting to tackle him. PIPER Motherfucker! You invited her didn't you. Piper starts punching John, but his attacks take little affect. JOHN I just thought that if you got to know- PIPER I don't want to get to know that stupid slut! John peels Piper off him, and throws him on the floor. He then proceeds to answer the door. PIPER (Yelling) Fuck you! I'm fucking done with this bullshit. JOHN (OC) Suit yourself. STEADICAM follows Piper into his room where he plops down on his bed. NEW ANGLE ON a telephone as is rings and Piper picks it up. PIPER Hello...um...HOLY SHIT!!! NEW ANGLE ON Piper's feet as his phone hits the ground. 89. INT. SCHOOL BOARD MEETING-NIGHT-CLEAR CAMERA DOES A 360 around the table as school board talks. On it are: MR. SPENCER, John Morgan, and BOARD MEMBERS 1-12. JOHN Everyone, I have some rather bad news. BOARD MEMBER 3 What happened? JOHN Donald Sheehan's dead body was found in- MR. SPENCER Oh my god. How'd it happen? JOHN We don't know who killed him, all we know is that he suffered a gunshot wound to the head and that he was carrying a weapon on him. BOARD MEMBER 8 Do you know anything about Julia? JULIA I- SHEEHAN (Interrupting) Don't speak. Just listen. He kisses her on the lips. SHEEHAN Ever since I was in college, I knew I wanted to be a writer, but I just didn't have what it took. I wrote a book. I thought it was an absolute masterpiece, but it was rejected by every publisher it went to. I was a failure, but it didn't matter. I was already prepared for failure. But, one day a long time ago, I made myself a promise. I promised to myself that, If I found true love in my lifetime, I would tell that person right away how much I loved them. I love you more than life itself, Julia. But that wasn't the all of it. I also promised myself that I would take her away from everything, and that we would go where the wind took us and never look back. Julia, I'm asking you to come with me to see the world. I don't have much, but everything that I have is in my wallet. I took all of my money out of the bank yesterday. I only had about fifty thousand dollars, but it's all right here. I confess that I woke us up late on purpose, but I'm sure you can see why. He holds up his wallet, and Julia looks at him longingly. SHEEHAN Will you go with me? Will you love me forever and forever and never look back? JULIA Yes!!! Yes I will! I love you forever and forever. And I'll never look back. They kiss passionately. JONATHAN (VO) Sounds like something right out of a movie, doesn't it? 77. INT. MOVIE THEATER-HOURS LATER-NIGHT-RAINING ANGLE ON Piper and Tracy making out in the movie theater. PIPER C'mon baby. Let's get to fuckin' and suckin'! TRACY I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't refer to making love in that manner. PIPER Look, babe, I'll call it whatever you want me to. My mom and dad are at a divorce hearing right now, so I say we go back to my place, hop on the good foot, and do the bad thing. TRACY If that's all you wanted, why'd you invite me to the movies in the first place? PIPER So I could trick my parents, duh. TRACY When we did it in the bathroom that one time, it hurt. PIPER So what? It's all about experience baby. And, before I'm done with you, your gonna be a seasoned pro. 78. INT. JAY'S HOUSE-DAY WIDE ANGLE ON Jay and Randal, laughing hard and obviously very stoned. JAY Oh my god! I am so hungry. RANDAL Let's get some Ice cream! JAY (Excitedly) Yeah! Ice cream! 79. AUDITORIUM-DAY-SUNNY ANGLE ON HAROLD IPLET, the new substitute principal, as he stands before the school during 5th hour. Everyone is talking very loudly and Harold is noticeably annoyed. HAROLD (Yelling) Listen up! Everyone flinches and the room becomes completely quiet. HAROLD I have an announcement to make. Principal Sheehan and Ms. Julia McMahon have been gone for quite some time, as most of you all know. I am your substitute principal, Harold Iplet. Now, I want all of you to understand that there aren't going to be any more of these community building exercises until Mr. Sheehan gets back. Boos start coming from the crowd of students in the auditorium. HAROLD Now, we don't need any of that. The reason for this decision is that we have noticed your behavior getting worse ever since this program was started and Sister Agatha decided that your behavior would be much better while I was here if we stopped this program until things have gone back to normal. ANGLE ON Jonathan smiling radiantly. JONATHAN (VO) Great! I didn't have to do anything now. The problem solved itself! Or, I thought it did. 80. EXT. PICNIC TABLES-A FEW MINUTES LATER-DAY-SUNNY ANGLE ON Piper standing on top of a picnic table, making a speech. PIPER Ladies and gentlemen, something has to be done about this so-called wise descision made by Mr. Dipshit, or whatever his name is. This bastard thinks he can take away our 5th hour. This is bullshit! I fucking hate it! I say we show him who the bosses really are! The students get up and start cheering. ANGLE ON Piper, Jim, Student 1, Student 2, and Tracy as they sit around a picnic table and make plans. CAMERA DOES A 360 AROUND TABLE during their discussion. PIPER Alright guys here's the deal. Jim, your the tactical specialist, I want you to pick thirty people out to do battle with teachers and faculty. I don't want anyone to get hurt, just humiliated. You need cupcakes, twinkies, super-soakers, water balloons, shaving cream, silly string, and anything else that you can think of. You, (Points to Student 1) I want you to be the one in charge of taking them hostage. You need rope and bungie cord. You had damned well better make sure that not a hair on any of their fucking heads is so much as pulled out by one of your men. You need to pick five people, by the way. And you,(Points to Student 2) I want you to be the one in charge of calling the cops. That's right. I want everyone tied up but Mr. Dipshit. I want you and three other people to run away from the school and call the cops. Tell them that he threatened you guys with a gun and that he gave you stuff that kids use to play pranks on one another so that he could blame it on you. I also need you to hide a gun in his desk just for that purpose. TRACY Do I have a job? PIPER You can bet that fine ass of yours, you do. TRACY What is it? PIPER You have the most important role of all. I want you to keep Dipshit occupied. TRACY How? PIPER Take your shirt off or something. And then, when the police come, say he tried to molest you. STUDENT 2 What the hell will you be doing this whole time? PIPER I'm gonna lay low. And, when the time is right, I'm gonna come out and make it look like I was trying to save Tracy. We'll be heroes. It will take a couple of weeks to plan, but Christmas break starts this Friday. We can begin training then. ANGLE ON Jay Walters, hiding with Randal behind a bush, out of sight but not out of hearing range. JAY Did you hear that? RANDAL Oh my god. JAY This is our chance to get revenge on Piper. RANAL How? JAY When they go to call the cops, we intercept them, beat the shit out of them, and tell the cops what Piper is really trying to do. RANDAL Kickass. 81. INT. MOTEL ROOM-NIGHT-CLEAR ANGLE ON Sheehan and Julia laying in bed just after sex. She is laying on his chest and he has his arm around her shoulders. JULIA You're amazing you know that? How did you ever have the courage to do something like this? SHEEHAN I guess it just took a woman to bring out the goodness in me. Besides, you took a really big risk in doing this, yourself. JULIA I don't care where we go. I just want to be with you. I love you so much. SHEEHAN It's almost Christmas break for the kids, you know. JULIA I wonder what their doing? SHEEHAN Why do you care? JULIA I'm a little worried about one of them. SHEEHAN Don't worry, I'm sure Randal will turn out just fine. JULIA I'm not talking about Randal. I'm talking about Jonathan. SHEEHAN Why Jonathan? JULIA He sat all by himself. No one liked him. He was a real loner. SHEEHAN Who cares, some kids are just like that. JULIA Yeah. I guess so. TITLE CARD READS: "Christmas Break." 82. EXT. PIPER'S BACKYARD-DAY-CLOUDY ANGLE ON Piper as he trains Jim's recruits, SODIERS 1-30, in his backyard. Jim is standing behind Piper, paying close attention. PIPER Ladies and gentlemen, I called you here for one purpose and one purpose only; to defend our great school from the iron fist of the tyrannical principal, Mr. Dipshit. The recruits laugh. PIPER All jokes aside, this is not fair to us as a community, to take 5th hour away. Why? Because then, things will go back to the way they always were, with us having to behave in a manner that is almost decent. I don't know about you, but I won't stand for it! Not because I'm a bad person, mind you. But because 5th hour was a revolution, it opened our minds and allowed us to do what we want when we wanted to. It changed us. Piper continues to speak but we can't hear him because Jonathan is narrating over him. JONATHAN (VO) It changed them alright. But, unfortunately, it also became addictive, as you can see. Why? Because now they didn't have the privilege to treat one another like pond scum and not feel bad about it. Because of 5th hour, they could do whatever they wanted and, as long as they confessed to it in the auditorium, they wouldn't feel too guilty about it. Now, of course, they wouldn't feel so great if they beat someone up or made a classmate cry. Get it? 83. INT. RESTAURANT-DAY-CLOUDY ANGLE ON Sheehan and Julia, as a WAITRESS comes and gives him the check. Sheehan reaches into his pocket to find his wallet and looks extremely surprised to discover that it is missing. SHEEHAN Julia, did you see my wallet? JULIA Don't tell me you aren't carrying it. SHEEHAN Oh, no. I must have left it at our- 84. INT. MOTEL ROOM-MINUTES LATER-DAY-CLOUDY WIDE ANGLE ON Sheehan bursting through the door of the motel to look for his wallet. After a frantic search, he sighs and gives up. SHEEHAN It's not here anymore. I know I must have left it on this night stand right here. He taps the night stand with his fingers. JULIA Oh my god. We'll have to go back. SHEEHAN No, never. I promised myself that once I left, I'd not return. JULIA How are we supposed to get money, then? SHEEHAN We'll have to earn a buck here and there as we go. JULIA Like how? 85. INT. KITCHEN-A FEW HOURS LATER-NIGHT-CLEAR ANGLE ON Julia as she scrubs dishes. NEW ANGLE ON Sheehan, while he brings some more dirty dishes in for Julia to scrub. He kisses her. SHEEHAN Still love me? JULIA You bet your butt I do. Sheehan smiles and helps Julia do the dishes. She reaches into her purse for a cigarette, and Sheehan stops her. SHEEHAN You really ought to stop that, you know. JULIA Okay. 86. INT. RANDAL'S ROOM-MORNING-SUNNY ANGLE ON Randal and Jay scarfing down twinkies. JAY Fuck, man. I'm still hungry. Randal giggles uproariously. We're hardly able to understand his words through his fits of laughter. RANDAL Oh, shit man! Me too! Me too! Oh my god! Randal closes his eyes and calms down noticeably. RANDAL If you close your eyes like this and stay real still, you can feel your heart pumping blood through your entire body. If you look long enough and if you're stoned enough, you can see shit. Jay looks at Randal in a way that lets the audience know that he is Jay's new crush. He comes over and starts to kiss him. Randal pulls away. RANDAL Whoa. Whoa, Jay. Hold it. Shit, man. JAY I'm really sorry. I won't do it again, just don't tell everyone. Randal takes one look at him and they both start to laugh really hard. RANDAL Look... it's okay... He can't complete the sentence because he is laughing so hard. 87. INT. SHEEHAN'S CAR-NIGHT-CLEAR ANGLE ON Sheehan and Julia sitting in his car, talking. They are in a really bad part of whatever town they are in. It looks both scary and dangerous. SHEEHAN I think we're in the wrong part of town, Julia. JULIA Is there a wrong part of town? I thought we were supposed to go where the wind took us. SHEEHAN Well, I really hope the wind never takes us to a place like this again. Suddlenly, a hand knocks on Sheehan's window. A gun is now pointing at his through the window as a hand motions him to roll it down. He does, and is staring face to face with a .45 caliber pistol. PIMP begins to speak. PIMP I want the bitch sittin' beside you. SHEEHAN Um, look. I don't understand... PIMP Hey, dumshit, I want your bitch! SHEEHAN If you are referring to the wonderful person that is sitting beside me. PIMP I don't have time for this crap. Get out, bitch. SHEEHAN I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna let you have sex with- PIMP There's a gun to your head, motherfucker! You don't have much of a choice about what you will or will not do. Besides, I don't want her for myself, in that manner, at least. I want her for a ho. SHEEHAN No! Not a chance! Pimp is now very annoyed. PIMP If you and your bitch don't get your cracker ass out of the car this very second, I'm gonna blow your damn brains out. ANGLE ON Sheehan and Julia, now out of the car, standing face to face with Pimp, still holding them at gunpoint. PIMP Now, I'm sure you understand who you're up against and are willing to cooperate. Hey, Jimmy!... As Pimp turns toward the unseen JIMMY, Sheehan takes the gun, grabs it from Pimp's hand, grabs Julia, and starts running. At that moment, Jimmy, and absolutely huge giant of a man, starts to sprint after Sheehan and Julia. PIMP KILL THOSE ASSHOLES, JIMMY!!! I've always hated having to cut short the career of a potentially good ho(to himself). WIDE ANGLE ON Sheehan rounding the corner of the building they were standing by and pointing the gun in the general direction of his pursuer just as Jimmy comes into sight. SHEEHAN Stay right there. Don't move or I'll shoot! JIMMY Bullshit. I'm gonna pop your ass. Jimmy attempts to pull his gun. ANGLE ON Sheehan as he fires and Jimmy's blood splatters all over his face. PIMP (OC) (Crying) Motherfucker, you killed Jimmy. Your ass is mine! ANGLE ON Julia as she starts to look scared. JULIA Oh...Oh, no. SHEEHAN Oh, yes. C'mon. Before he catches us. STEADICAM Follows Julia and Sheehan as they run through the closest alley, in an effort to escape Pimp. Suddenly, they reach a dead end. PIMP (OC) (Yelling) I got you now, motherfucker. Your mine. JULIA We're gonna die.(She genuflects)Oh my Jesus, forgive us our sins... SHEEHAN (Shaking her) Listen to me! You're gonna be just fine. I'm here don't worry. ANGLE ON Pimp rounding the corner where Julia and Sheehan are hiding. NEW ANGLE ON Sheehan firing his pistol at Pimp and missing. CLOSE ANGLE ON Pimp firing the gigantic 12-gauge shotgun that he is holding. BEAT. A body falling and a scream are heard. WIDE ANGLE ON Julia, standing over Sheehan's dead body. He is shot in the head and lays lifelessly on the ground, his pistol still clutched in the grip of his lifeless right hand. Blood is everywhere and Julia is crying hysterically. OVER THE SHOULDER SHOT ON Pimp talking to Julia. PIMP You got one more chance, bitch. JULIA (Sobbing) Wha? You- you killed him. He's dead. Pimp walks over to Julia and puts his hand on her shoulder. PIMP Come to papa, baby. Julia looks up at him, frightened. 88. INT. JOHN MORGAN'S HOUSE-CHRISTMAS DAY-SUNNY ANGLE ON John and Piper, sitting in his new house, sipping coffee and getting ready to open presents. JOHN Look, I know that you didn't- PIPER Dad, I'm not even about to forgive you, if that's what you're thinking. The only reason I came over here is because I didn't want to piss mom off. John looks kind of sad and starts to stare out the window as Piper goes to the tree to open his presents. BEAT. A doorbell rings OC. WIDE ANGLE ON Piper getting up, sprinting across the room toward his father, and attempting to tackle him. PIPER Motherfucker! You invited her didn't you. Piper starts punching John, but his attacks take little affect. JOHN I just thought that if you got to know- PIPER I don't want to get to know that stupid slut! John peels Piper off him, and throws him on the floor. He then proceeds to answer the door. PIPER (Yelling) Fuck you! I'm fucking done with this bullshit. JOHN (OC) Suit yourself. STEADICAM follows Piper into his room where he plops down on his bed. NEW ANGLE ON a telephone as is rings and Piper picks it up. PIPER Hello...um...HOLY SHIT!!! NEW ANGLE ON Piper's feet as his phone hits the ground. 89. INT. SCHOOL BOARD MEETING-NIGHT-CLEAR CAMERA DOES A 360 around the table as school board talks. On it are: MR. SPENCER, John Morgan, and BOARD MEMBERS 1-12. JOHN Everyone, I have some rather bad news. BOARD MEMBER 3 What happened? JOHN Donald Sheehan's dead body was found in- MR. SPENCER Oh my god. How'd it happen? JOHN We don't know who killed him, all we know is that he suffered a gunshot wound to the head and that he was carrying a weapon on him. BOARD MEMBER 8 Do you know anything about Julia?